PICKLE TREE, Ohio – (Satire News) - A woman who walked into a local Walmart totally nude told one of the retail salesclerks that she was going to buy clothes and underwear.
The clerk quickly called the store security guard, since the female was causing a scene due to the ugly-looking industrial cellulite she had all over her suntanned body.
The shopper who would only give her last name (Grabatini) became extremely angry when the security guard threw her against some rolls of Bounty Paper Towels and began to frisk her.
The woman yelled out just about every curse word in the English language and she even threw some out in her native Norwegian.
Finally one of the store’s butchers grabbed the woman and took her back into the butcher section refrigerator so that she could cool off.
When police arrived they refused to arrest her and put her in the squad car because they did not want to get sticky butt sweat all over the backseat of their police car.
Luckily for her she had at least 16 lascivious male shoppers who willingly volunteered to drive her home.