The New York City Rockettes Are Laying Off Half of The Dancers

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Sunday, 9 January 2022

image for The New York City Rockettes Are Laying Off Half of The Dancers
Rockettes must not have tattoos, cellulite, spider veins, nipple rings, or dandruff.

NEW YORK CITY – (Satire News) – In a move that at first was being blamed solely on the dreaded Trumpapalooza Virus, the most famous dance group in the world will be laying off 50% of their dancers.

A spokesperson for the New York City Rockettes, Rochelle Del Quell, 51, stated that although all of the girls are fine, the reason is purely financial.

Miss Del Quell, noted that the city of New York has had to cut back on many of its city sponsored groups; including the Hollistic Arts, Music From Around The World, the Central Park Squirrel Feeding Program, and Viagra For The Elderly Fellas.

Last summer, 10 of the Rockettes were laid off, due to income tax irregularities.

Troupe leader, Jenny Brownpenney, stated for the record that any girls who get laid off in 2022, will be able to collect unemployment insurance, still keep their official New York City Rockettes Card, and still get a 12% discount at any adult sex toy shop in downtown Manhattan.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more