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Funny satire stories about Coronavirus

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Funny story: Man Positive He Knows Which Wanker Gave Him Virus

Man Positive He Knows Which Wanker Gave Him Virus

Office worker Myke Kenwood told reporters, Tuesday, that he knows exactly which wanker gave him the coronavirus. Suffering from a cough, fever and a severe sore throat, Kenwood said: "That wanker, Tatty Mullett; it's his fault. Twat. I remember hi...

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Funny story: Man Had Beef, Peppers And Onions With Rice For His Tea

Man Had Beef, Peppers And Onions With Rice For His Tea

A man whose wife may not be the best cook in the world, but who puts her heart and soul into it all the same, has revealed how he was served up an appetizing meal yesterday evening, consisting of beef, peppers and onions, with a sideplate of boiled r...

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Funny story: Healthiest Man In The World Dies Of Coronavirus

Healthiest Man In The World Dies Of Coronavirus

The officially healthiest man in the world, Chris. P. Bacon, has died after having tested positive for the coronavirus COVID-19. Chris was admitted to hospital at 11.30 this morning, with three gunshot wounds to the chest, but died shortly after bein...

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Funny story: Panda meat salesmen struggling to survive

Panda meat salesmen struggling to survive

Fung Ho has sold panda meat at the Nanchong exotic market every day for the last 30 years. But recently he has found that customers are avoiding his delicacies. "Ever since colonavilus, nobody want buy panda," said Fung. "I have panda flesh, flesh...

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Funny story: Mayan High Priest Hokum Revises Coronavirus Doomsday Prediction

Mayan High Priest Hokum Revises Coronavirus Doomsday Prediction

BILLINGSGATE POST - Mayan High Chief Hokum, after watching the latest Trump Coronavirus update, told FOX NEWS Sean Hannity, that it is time for everyone to practice "grabbing your ankles, putting your head between your legs and kissing your ass goodb...

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Funny story: Self Isolating Grandmother Finally Discovers Porn On The Internet

Self Isolating Grandmother Finally Discovers Porn On The Internet

A self-isolating senior from Baltimore has discovered that internet porn 'is a thing', after spending the last sixteen days surfing the internet, and scrolling through dozens of online search results. 70-year-old Martha Mullett admitted, Monday, t...

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Funny story: Sex Every Night For Some Couples During Lockdown

Sex Every Night For Some Couples During Lockdown

It's being suggested, in some circles, that the closure of public places where people gather in numbers, to attempt to prevent the spread of the Coronavirus, is having a positive effect on married couples, some of whom now admit to having sex every n...

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Funny story: Standing Ovation for Queen as she delivers food parcels to council estate

Standing Ovation for Queen as she delivers food parcels to council estate

Members of the public applauded Queen Elizabeth the Second as she delivered urgently-needed food parcels to a council estate in South London. Many stood in their doorways, a few metres apart, clapping and waving Union flags, as the 93-year-old monarc...

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Funny story: A Tiger in the Bronx Zoo Tests Positive for the Coronavirus

A Tiger in the Bronx Zoo Tests Positive for the Coronavirus

NEW YORK CITY – A 4-year-old Malayan-Himalayan tiger named Nadia Comaneci is the first animal in the history of animals to get the Coronavirus. Bronx Zoo Assistant Director, Pixie P. Pinzer, said that Naddie first exhibited signs of the C-19 after...

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Funny story: Celebrity Squares To Make A Comeback In Effort To Thwart Lockdown Boredom

Celebrity Squares To Make A Comeback In Effort To Thwart Lockdown Boredom

The once-popular Sunday teatime TV gameshow, Celebrity Squares, is to make a long-awaited comeback in an effort to give viewers something to look forward to at the weekend, and to beat the Lockdown Blues. Originally hosted by Bob Monkhouse, the sh...

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Funny story: Fat Man And His Fatter Wife Unable To Social-Distance Adequately Due To Being Morbidly Obese

Fat Man And His Fatter Wife Unable To Social-Distance Adequately Due To Being Morbidly Obese

A man and his wife who are both fat bastards, have said they are unable to comply with the government's advice on social-distancing because of their issues with obesity. Richard and Julie Blobby, from Hull in East Yorkshire, both weigh around 20 s...

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Funny story: Greta Thunberg: Only A Meteor Can Save Us From Coronavirus

Greta Thunberg: Only A Meteor Can Save Us From Coronavirus

Greta Thunberg has a lot on her plate, these days. As if accelerated climate change and impending environmental disaster through global warming weren't enough for the young Swedish activist, there's now the Coronavirus to contend with - it never rain...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Has Trouble Distinguishing between Full Circle and Square One

Nashville Man Has Trouble Distinguishing between Full Circle and Square One

After being laid off his day job due to a coronavirus-related moratorium on contract renewals, aspiring professional photographer Jimmy Fogg of Nashville, Tennessee, once again found himself unemployed and at loose ends. In other words, he’d come ful...

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Funny story: Insect And Animal Populations Already Recovering As A Result Of Lockdown

Insect And Animal Populations Already Recovering As A Result Of Lockdown

The Coronavirus may be bringing the end of the world as we, the human race, know it, but it won't be the end of the world for anything else on the planet - in fact, the disappearance of homo sapiens from the landscape is already having a beneficial...

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Funny story: Man Adheres To Government's Social-Distancing Rules, Despite Wife's Efforts To Get Back Into House

Man Adheres To Government's Social-Distancing Rules, Despite Wife's Efforts To Get Back Into House

The UK government has stressed it is one hundred per cent serious about its Coronavirus social-distancing rules, that's what one man just couldn't seem to get his wife to understand, this week, as she repeatedly tried to get back into their home in H...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Feels for Those Who Had Lives before Coronavirus

Nashville Man Feels for Those Who Had Lives before Coronavirus

Thirty-three-year-old Nick Jameson of Nashville, Tennessee, couldn't have been more moved to hear of the havoc wreaked in people’s professional lives and personal relationships by the nationwide lockdown due to coronavirus - and could only be gratefu...

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Funny story: Manchester United Captain Harry Maguire Has Put In Increased Pay Claim

Manchester United Captain Harry Maguire Has Put In Increased Pay Claim

There may not be much football being played at the moment, due to the Coronavirus shutdown, but everyone has to eat, and food costs money, and this seems to be the primary reason why Manchester United and England central defender, Harry Maguire, has...

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