Floppy haired part-time 'Night-Mayor of London' Morris Johnson today admitted to close friends to a string of errors in the London 2012 Closing Ceremony.
The cloth-eared Mayor, who has continually embarrassed the Capital since wrangling the job from newt lover Kenneth Livingstoned in 2008, accidentally booked the wrong Kate, telling staff to get wafer thin coke head Kate Moss, instead of 70s singing superstar Kate Bush. Staff attempted to cover up the error on the night by downloading a remixed copy of 'Running Up That Hill' by Kate Bush and played it as a group of dancers built a pyramid out of white boxes while highlights of the Games were shown through the stadium.
The Tory Toff was also responsible for the same CD being played twice, as spectators in the stadium and worldwide audiences watching on telly, were treated to repeats of 'Our House, West End Girls and Parklife by Madness, Pet Shop Boys , and Blur respectively.
To top the night off, when the Spicy Girls arrived on stage, the camera's panned to the VIP box to see Morris 'dancing like a dad', which immediately lost host broadcaster BBC 3 million viewers. Hospital A & E reported a surge of patients around the same time complaining of vomiting.
Other Mayoral mishaps include references to wif-waff (ping-pong) at the 2008 Beijing Olympics Closing Ceremony, and more recently during the Olympics , when he got stuck on a zip-wire at Victoria Park in East London, being pelted with tomatoes by local youths just out of jail for rioting in August 2011.
It is not known yet in which capacity Mr Johnson will attend the Rio 2016 Opening Ceremony - as Mayor of London - or Prime Minister of the whole goddam country.
Margaret 'We Are A Grandmother' Thatcher is 94.
