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Funny satire stories about Boris Johnson

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Funny story: Coronavirus To Be Charged With High Treason, If Any Of Royal Family, Well, You Know

Coronavirus To Be Charged With High Treason, If Any Of Royal Family, Well, You Know

There's been a grave announcement from Buckingham Palace in the last few minutes, to say that the Coronavirus is to be charged with High Treason. And they're not kidding! The virus originally surfaced in China in January, but, instead of being...

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Funny story: Eastenders: Queen Vic Given Special Dispensation To Stay Open During Coronavirus Pandemic

Eastenders: Queen Vic Given Special Dispensation To Stay Open During Coronavirus Pandemic

Prime Minister Boris Johnson may have spoken to the nation, and laid down the law telling people to stay at home during the Coronavirus crisis, with all pubs and clubs to shut, but, for one public house, in particular, this arrangement will not apply...

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Funny story: Boris Johnson To Meet Coronavirus Leader

Boris Johnson To Meet Coronavirus Leader

You know things are at a critical stage when government leaders offer to meet a virus for negotiations, but that is exactly the announcement that came out of Downing Street this morning, when the British prime minister, Boris Johnson, told members of...

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Funny story: Government to use “herd immunity” principle to immunize people from poverty, by mugging them

Government to use “herd immunity” principle to immunize people from poverty, by mugging them

If you look out through your curtains and see a big, bald, fat bloke with tattoos and a bailiff’s badge on a chain round his neck striding up to your front door, don’t be alarmed. Although he IS probably going to nick your telly and laptop, and smash...

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Funny story: Epidemic of panic-buying sweeps Britain

Epidemic of panic-buying sweeps Britain

Behind the back of a Greggs, a hooded ne'er-do-well is subtly offering his wares to passers-by. "Quilted!" he whispers, "3-ply super-soft." He offers to sell me a twelve-pack of Andrex for £50. I manage to haggle the price down to £40 - I really need...

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Funny story: Johnson converts to Islam

Johnson converts to Islam

In an unexpectedly open display of support for Muslims in Britain, the Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, has converted to Islam. "This should put an end, once and for all, to those doltish claims that Islamophobia is rife in the Conservative party. N...

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Funny story: Boris Johnson flaunts pregnant girlfriend to distract media

Boris Johnson flaunts pregnant girlfriend to distract media

Today's newspapers all feature the same grotesque photograph of the Prime Minister slobbering over his girlfriend Carrie Symonds like a bonobo humping a mannequin. By boasting about impregnating yet another woman in a coordinated press release, h...

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Funny story: Storm Boris sweeps through Europe, causing damage to European Union offices, European Court of Justice and European fishing fleet that was heading to UK waters

Storm Boris sweeps through Europe, causing damage to European Union offices, European Court of Justice and European fishing fleet that was heading to UK waters

Severe weather warnings across Europe have been issued, after high winds were spotted spiralling across the English Channel towards the continent. A weather watcher on the cliffs of Dover said he was able to make out a giant face in the swirling air,...

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Funny story: British government to introduce forced sterilization

British government to introduce forced sterilization

Yes, he's at it again. That fiendish cloak-and-dagger Downing Street elf, Dominic Cummings, almost landed a coup this week in appointing Andrew Sabisky to his team, but the latter's outspoken belief in eugenics, and his bizarre idea of thus improving...

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Funny story: Dominic Cummings announces eugenics programme

Dominic Cummings announces eugenics programme

In perhaps the most controversial announcement yet of Boris Johnson's brief premiership, his chief adviser, Dominic Cummings, has revealed that he is planning a eugenics programme for the people of the UK. Births are to be strictly regulated, with...

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Funny story: Police warn Priti Patel to stop smiling sexily at people

Police warn Priti Patel to stop smiling sexily at people

British Home Secretary Priti Patel received a warning from London’s top cop, about her sexy smile and charming personality. The 37-year-old Indian-origin politician, who is the darling of the right of the Tory party, with her tub-thumping policies on...

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Funny story: Trump And Boris In Huge Transatlantic Cat Fight

Trump And Boris In Huge Transatlantic Cat Fight

Trump’s fighting with everyone. This time, Trump picked a fight with Boris Johnson, and hung up on him. Like, slam, bang, no thank you, man! At first, Boris thought it was a bad connection. “Hello, hello? Donny? Donny, are you there?” First t...

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Funny story: Boris's loony plans welcomed by sycophantic press

Boris's loony plans welcomed by sycophantic press

The UK Government announced this week that the HS2 high speed link from London to the north of England will proceed. However, there will be some slight changes from the original plan. In a rambling presentation, Prime Minister Boris Johnson excitedly...

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Funny story: Stranger who mistakes Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s advisor Dominic Cummings for homeless man and gives him money to buy coffee is escorted off the premises

Stranger who mistakes Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s advisor Dominic Cummings for homeless man and gives him money to buy coffee is escorted off the premises

Prime Minister Johnson’s advisor Dominic Cummings doesn’t dress like other advisors. He long ago swapped a tie and suit for an anorak and beanie hat. He may be the man that all Tory MPs are afraid of, but few members of the public recognise him among...

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Funny story: Cthulhu wins prominent government role after Boris Johnson's cabinet reshuffle

Cthulhu wins prominent government role after Boris Johnson's cabinet reshuffle

The Dark Lord Cthulhu, devourer of souls and destroyer of worlds, has been given a seat in Boris Johnson's cabinet, as Minister without Portfolio, replacing Michael Gove. The Great Old One has no previous experience of government, but has a cult f...

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Funny story: Johnson's Facial Hair Bill trimmed by Lords

Johnson's Facial Hair Bill trimmed by Lords

With Brexit done, Parliament has turned its attention to central questions of British life. Boris Johnson's Facial Hair Bill, however, has been given a short back and sides at the Committee Stage by the House of Lords. "Incomprehensible," moped th...

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Funny story: FibalongaBoris Greatest Hits

FibalongaBoris Greatest Hits

The Prime Minister's debut album, FibalongaBoris, is a quasi-singalong of some of the best lies launched up to now. "I want to make sure the slate's not wiped clean just because people elected me. I am proud of my cunning, and this CD is a sort of...

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