Local Spoof News

23 August 2019

Local Employee Decapitated For Having Too Many Unexcused Absences

St. Paul, Minnesota. The corporate staff at Pete's National Decking Products, a factory that produces household furniture items and outdoor decking material, executed one of their employees last Monday at 12:30 pm. Thomas Waters, 42, was allo...

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Bad Luck Follows Good for Disheartened Local Man

Local Man and One Time Failed Evangelist, Seaton Carew (42), today revealed that he is the recent recipient of the good news that he has been waiting so long for. Unfortunately, the wannabe wastrel had to wait no time at all for a bout of bad news...

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Local Man Devastated By Wife's Sordid Secret

Local man Martin Shuttlecock remained in hiding today following the horrific discovery he made Sunday at the Shuttlecock family residence - a discovery which caused him to flee the house screaming, wearing nothing but the clothes he stood up in, and...

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Britain's largest treasure hoard found in a back garden in Wigan

Two amateur treasure hunters in Wigan were tying out a new metal detector in their own back garden when they uncovered a rare haul of Roman gold and silver. "We were staggered when it beeped over my petunias," said Kathy Trove. "Staggered, yeah...

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Starbucks Mug Cracked First Time Man Poured Hot Water Into It

A mug produced by the world-famous coffee percolators, Starbucks Coffee, was found to be 'not fit for purpose' when one man decided to use it for the first time yesterday. Moys Kenwood, 55, gagging for a cup of tea, boiled some water in his kettle...

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Tea Burnt Man's Lips

We've all done it at some time in the past - taken a rather-too-large sip of a piping hot, freshly-brewed cup of tea - immediately realising, all too late, that it was a tad hotter than we'd imagined, and scalded our mouths and throats! WORK We...

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Local Man Auctions Frank Sinatra's Pork Pie Hat On The Internet - Wife Furious

Art Critic Blasts Fingerpaintings

Nashville Man Sees an Angel and Friends and Family Have No Trouble Believing Him

Man Writes Spoof Story About Spoof Stories About Men Doing Stuff

Local Man Unwitting Witness To Daft Bag Leaving Bag On Train

Local Man In Cup Of Tea Rage Incident

Local Man Looks Out Window - Gets The Weather Wrong

Weather "Unsettled" - Nonsense, Says Local Man

Otherwise Normal Man Cannot Stop Assessing Structural Stability of Surroundings

Local couple repeat old conversation

Local Man, Billions in Debt, Succeeds in Convincing Bank Manager to Stop Raising Interest Rates by Threatening to Fire Him

World Dungaree Championships Cause Travel Chaos In Scooterville

Man Convinced Traffic Lights Are Rigged

Determined to explain why he showed up late to work again, Larry Michaels, a department manager at Sears, convinced himself last Tuesday that traffic lights are rigged against him. "I feel like the traffic lights are conspiring to slow me down. I...

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Aloof Dog Owner Shakes on Insidious Business Deal with Roxie

Laura Preston of Old Oak, Missouri, had no idea what soul-crushing deal she would be solidifying when she prompted six-year-old retriever, Roxie, for a paw last Friday night. "I always ask Roxie to shake before I take out the dry food," said Prest...

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Man shocked to realise he is 'that' man

A man in Chutney on the Fritz has realised that he is actually 'that' man. Brian Asshat, 63 always thought that he was being helpful, but was both shocked and saddened to be told that he wasn't. 'For more years than I care to remember,' said th...

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Local council to be computer free by 2013

A leaked internal memo from Saddleworth Council has been delivered to Spoof HQ. Its contents show that the council aims to be computer free by 2013, when all I.T staff will be re equipped. The document reads as follows: The Saddleworth Council I.T Systems Committee has defined a lower cost alternative to the previously planned Windows 8 system conversion. All computers will be removed fr...

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Bean Flicking in Crumpet Dean

Women of all ages from around the sleepy village of Crumpet-Dean in Gloucestershire will today be joining the locals on the green for an unusual event to flick-start the harvest season. Today marks the annual 'Flicking Of The Bean'- a competition...

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American Pickers to be filmed in the North West

Council estate gardens in Oldham, Moston and Stalybridge to be picked. The hit TV show American Pickers is filming a new series in the UK, and this reporter has been given access to the filming of one of the episodes. The series will be filmed in some of Manchester, Oldham and Tameside's famous grot spots, and will involve the stars of the show Mike Wolfe and Frank Fritz trawling through rubb...

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Man still thinks he is in with a chance

Although he has not spoken to her for more than forty years, and she has been happily married to a perfect man for 25 of those, grammar pedant Brian Asshat, 63, still believes that he has a chance with the love of his early twenties, Karen Brassingth...

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Ali Bullo's Kebab And Pizza Van On Standby For United v Arsenal Clash

Local kebab and pizza van entrepreneur, Ali Bullo, has just confirmed that his flagship kebab and pizza van will be on standby for Manchester United's Premier League clash with Arsenal at Old Trafford tonight. United versus Arsenal has been someth...

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Man Reacts to Reactions to Story About Stories About Men Doing Things

A local man has reacted to the reactions stimulated by a Spoof story he may or may not have written about the recent proliferation of stories being published in The Spoof that are about a Man doing things. The man, 47, who lives in the middle of n...

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College Student Takes a Dump and Then Makes His Roommates Look at It

Cockland University. Roy Bunders, 20, took a dump so incredibly big last Thursday that he immediately felt the need to show it to his roommates. "I had just eaten at the cafeteria, and I felt the urgent need to go to the restroom," he said.

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Man Decides to Quit Drinking After Company Party

After becoming cognitively confused, pissing in his pants, throwing up all over the place, and saying things to his co-workers that he couldn't remember the next day, local Iowa man, Richard Head, has finally decided to quit drinking. "It just...

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EVA Air Fork Missing

There was 'tension around the table' in one Battambang household on Monday evening, when it was revealed that an airline fork, part of a cherished collection of airline cutlery, had gone missing. The fork - stolen from an EVA Air flight from Bang...

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A Desperate Ghost Town, N.J., Mayor asks an old friend for an ambulance-chasing, lawyering job

Ghost Town, N.J., Mayor Martin Forrest Thwaite knew that within just months, he would most likely be out of a job. He was defeated in the last election by a landslide. So he did what any guy with a valid law degree would do - he struck out to get a j...

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Vagueness Spreads as Something Happens... and all that

SOMEWHERE, I DON'T KNOW, YOU KNOW THAT PLACE BETWEEN WALES AND THAT FRANCE BIT? - Journalists across the world have accessed an amazing scoop, however, they were unable to locate it due to the indecisiveness of GPS units. The apathy is not just ba...

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