In an extraordinary impromptu press conference held outside 10 Downing Street just minutes ago, Prime Minister Boris Johnson has said that he doesn't want a snap General Election, Britain will leave the EU on 31 October, and that, without any shadow of a doubt, he is a bit of a daft cunt.
Johnson told the assembled media circus:
"You are a circus. I am a clown. The show must go on. Let's get Brexit done!"
Other politicians suggest, however, that Johnson is playing a game with Britain's future, that he is still likely to call an election, and is ready to lose it to throw the Labour Party under the proverbial bus by losing the vote, and having Jeremy Corbyn struggle to oversee the nightmare that Brexit has become.
The Spoof apologises for any potential misunderstanding caused by our misleading headline.