London, UK - (Rioters): The UK will have its very own Independence Day the newly-elected PM has said, with British voters heading to the polls on the 4th of July.
“We’re going to destroy the shackles of EU bondage,” Johnson announced at this morning’s press conference, “so it’s bye-bye to the Brussels chain gang and its sordid restraints.”
Johnson’s remarks come as former British Prime Monster Theresa May was papped in a customised NHS straight-jacket at a secure psychiatric facility on the Isle of Dogs.
Spoof reporters covering the story understand that an upcoming mental health tribunal will review a hystery of insanity that propelled the bonkers old cow to think she was God.
A new UK-US Special Relationship is now on the cards.