Churchill's speeches increase milk production

Funny story written by Emerick Meriwether

Friday, 17 February 2023

image for Churchill's speeches increase milk production
Winston Churchill's speeches raised the milk production of cows to a new level.

SHROPSHIRE, England – (Satire News) – Pleasant speech increases milk production, a semi-scientific field research proves. In Shropshire, which is the real milk tank of England, a group of ranchers decided to raise their production to a new level.

Alistair Moggs, currently a farmer, formerly a speechwriter for politicians got the idea.
“In my work I had listened to hundreds if not thousands of political speeches. I realized that they affected my emotions and the productivity of my work.”

Moggs concluded that it would be the same with cows. So he let the cows listen to the speeches of various prime ministers and recorded the effects on milk production.

The end result was that Winston Churchill's speeches increased milk production the best. Six prime ministers were included in the sample. Here are the results:

1. Winston Churchill +78 %
2. Harold Wilson +47 %
3. Theresa May +21 %
4. Tony Blair +3
5. Margaret Thatcher -19 %
6. Boris Johnson -55 %

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more