Local Spoof News

16 June 2019

Billiard Ball Spotted In Middle Of Road

A man walking along a deserted road near his home in a backwoods and out-of-the-way place had a mild shock this weekend, when, much to his surprise, he found a billiard ball in the middle of the road. The ball was the number 11 ball. All kinds...

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Local Man Builds House Out of Guns

A local gun collector has so many guns that he has decided to build a house out of them. That's right, Dan Felcher, from the local township in Texas is constructing what is believed to be only the third house on his block made out of guns. "You...

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Community Service Projects Still Provide Excellent Way To Relieve Horrendous Amounts Of Guilt

After analyzing the results of numerous surveys that were conducted throughout several counties in Wisconsin, top university officials within the UW System concluded Monday that volunteering for community service projects is still an excellent way fo...

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EVA Air Fork Missing

There was 'tension around the table' in one Battambang household on Monday evening, when it was revealed that an airline fork, part of a cherished collection of airline cutlery, had gone missing. The fork - stolen from an EVA Air flight from Bang...

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Local Employee Decapitated For Having Too Many Unexcused Absences

St. Paul, Minnesota. The corporate staff at Pete's National Decking Products, a factory that produces household furniture items and outdoor decking material, executed one of their employees last Monday at 12:30 pm. Thomas Waters, 42, was allo...

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Man shocked to realise he is 'that' man

A man in Chutney on the Fritz has realised that he is actually 'that' man. Brian Asshat, 63 always thought that he was being helpful, but was both shocked and saddened to be told that he wasn't. 'For more years than I care to remember,' said th...

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Teacher's Armpits Were Rank

Local Man Looks Forward to Waiting Now Waiting is Over

Local Man Who Thinks He's Better Than Everyone Else Gets Rumbled

Town Not Strong Enough to Recover From Tragedy

A Desperate Ghost Town, N.J., Mayor asks an old friend for an ambulance-chasing, lawyering job

Local Man Caught Up In Travel Chaos - Cancelled Christmas Train Almost Causes Severe Frostbite

Local Woman Sees God Everywhere

Local Man In Mourning Over Dead Gazebo

Local Man On The Mend - Enjoys Strange Afternoon At Country Inn

Long Suffering Wife Of Local Man Wakes Herself Up Snoring Ahead Of Haye v Klitschko Fight

Local Man Retires Two Years Early to Spend More Time Fuming About Ocasio-Cortez on Social Media

Local Man Declines Sausage Flavoured Lager

Man Spends Weekend In Garden Shed After Dispute With Wife

A pensioner from Leeds has revealed how he spent the weekend holed-up in his back garden shed, after an argument with his wife "over nowt at all". Arthur Batty, 68, fell foul of his wife, Edna, 65, after she asked him if he liked a new mauve cardi...

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Man Changed His Mind

Indecision was rampant in the Battambang commune of Tapon this morning, when a man who had initially made a 'concrete decision' about something, subsequently changed his mind. The man, Moys Kenwood, 54, a teacher at a school in the city, had thoug...

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Man still thinks he is in with a chance

Although he has not spoken to her for more than forty years, and she has been happily married to a perfect man for 25 of those, grammar pedant Brian Asshat, 63, still believes that he has a chance with the love of his early twenties, Karen Brassingth...

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Man Kept Thinking It Was Saturday When It Was Only Friday!

There was confusion aplenty in one backwoods-and-out-of-the-way place today, when one man kept thinking it was Saturday when, in reality, it was only Friday! The confusion had arisen because of the fact that Khmer New Year celebrations, which star...

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Minorities Upset About New Cable TV Network: White Entertainment Television (WET)

(AP) Minority groups across the United States were visually upset and preparing to march against their local cable companies at the announcement of a new television station. White Entertainment Television (WET) will make its debut in November on ove...

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American Pickers to be filmed in the North West

Council estate gardens in Oldham, Moston and Stalybridge to be picked. The hit TV show American Pickers is filming a new series in the UK, and this reporter has been given access to the filming of one of the episodes. The series will be filmed in some of Manchester, Oldham and Tameside's famous grot spots, and will involve the stars of the show Mike Wolfe and Frank Fritz trawling through rubb...

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Starbucks Mug Cracked First Time Man Poured Hot Water Into It

A mug produced by the world-famous coffee percolators, Starbucks Coffee, was found to be 'not fit for purpose' when one man decided to use it for the first time yesterday. Moys Kenwood, 55, gagging for a cup of tea, boiled some water in his kettle...

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Area Man Doesn’t Know What Bitcoin or Meek Mill is

In a wide-ranging interview at his son’s lacrosse practice, an area man discussed things he has no idea about, like bitcoin. “I have no idea what bitcoin is or why people talk about it,” he said. “I’m a 50- year old man and it’s just something I d...

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Local Man, Billions in Debt, Succeeds in Convincing Bank Manager to Stop Raising Interest Rates by Threatening to Fire Him

Washington - A local man residing on Pennsylvania Avenue, who owns dozens of business entities with billions in loans outstanding, has convinced the manager at a Washington area bank to stop the practice of raising interest rates on the loans to a "n...

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Local man breaks internet

The moon landing. Kennedy's grassy knoll and a book suppository. Cat in a wheelie bin. You all remember where you were when these monumentous news events occurred and the story broke. Years from now, people will be talking about that fateful...

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Wisconsin Resident Angry That Hoia-Baciu Forest In Romania Was Ranked "Second" On Random Website Last Weekend

Platteville, Wisconsin. 39-year-old Craig Harvell threw a massive and profoundly psychotic fit on Friday, April 5th at 11:45 pm when he drunkenly saw a random website that had the Hoia-Baciu Forest in Romania ranked "second" on the list of the Wor...

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Woman Runs Screaming Out Of Building

Grant County, Wisconsin. Terra Kreils, 37, ran screaming out of plant #447 of Wood Manufacturing Products, Inc. last Thursday. Severely traumatized and desperately trying to find solace within the 'essence of her own being' while hugging her knee...

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Local Man Pranked By Wife Over Avatar Movie

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock was viciously pranked by long suffering wife, Anne on Saturday night in their Hampshire home. The Shuttlecocks had been relaxing together, spending quality time by him writing a satirical internet satire article about sock kebabs, under an alias, whilst Anne watched the James Cameron blockbuster epic 'Avatar' in HD with surroundsound. During an idle moment, havi...

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Man's Unwelcome Guest Had Cheapfucker Imitation Bag

In a story published earlier on these pages regarding a man who had to endure an unwanted female houseguest, due to his wife's kindness, I had intended to mention the woman's possessions were stored in a cheapfucker adidas-imitation bag, but I forgot...

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