LONDON – (Satire News) – One of England’s leading news agencies, Ta Ta For Now, has broken the story that Prime Minister Boris Johnson has signed off on the UK invading Switzerland.
When asked by TTFN reporter Loretta Piffinshaw why he would attack the most neutral nation in the entire world, Johnson responded by saying that he really has no choice, since due to the chocolate shortage, the British people are having to pay up to 400% what they were paying just a month ago.
He noted that the UK chocolate shortage, which is being blamed on the chocolate-addicted Portuguese Bocanegra Beetles, is causing the nation to have to import chocolate from Hershey, Pennsylvania; Cocoa City, Ireland; and New Switzerland, Sweden.
Meanwhile Queen Elizabeth has chimed in and said that she is blaming the chocolate shortage on the bloody, blooming fog that has engulfed the UK of late, causing the dreaded Portuguese Bocanegra Beetles to eat 24-hours-a-day.
SIDENOTE: The Swiss government has received word of the upcoming British invasion from unnamed Chinese sources, and they have called up their entire national army which is comprised of 114 soldiers, including 29 who are female, and one who is a known-hermaphrodite.
