Number 10 To Install Suggestion Box
In a move that many Britons are hailing as “a major step forward”, British Prime Minister Boris Johnson announced, Monday, that, after 'unanimous agreement by the cabinet', that a suggestion box is to be installed outside the gates of Downing Street…
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Lockdown to be enforced on alternate days
The on-off on-off lockdown put in place by the government due to the Coronavirus is set to be scheduled for yet another change, according to reports coming out of Downing Street this morning. All but 'essential workers' were told to "baton down th…
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Is the COVID-19 Vaccine the Mark of the Beast?
It all started with Kanye West. Kanye West, the famous rapper, recently became what is loosely termed a 'Born-Again' Christian. Many Christians were excited because of his large following. His influence is world-wide. In a recent Tweet to his f…
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Extraordinary times call for extraordinary measures - the Man-bun will be culled
Reports of the Man-bun, once the preserve of post pseudo-hipsters (real hipsters wouldn’t be seen dead with one), migrating to the heads of middle-aged men in lockdown, has resulted in ‘Questions in the House’. As barbers and hairdressers return t…
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Painting Shows President Trump And Boris Johnson May Have Been Separated At Birth
There's no disputing it! Whatever evidence anyone comes up with to the contrary, a recent portrait shows that, without the shadow of a doubt, Donald Trump and Boris Johnson are identical twin brothers who must have been separated at birth! The por…
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Boris admits mistakes were made but he’ll do better next time
Earlier today Boris Johnson acknowledged some failings regarding the initial coronavirus press briefings. ‘I do think that, perhaps, with hindsight, I could have taken better expert advice, listened more, and adapted to the situation quicker. On…
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"Over their dead bodies!" Brit buffoon BOJO jokes and has a grand laugh!
Boris Johnson flaunts pregnant girlfriend to distract media
Boris Johnson Meets Barbara Windsor About Dementia, But There Is Confusion Over Which Of The Two Has Been More Severely Affected
First Genetically Engineered Cat Girl Licks Harry Maguire’s Balls
Donald Trump Calls Boris Johnson His Long Lost Poodle
Putin's Dream Team in new Bond movie "From Russia with Love - II"
Carrie On Boris As New PM Stars In Movie Classic
President Trump's Speeches To Be Accompanied By Canned Laughter In TV News Reports
Mandatory face masks in shops causes concern - ‘What’s the problem?’ said Robbie the Robber
Boris Johnson Reveals Brexit Date Was Chosen To Coincide With Jimmy Savile's Birthday
Boris Johnson is Jimmy Savile's love child
London Mayor Boris 'The Blade' Johnson admits 'HS2 is not fit for purpose'.
July Lockdown More Complicated Than Ever
It's finally happened. The expectation that there would be a resurgence of the Covid-19 epidemic has begun, and Prime Minister Boris Johnson has appeared on lunchtime television to announce further confusion for the public. In his well-rehearsed s…
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Christmas To Be Delayed Until Next Year
In what's been described as the craziest plan ever hatched, Prime Minister Boris Johnson has announced that, due to the ongoing worries of a Coronavirus 'second wave', and even more embarrassment over his handling of the pandemic, Christmas in the UK...
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Boris Johnson tackles the current Covid-19 obesity links
Boris Johnson has pointed the country to some alarming statistics regarding the health of the UK. At a Press Conference held at the Lardy Gym in Paisley earlier today, Mr Johnson said, "More than 60% of adults in the UK are overweight or obese ac…
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Dominic Cummings Plays Down His Resemblance To Coronation Street's Pat Phelan
Dominc Cummings, the hatchet man of Prime Minister Boris Johnson, has tried to play down suggestions that he is actually former Coronation Street character, hatchet man, Pat Phelan. Cummings was in the news recently for breaking his own lockdown r...
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Police warn Priti Patel to stop smiling sexily at people
British Home Secretary Priti Patel received a warning from London’s top cop, about her sexy smile and charming personality. The 37-year-old Indian-origin politician, who is the darling of the right of the Tory party, with her tub-thumping policies on...
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Boris Johnson Admits That He Is A Right Cunt
In an extraordinary impromptu press conference held outside 10 Downing Street just minutes ago, Prime Minister Boris Johnson has said that he doesn't want a snap General Election, Britain will leave the EU on 31 October, and that, without any shadow...
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Box Set Britain’s got Box Set Stress - can ‘The Science’ help?
MP’s concerned about box set bingeing are considering a ‘Box Set Bank Holiday’ so people can catch up. Is ‘Box Set Stress’ a real thing, or is it just an excuse to slob around the house all day? Brenda O’Lox who runs a Box Set Stress support group…
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Australia Rejects Trump's Offer of Support
Australia has rejected US President Donald Trump's offer to send help to wombats stricken by the recent bush fires. Following the news of the bush fires, Trump told a press briefing that he had instructed unnamed companies to contact Australia in...
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BoJo and Donnie do the obliteration two-step on the deck of the Grace 1 tanker
In response to Iran's seizure of Britain’s Stena Impero tanker, 19 July, Mr. Johnson and Mr. Trump have taken joint action. Both have been dropped via helicopter onto the deck of Iran’s tanker Grace 1, seized by the British on July 4. This “joi...
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Harry Maguire To Participate In General Election
Harry Maguire, the 26-year-old Manchester United centre-half, who became the costliest defender in the world when he signed for the Old Trafford club from Leicester City, has announced he will stand as an independent candidate against Boris Johnson i...
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Coronavirus Social Distancing Distance Reduced To 4' 6"
In a surprise move, this afternoon, Prime Minister Boris Johnson announced in the Commons that the distance of 6 feet that had been the lower limit at which people should practise 'social distancing', is to be partially reduced, to 4 feet 6 inches fr...
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Toddler savaged by government watchdog
There were calls for changes to The Dangerous Bureaucrats Act last night, after a 3-year-old girl was admitted to Great Ormond Street Hospital suffering from wounds inflicted by a Government Watchdog that had been left free to roam in a London Park.
Read full storyFunny Boris Johnson Headlines
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Boris Johnson Undergoes Secret Diversity Training Before Tory Leadership Challenge
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Boris Johnson Has Fucking Big Row With Girlfriend
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Bozo Johnson Concedes in Tory Leadership Race Citing "Back Problem"
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Boris Johnson 'Victory' Is Really Just A Vote Of 'No Confidence' In Other Tories
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So Boom, Boom Johnson Is About To Be Booted Out As Prime Minister Of The United Kingdom
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Queen Demands The Head Of Boris Johnson
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Boris Johnson Issues Brexit Halloween Trick-Or-Treat Ultimatum
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Man Given Emergency CPR After Swallowing Tory Bullshit
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A nice day out at the castle
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Dominic Cummings Has Disappeared
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Boris Johnson realises they forgot about the equestrian events for the London Olympics
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Boris Johnson: The Book Stops Here!
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Cthulhu wins prominent government role after Boris Johnson's cabinet reshuffle
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Epidemic of panic-buying sweeps Britain
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Eastenders: Queen Vic Given Special Dispensation To Stay Open During Coronavirus Pandemic
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Boris Johnson Euthanasia Plan To Cut Coronavirus Death Toll
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Expert Denounces US and UK Leaders as Coronavirus Crisis Continues
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Jilted John Single Out On May 22
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Boris Johnson to encourage children to return to work
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