A surge of a crippling illness has caused the English PM to call an emergency press conference before he announces his latest insane Covid19 non-restrictions allowing the UK public spread the dreaded virus even further.
The crippling illness that has hit England, not Wales, Scotland, or Northern Ireland, was caused by consuming over-doses of wobbly Italian spaghetti and pizzas before a certain confrontation in London, it had a 'Domino Effect' on the English population and emergency services were called out to transport victims of this strange, repetitive illness called 'Knobbly-Knees Syndrome!'
It spread like wildfire after a dramatic 'Wobbly-Knobbly-Kneed' performance by English footy players and the whole nation felt a wobble or two in their Knobbly-Knees. Knobbly-Kneed tremors were measured on the Richter-Scale and even an earthquake could not have caused more wobbles!
Those who could not stand up after the drama are now lying-in intensive care because the intensive care units specially built for Covid19 patients are empty until Brits return from their sunny holidays in Spain, Italy, Greece, Portugal, etc.
Luckily, Italians in England flogging pizzas and spaghetti showed no symptoms of this terrible illness. They kept their Knobbly-Knees under control, loaded their wallets, and went home satisfied after a great nights business, Grazie Mille!
The English public will now have 18 months to recover, no vaccinations required by the way, and hope this terrible illness does not repeat itself again and again because 55 years of suffering is enough. Maybe Italy can offer some sound advice in how to consume wobbly spaghetti, or flabby pizzas, and still not be infected by this seemingly, idiosyncratic disease that visits England every two years!
Hope is eternal!