William Gaviscon, a 33-year-old from Mithering-on-the-Trent and a former contestant on The Apprentice in 2017 (he came 11th, you won't remember him), has claimed that as a businessman and influencer, he still has much to give to the world and would love to be taken seriously.
The officious little chap said, "On the BBC, I was made to look like a real kipper, a real diva like I knew everything, innit? I do know everything, but it's so woke. A man like me, with good workable ideas about farming, business, wellness, and yoga, should be taken seriously. When is the world going to give a straight white male with charisma and good looks a real chance in the world?"
Sir Alan Sugar simply said, "William Gaviscon? Didn't I fire him once?"
