Brian is still not a knight

Funny story written by Ben Macnair

Sunday, 1 January 2023

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My paperclip collection will never be as well curated as Brian's

Although Brian Asshat has for years been working away at the best methods of curating pencil shavings, and the best way to show off a collection of paper clips, not to mention his work in correcting the grammar of complete strangers on the internet, he is yet to be knighted.

'I can understand the Queen not wanting to knight, after that unpleasantness in the late 1980s, and all of those letters I sent to her, but I thought it might be different with King Charles III. Better luck next year I suppose' said Brian, philosophically.

Brian's neighbour Gary Johnson was recognised in the New Year's Honour List, for his unstinting work in the local community, and for supporting the growth and support of his local football teams, particularly the youth team.

'Of course' said Gary 'it is an honour to be nominated for this award, but the look on Brian's face was priceless when I told him. Can you imagine Brian being knighted though? Sir Brian Asshat, it doesn't have a great ring to it, does it?'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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