NEW YORK CITY – (Sports Satire) - The NFL commissioner has informed the news media that, unlike Major League Baseball, he will not allow the placing of cardboard cut-out fans in NFL stadiums.
Commissioner Roger Goodell stated to the press that Coronavirus experts have warned that cardboard is a perfect carrier of the C-19 virus bacteria germs.
He stressed that tests were conducted at Yankee Stadium, home of the New York Yankees, and, out of the 319 cardboard fan cut-outs, 61 were found to have some degree of the Covid-19 virus.
Goodell stated that the 61 cardboard fan cut-outs were placed in a dump truck and dumped into the Hudson River.
Meanwhile, reports are that the New England Patriots organization has asked the commissioner if they can use inflatable sex dolls in place of the cardboard fan cut-outs.
As of press time, Commissioner Roger Goodell had not replied to the Patriot's request.
