Harry Maguire To Participate In General Election

Written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 2 September 2019

image for Harry Maguire To Participate In General Election
Harry and his campaign strategist earlier

Harry Maguire, the 26-year-old Manchester United centre-half, who became the costliest defender in the world when he signed for the Old Trafford club from Leicester City, has announced he will stand as an independent candidate against Boris Johnson in any upcoming General Election you might like to mention.

Maguire, who cost United £80million, informed the House of Commons this evening, that he would contest Johnson's constituency seat of Uxbridge and South Ruislip should the prime minister call a snap election. His victory would throw the government into even more chaos than it is already in, and would propel the former Sheffield United and Hull City player into the number 10 Downing Street hotseat quicker than you could say Ole Gunnar Solskjaer.

Maguire, on his first foray into the 'political penalty box', has already come up with a catchy name for his new party - the Maguire Party.

He has a lot of support. 'Debs', on Facebook, said:

"E's laaavley! E'd make a great PM! E's got my vote!"

And 'Janice342', on Twitter, tweeted:

"Harry's such a hunk! I want to have his babies!"

United officials have been slow to comment on Maguire's announcement, but it's thought they may be agreeable, so long as being the UK prime minister doesn't affect his performances on the pitch.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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