Funny story - Box Set Britain’s got Box Set Stress - can ‘The Science’ help?

Box Set Britain’s got Box Set Stress - can ‘The Science’ help?

MP’s concerned about box set bingeing are considering a ‘Box Set Bank Holiday’ so people can catch up. Is ‘Box Set Stress’ a real thing, or is it just an excuse to slob around the house all day? Brenda O’Lox who runs a Box Set Stress support group…

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Funny story - Volunteer For The Vaccine

Volunteer For The Vaccine

Prominent scientists have called for volunteers to be purposely infected with Covid-19 in an attempt to speed up the search for a vaccine. This has caused an outcry from many leading Conservative politicians who have pointed out that their hopeless h…

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Funny story - Mandatory face masks in shops causes concern - ‘What’s the problem?’ said Robbie the Robber

Mandatory face masks in shops causes concern - ‘What’s the problem?’ said Robbie the Robber

Boris Johnson is concerned that his message for everyone to wear masks in shops, banks and post offices may be taken advantage of. ‘Business has been slow,’ said Robbie the Robber, ‘but this idea of Boris’, everyone wearing masks, is great, as no…

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Funny story - Christmas To Be Delayed Until Next Year

Christmas To Be Delayed Until Next Year

In what's been described as the craziest plan ever hatched, Prime Minister Boris Johnson has announced that, due to the ongoing worries of a Coronavirus 'second wave', and even more embarrassment over his handling of the pandemic, Christmas in the UK...

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Funny story - Police warn Priti Patel to stop smiling sexily at people

Police warn Priti Patel to stop smiling sexily at people

British Home Secretary Priti Patel received a warning from London’s top cop, about her sexy smile and charming personality. The 37-year-old Indian-origin politician, who is the darling of the right of the Tory party, with her tub-thumping policies on...

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Funny story - President Trump's Speeches To Be Accompanied By Canned Laughter In TV News Reports

President Trump's Speeches To Be Accompanied By Canned Laughter In TV News Reports

The use of recorded or 'canned' laughter, often employed to encourage studio audience participation, is to be introduced into television news reports that cover the speeches of US president, Donald Trump, it has been revealed. With so much of the…

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Funny story - Chester Zoo to re-open

Chester Zoo to re-open

After several high-profile news items depicting various high street retailers sponsoring the animals at Chester Zoo, the zoo has finally been given the go-ahead to re-open on Monday 15th of June. Iceland have sponsored the penguins, Newcastle Unit...

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Funny story - Boris Johnson: The Book Stops Here!

Boris Johnson: The Book Stops Here!

New Conservative Party leader and prime minister, Boris Johnson, has had to further delay the release of his biography of William Shakespeare, 'The Riddle Of Genius', for reasons as yet unknown, but it may be that its release will be cancelled altoge...

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Funny story - Dominic Cummings Plays Down His Resemblance To Coronation Street's Pat Phelan

Dominic Cummings Plays Down His Resemblance To Coronation Street's Pat Phelan

Dominc Cummings, the hatchet man of Prime Minister Boris Johnson, has tried to play down suggestions that he is actually former Coronation Street character, hatchet man, Pat Phelan. Cummings was in the news recently for breaking his own lockdown r...

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Funny story - There’ll be no return to austerity as PM is concerned people might think he’s a pillock

There’ll be no return to austerity as PM is concerned people might think he’s a pillock

The prime minister will personally take charge of the anti-austerity movement, and will be at the forefront of taking down any statues to those who’ve talked about it, thought about it or heard of it, and specifically those statues that haven’t been…

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Funny story - Boris Johnson Admits That He Is A Right Cunt

Boris Johnson Admits That He Is A Right Cunt

In an extraordinary impromptu press conference held outside 10 Downing Street just minutes ago, Prime Minister Boris Johnson has said that he doesn't want a snap General Election, Britain will leave the EU on 31 October, and that, without any shadow...

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Funny story - Boris's loony plans welcomed by sycophantic press

Boris's loony plans welcomed by sycophantic press

The UK Government announced this week that the HS2 high speed link from London to the north of England will proceed. However, there will be some slight changes from the original plan. In a rambling presentation, Prime Minister Boris Johnson excitedly...

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Funny story - Queen Demands The Head Of Boris Johnson

Queen Demands The Head Of Boris Johnson

There was controversy-upon-controversy in Westminster this morning, when, after the UK Supreme Court ruled that Prime Minister Boris Johnson had acted unlawfully when he asked Her Majesty the Queen, on August 28, to suspend Parliament, the Queen, Her...

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Funny story - Boris Johnson admits gargling with formaldehyde

Boris Johnson admits gargling with formaldehyde

In an astounding double take, Boris Johnson has admitted gargling with formaldehyde in an attempt to keep up with Donald Trump. When asked, outside number 10 this morning, Mr Johnson replied; "It was on sound advice, from Donald, that I give it a...

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Funny story - What is it really like at Eton?

What is it really like at Eton?

Eton has raised twenty Prime Ministers including Boris Johnson. It has produced countless more posh open-mouthed shit-for-brains parasites, and, as such, has played a crucial role in destroying the myth of meritocracy in the UK for centuries. The...

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Funny story - Boris Johnson to encourage children to return to work

Boris Johnson to encourage children to return to work

The UK government this weekend announced changes to nationwide restrictions on movement, while still maintaining the physical distancing rules necessary to limit the spread of coronavirus. In a rambling half-hour speech, Boris Johnson listed as ma...

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Funny story - Man Given Emergency CPR After Swallowing Tory Bullshit

Man Given Emergency CPR After Swallowing Tory Bullshit

A man was recovering in hospital this morning having spent a night under observation, after becoming ill when he got just a little too close to Prime Minister Boris Johnson, who was making a speech on his campaign trail. David Syclops, from Hunsl...

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Funny story - Harry Maguire’s Paper Mache Statue Toppled And Burned By Angry Fans

Harry Maguire’s Paper Mache Statue Toppled And Burned By Angry Fans

BILLINGSGATE POST: What Ole Gunnar Solskjaer said about the toppling of the iconic paper mache statue of Harry Maguire, which had stood outside the confines of Old Trafford since the lockdown, sadly manifested the disappointment for both the travail...

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Funny story - Coronavirus Social Distancing Distance Reduced To 4' 6"

Coronavirus Social Distancing Distance Reduced To 4' 6"

In a surprise move, this afternoon, Prime Minister Boris Johnson announced in the Commons that the distance of 6 feet that had been the lower limit at which people should practise 'social distancing', is to be partially reduced, to 4 feet 6 inches fr...

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Funny story - Racist TV Shows To Make Comeback Under Boris Johnson

Racist TV Shows To Make Comeback Under Boris Johnson

As the Conservative Party leadership race starts to get on your tits, sources inside the party have said that, should Boris Johnson be successful, TV viewers can look forward to a whole swathe of racist and homophobic shows that had been, hitherto, s...

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