Mick Jagger to run for Parliament
Aging front man for the legendary rock band The Rolling Stones has announced that he will run for a seat in The House of Commons. "I am serious" he told skeptical reporters. "Why, Mick? Why are you doing it" Called out one reporter from the BBC.
Read full storyRight, Royal rumpus over RAF closures
It is reported that HM the Queen is angry that other royals are fighting a rearguard action to save the RAF bases at Kinloss and Lossiemouth on the Moray Firth, Scotland. Philip of Macedoine is reported to have blasted the Secretary of Defence, Li...
Read full storyX-Factor - Mary Byrne Upset With Brazilian Lothario Wagner
It's emerged from sources close to Skoob Entertainment News that former Dublin Tesco check out girl Mary Byrne is extremely upset with Brazilian lothario Wagner, because he didn't actually deny when asked on Saturday's show that he and Mary were 'get...
Read full storyTime is Running Out for the Cathedral
It was revealed today that the glass structured church, the Crystal Cathedral in Garden Grove, California, is in financial trouble and is filing for bankruptcy. Membership and donations had been declining since founder Dr.Robert Schuller retired a...
Read full story8 Ways to Affair-Proof Your Marriage
1. Call your husband every half hour to make sure he's not with a woman. 2. Wear sweatsuits, housecoats, and the most unsexual clothing you have so that your husband knows you've only got eyes for him. If you can, try to gain weight so that other gentlemen don't hit on you and threaten your marriage. (*Don't get too fat, don't be stupid about it) 3. Join a book club. If you're reading a good...
Read full storyCollege student wishes morning classes didn't start so early
Madison, WI -- Jim Ringle wishes morning classes didn't start so early. "I am going to UW-Madison for the partying, not the early classes," Ringle said while sitting in his dark dorm room. It is a common cry of college students that like to e...
Read full storyRepublicans didn't know they needed to make cuts to reduce spending
Washington DC--Republicans were shocked that they might have to cut spending to reduce the budget if they want to extend Bush Tax cuts that they think are so great for our economy. "I know that we have promised a lot of things in the past, and sur...
Read full storyFulgers Coffee Introduces, "Don't Bother Me, Kiss My Ass, I'm Hungover, Morning Coffee!"
Ever get up at eleven AM and crawl your way to the coffee pot in the kitchen and it has Decaf in it? So you crawl back upstairs and get a gun and go after the person who made it? Well, RELAX!!! (BLAM!") (Sorry). Sheeesh. Fulgers has now introduce...
Read full storySnooki: Justin Bieber Fell Off Of Me Twice!
Everyone has a Snooki story these days and now it's Justin Bieber's turn to have ran into the lady from Jersey Shore. "If she's not getting arrested on purpose or causing a person embarrassment on purpose, she's making outlandish statements", stat...
Read full storyMillions of Americans Trapped Below Middle Class without Rescue Plan
Rescuers are busy on a plan to reach millions of Americans who have become trapped somewhere between middle class and lower class without much of a chance of survival. They claim a level of greed several hundred feet thick is separating the trapped A...
Read full storyBlackburn and Sunderland in Bore Score Draw. Surprised?
There were 22 players on the pitch. And not one of them made an impact. In a game which has always brought plenty of excitement, Blackburn and Sunderland were about as effective as the Germans during trench warfare in World War One: effectively...
Read full storyIf The Price is Right
The Chilean miners were recently interviewed by Raul Panzia, of Chile TV, and when asked what was the one they they would all like to do, unanimously they wanted to be on the Price is Right. "We love those Seniorita's and the way they stand with t...
Read full storyGoing to France? Take the Masterchev Guide to France
Five top tips for surviving in France, by Spoof's very own Masterchev. French speaking Taffy Masterchev gave these 5 nuggets of advice as he prepares to go on holiday this week... to Italy. 1) If attempting to speak French, make sure you take a French teacher just to embarrass both of you. 2) If asked to be on a game show, decline quickly. Napoleon's Castle is a baaad idea. 3) When asked...
Read full storyObama To Trade Michelle For A Wildebeest And Common Goat
Dateline Kenya - According to the New York Times Sunday Magazine, Michelle Obama is unhappy with her status as First Lady and also the fact that Barack is spending more quality time on the golf course with his buddies than with her and the two girls.
Read full storyPutins' RIP marriage guidance counsellor promised online video diary shocker
Moscow - (Frozen Ass Mess): Sadly, nobody will now ever know if naked rhythmic contortionist Ms Alina Kabayeva would have been seen performing the Lust Tango in Paris in it. The long expected warts and all expo-say of Ludmila and Vlad 'the Impala...
Read full storyChapter 16: God versus the Gerbils From Hell (A Birdseye View)
Previously............. A group of one hundred Gerbils of Hell stood on one side of the deck. Approximately twenty Spoof writers on the other side. All with weapons. All in a stand-off. Masterchev took a single step forward and aimed his Glock. As he fired the first bullet towards the wall of brown fur, it was Jaggedone's words which struck a chord with me. "So it begins Jean. Welcome to...
Read full storyInter to sign Messi?!
The president of Inter Milan has confirmed that he wants to sign Lionel Messi. Mourinho commented on this and said: "Signing Messi from Barça is like getting me smilling and looking happy. It is also like making Liverpool win a match against Derb...
Read full storyGovernment counter-terrorism strategy to price Al Qaeda off trains with a 10% annual fare hike
Opinion: THE mainstream media today chose to focus on the massive threat the UK faced from Cyber-terrorists, instead of an impressive cornerstone of government policy that will slash the threat from real world terrorism and strengthen government coff...
Read full storyGlastonbury 2012 down the toilet story is a Hoax
The story that Glastonbury 2012 is to be cancelled due to lack of portaloo facilities, has tonight been exposed as a hoax. It is a mis-truth that is believed to have originated with Amy Winehouse, who thought it would be funny to spread the rumour t...
Read full storyPope names Australian Saint following Toffee victory
Tim Cahill, Everton's lucky number 17, has just been declared a Saint of Australia following his cracking first goal which put the Blues ahead of their Red counterparts. Having received a sublime pass from young Coleman, Cahill blasted the ball in...
Read full storyLabour's deputy leader Harriet Harman championed the new Equality Act codes of practice, which mean that School meetings in the evening 'are sexist'.
Quango Land, Britain: The guidelines from the quango, the Equality and Human Rights Commission, explain that the new Equality Act, which was passed just before the election and championed by Labour's Deputy Leader Harriet Harman. If parents' or pub...
Read full storyGay Man Wipes the Shit From his Knob
A Gay man has spent the entire morning wiping his knob with a cloth. Larry Sabu, 20, is furious with his Texan-born neighbour who insists on cleaning his arse on Larry's door knob. "That's the fourth time this week alone", Larry moaned, "I don'...
Read full storyDoctor Who Warned Of Cybermen Attack Says Beware 20/10/2010
London - (Red Alert): A top numerology buff said today that Wednesday's apocalyptic 20/10/2010 date bears all the hallmarks of a planned cybermen attack. Royal Freak Hospital's Professor of Cyberology Dr Einstein Flintstone has warned the governme...
Read full storyNew Mexico Resident Has Gay Fantasy
A Texan who now lives in New Mexico has described a dream he had last night in which he cavorted with a group of sweaty, gay men. The fat man, who wished to be known under the pseudonym 'Roy Orbison', said that he was as surprised as anyone that h...
Read full storyJavier Hernandez gets football speed limit
The English Football Association (F.A) officially announced that Javier 'Chicharito' Hernandez will get football speed limit. This means that he can no longer run 1,000,000,000,000 mph but only 23 mph, which is Usain Bolt's speed. During his chil...
Read full storyBrigitte Bardot To Run Against French President Nicolas Sarkozy In 2012
PARIS - Brigitte Bardot retired from making films in 1973 to become a full time animal rights activist. And in that time she has helped to save the wandering whales off the coast of Wales, the pigskin dolphins off the coast of Miami, and the French f...
Read full storyRAF Pilots to Train on Model Planes
The Ministry of Defence has announced today that, from early next year, the Royal Air Force will be getting rid of all of its aircraft except those used to ferry officers, MPs and minor royals. In a massive cost cutting exercise 327 fixed wing air...
Read full storyRooney to leave Manchester United
Wayne Rooney has confirmed he is to leave Manchester United next summer. In an exclusive interview he said: 'My heart lies elsewhere and so it's not fair on the fans.' Rooney was once a world number one however of late his talents have fallen shor...
Read full storyMiracle Breakthrough
Dr. Sigfreed VanDerfly of the Institute for Diptera Research located in Brussels, near the site of the Langlaglfuer Landfill, recently announced that after many years, had a breakthrough. After all the research, experiments, training and crossbreedin...
Read full storyGod Smotes News Corp. For "Judas Iscariot-Level" Tactics.
While the Alpha and Omega usually steers clear of involving Himself in corporate negotiations (as evidenced by Time-Warner's purchase of AOL in 2000), but News Corp's latest shenanigans with Cablevision customers has pushed Him into action. I Love Sn...
Read full storyRihanna Says She Would Love To Kiss Cheryl Cole Right Smack Dab On Her Lusciously Sexy Lips
SANTA MONICA, California - Rihanna was recently spotted having dinner alone at her favorite restaurant Giorgi Baldi's Grape Vineyard Diner in Santa Monica. She was asked about her recent single entitled "Only Girl In The Whole Wide World Of Sports...
Read full storyJohn W Henry To Sell Liverpool FC Insists Insider
Reports coming in suggest that Boston Red Sox owner John W Henry is to sell his controlling stake in Liverpool Football Club, and is reportedly extremely irate that he appears to have been suckered and sold a dud. Henry, who was at Goodison Park o...
Read full storyTom Hicks: "...an organised conspiracy over many months...", Liverpool "...was swindled away from me in an epic swindle."
This was ANFIELD: Devastated Tom Hicks, the former Liverpool FC co-owner, who has been the victim of a 'conspiracy', has warned that the already protracted saga is not over and voiced his anger at the manner with which he lost control of the club, c...
Read full storyX-Factor Flops Diva Fever And Storm Lee Are Not Bitter
Skoob Entertainment News can reveal that X-Factor rejects Diva Fever and Storm Lee are not in the least bit bitter about being dumped out of the contest on their arses because they have no discernible talent and the public don't like them. At all.
Read full storyGay Man Looks In Mirror And Sees Gay Man Staring Back At Him
A same-sex Texas homosexual had the shock of his sweet life yesterday when he got into an elevator and looked into the mirror, only to find a same-sex Texas homosexual staring right back at him - and it wasn't himself! Larry Sabu, 20, was visiting...
Read full storyFrench genital fingerprinting scheme sees photocopier sales sore (sic)
Paris, France - (Ass Mess): An announcement by France's interior minister recommending new police identification procedures has seen photocopier manufacturers' shares rocket. Brice Hortefeux said today a new plan to combat digital fingerprinting p...
Read full storyFrench petrol stations run dry, par de problem, they still have enough vin rouge!
The French are gradually running out of petrol which is causing slight discomforts in Le Republique. Many French, typical, have decided to abandon their automobiles, jump on Les Bicyclettes and head for the nearest boozer, because wine is stil ava...
Read full storyVegetarian Freaks Out - Orders Bacon Sandwich Then Goes On Meat Binge
Local kebab shop and burger van entrepeneur, Ali Bullo today related how a passing staunch vegetarian lost the plot and ordered a bacon sandwich from a burger van parked by Swanwick railway station in deepest Hampshire. According to reports, the v...
Read full storyChapter 15: Attack of the Gerbils of Hell
Two days at sea can do wonders to a guy. Captain Morse was a decent fella, I reflected as I examined myself against the choppy waters of the endless ocean. I noticed how different my reflection was: a few scars gave me a more violent edge than I used to have. We'd all pitched in. Skoob had been promoted to the Best Man position, which seemed to be holding up his gerbil flu. Sure, he still sc...
Read full storyWayne Rooney Romantically Linked To Sir Alex Ferguson's Wife?
Rumours are tonight circulating that Wayne Rooney could have played his last game for Manchester United after the striker was alleged to have been romantically involved with manager Sir Alex Ferguson's wife, Cathy. It's thought that Rooney may hav...
Read full storyX Factor romance cools
Mary 'I'll fight yer for yer bike' Byrne (62) today denied any talk of romance between her and Wagner (41). Byrne who was once a door to door seller of pegs is now bookies favourite to win the show but denies Wagner has been 'taming her shrew.' '...
Read full storyJordan - Alex "£40.40 Euromillions" Reid revenge
Following last weeks revelations that Alex Reid, minnion husband of big titted Jordan, had won the Euromillions jackpot and dumped his "fishlips" missus, she has bounced back to give the actual story on how crossdresser husband "Roxanne" had "fucked...
Read full storyWayne Rooney Real Madrid Latest
Manchester United and England striker Wayne Rooney could be on his way to Spanish giants Real Madrid in the January transfer window, if a bloke on a bus I was on today is to be believed. Rooney, 24, whose current contract expires in 2012, has appa...
Read full storyRobbie Williams - I (nearly) quit
Robbie 'Ooooo look at me everybody' Williams today revealed how he almost quit pop before rejoining boy band Take That. Robbie explained how he was just going through the motions each day. 'Ya know how it goes, get up about one'ish, snort a lin...
Read full storyCelery reduces memory loss
A taste for celery is one that many people never acquire, but scientists have just given them a reason to eat it. They have discovered that a chemical found in high concentrations in celery - and in peppers - could halt memory loss as we get older...
Read full storyX Factor's Cheryl Cole Denies Secretly Taking English lessons as Simon Cowell Plans to Make Her a Big Star Stateside.
Simon Cowell's wing woman has been secretly taking English lessons as part of his plan to help her crack the American market, an insider has revealed. Cheryl has denied the claim, saying it was a lord of rubbish and norbidy is teaching her anything,...
Read full storyWhy Britain has become less windy
Flags hang more limply, kites are struggling to get aloft and the washing takes a little longer to dry. According to an astonishing new study, Britain has got noticeably less windy over the last few decades. The reason behind this is due to a dra...
Read full storyGeorge Michael turned me gay
Little Geordie lad and x factor champ Joe McElderry has given The Spoof a full and frank about how George Michael turned him gay. We're not sure whether it was a twinkle or a tear in his eye, but Joe McElderry maintains that until his duet with si...
Read full storySimon chose wrong song - Diva Fever
After their shock exit from X Factor one time bookies favourites Diva Fever (69) are laying the blame firmly at Simon's door. They believe it was his choice of song that led to them getting booted off on Sunday. Craig Saggers, one half of the Diva...
Read full story"I Shagged Katie Waissel Off The X-Factor And She Wasn't All That" Claims Rochdale Man
In yet another salacious Skoob Entertainment News exclusive, we can reveal that unemployed Rochdale man, Luke Pissquick claims to have shagged X-Factor fame junkie Katie Waissel, and added that she wasn't all that. Pissquick explained that he met...
Read full storySpoof web site causes illness
Boston, Massachusetts. Scientists from Harvard University have uncovered a new physical malaise affecting all correspondents to popular web site TheSpoof.com. The condition manifests itself as a facial tick and also includes spasmodic tremors of...
Read full storyChilean Miner to admit 'it was an experiment'
The ambiguity behind the Chilean mining story is not yet over. However, Chile yields a new approver each day. The latest confession came from a 27 years old miner that shed light on the complexity of the whole story. 'We have been test subject...
Read full storyMary Byrne And Cher Lloyd Deny Nude X-Factor Lesbian Romp With Katie Waissel
Hot on the heels of rumours that X-Factor wannabe, Katie Waissel has been getting down n dirty with fellow contestant Matt Cardle - rumours Matt strenuously denied - insiders say that Cher Lloyd and Mary Byrne have also denied having a nude XXX Rated...
Read full storyThe Dallas Cowboys Lose To The Minnesota Vikings and Drop To (1-4) - Owner Jerry Jones Says "I've Run Out Of Non-Football Folks To Blame"
BLOOMINGTON, Minnesota - The Dallas Cowboys, who feel that they are still Super Bowl bound, lost their fourth game of the season at the hands of the Minnesota Vikings, who were led by their 58-year-old ailing quarterback Brett "The Relic" Favre. T...
Read full storyAlicia Keys has a baby.... country
Congratulations have come flooding in for singer Alicia Keys and husband Swizz Beatz following the birth of their first child. When asked about the sex of the child, they brought out a globe and proudly pointed out Egypt - they had conceived and s...
Read full storyHalo 3 is so realistic it is being used to train soldiers
The latest version of hit X-Box war simulation, Halo, has been given the ultimate accreditation, the British army are to use it to train new soldiers. In the wake of massive budget cuts, the normal training procedures for raw recruits is to be scr...
Read full storyRob Pattinson and Emma Watson secretly dating?
Few people realise that Emma Watson, better known as Hermione Granger from Harry Potter, and Rob Pattinson, better known as the blood sucking hearthrob from Twilight, actually went to school together, the Tower House school in London. Both Watson...
Read full storySuBo fanatics claim Chilean mine success!
Deluded red scarf wearing Susan Boyle fanatics today claimed the Chilean mine rescue was all their doing. "When they were found the first thing they asked for wasn't food or water," said a chief fanatic. "No, they asked for a SuBo CD and we made s...
Read full story"Go! Nads! Go! Nads!" Thousands of Feminists Scream at BOP Voter Rally!
As Michele Bachmann, Christine O'Donnell, and Sarah Palin (BOP) took the stage yesterday in the second day of their: BOP Get Out the Vote Tour, thousands of feminists screamed, Go! Nads! Go! Nads! as the three women shadow boxed around the stage.
Read full storyMicrosoft Launches Inferior iPad Imitation
Redmond, WA--Today Microsoft Corporation announced the launch of it's electronic tablet device the xPad. Replete with all the features and functionality that has made Microsoft a synonym for "inferior" the xPad is intended to compete with Apple's wil...
Read full storyBolivian Waxing Mogul Wakes Up With Hair Across His Arse!
Colonel Juan Bolivar III earned his millions the hard way, one curly pubic hair at a time! The eccentric entrepreneur started with only one waxing stand in a remote village in the hills of Bolivia, but his technique proved so popular, his talents be...
Read full storyGay Man's Purple Helmet Scares Local Children And Their Mums
A gay man from Fort Worth has been accused of frightening local children with his purple helmet. Larry Sabu, 20, allegedly scared the tots as young as 3 years old, when he visited the Abel Rodriguez children's park in the city, for a go on the sli...
Read full storyLocal man chokes on cheesy balls.
A local man is recovering from a near death experience today following a home accident involving cheesy ball shaped corn snacks. The incident took place on the sofa in his sitting room while he was enjoying an afternoon munch. According to his gi...
Read full storyPope scores first goal as Man Citeh win
The Pope scored a stunning goal in the win over Blackpool. Last month we reported how the Vatican Supremo had recently signed a luxurious 4 year deal with Manchester Citeh. Well he's just gone and scored a cracking goal against Blackpool, who were...
Read full storyKatie Waissel's Next Gambit: She's Russian Royal!
Determined X Factor scrapper Katie Waissel is set to shock the show's fans again with a fantastic revelation that she hopes will win her bigger votes. She managed to pull off a major coup last weekend by revealing stories that she slept with fello...
Read full storyLiverpool thrashed by Everton
It was a day nobody would forget. New owners. A new start in Liverpool history. And a game at Goodison Park to kick-start the new season. Just a shame nobody told the players. Typically, Hodgson had chosen all the right players in all the wr...
Read full storySpending Review: Your Guide
With the Government's much-heralded Spending Review just days away, Economics editor, Oliver Pillbox, presents his guide to Osborne's plans. It is very clear that Ozzy and Sharon have recognised that the family finances need to be overhauled. W...
Read full storyUS full of leaks over Iraq war and is sinking fast!
The US are about to be put too the sword by leakages being published on the internet over their pathetic attempt to tame Iraq and secure their oil fields at the same time (that was successful, the taming not). Leaked documents will appear on a Swe...
Read full storyPentagon claim Wikileaks lifted 400,000 Iraq war documents from spoof website
"My eyes just popped out when I got a preview of the documents on wikileaks, I could find no basis of fact to them reported on FOX, CNN, Reuters or BBC. So I decided to do a quick google and the only source of the documents was a from a website c...
Read full storyEnjoying worldwide recognition Chile decided to trap more men underground
Riding on a wave of success the Chilean president had been warmly welcomed in London, where he admitted that his country was content with publicity created by the successful miners' rescue mission. "Chilean people feel very proud. We are happy to...
Read full storyJustin Bieber Pleads Innocent To Laser Tag Assault Charges
RICHMOND, British Columbia, Canada - Justin Bieber has pleaded innocent to charges that he assaulted a 12-year-old boy during a game of laser tag at The Interplanetary Laser World Arcade. Bieber says that he was minding his own business when the b...
Read full storySuffering From Writer's Block, Amadinejad Seeks Options
Iranian President Mahmoud Amadinejad is reportedly suffering from a severe case of writer's block. Sources close to Amadinejad say that he's been unable to formulate baseless arguments against, pen damaging mischaracterizations about or assail the re...
Read full storyPhiladelphia Eagles Defeat Atlanta Falcons, Not That Anyone In New Jersey Could Watch It.
The Philadelphia Eagles defeated the Atlanta Falcons today, 31-17, snapping Atlanta's four game winning streak. Not that anyone in New Jersey got to watch it. Indeed, more than three million television viewers in New York and New Jersey missed...
Read full storyKim Kardashian Says Her Naked Posing Days Are Over
HOLLYWOOD - Kim Kardashian recently posed in the nude in W Magazine. The famous member of the Kardashian sisters says that she wanted to get her 'nude posing' out before her 30th birthday, (Oct. 21, 2010). Kim said that she feels self-conscious, e...
Read full storyKat Von D is Dumping Jesse James?
WEST HOLLYWOOD - It appears that the happy relationship between Sandra Bullock's ex-husband Jesse James and Nikki Stix's ex-girlfriend Kat Von D may have hit a brick wall. An inside source who has known Kat back when she only had 17 tattoos says t...
Read full storyGay Man Gives Young Boys Advice About Paedophile Groomers
A gay man in Texas has been praised for his efforts in working with local children who have suffered various forms of abuse from paedophile groomers on the internet. Larry Sabu, 20, started working with the children three months ago, and has alrea...
Read full storyStrictly Come Dancing - Peter Andre A Worse Lip Syncher Than Cheryl Cole
Sunday Evening - The UK - The X-Factor live elimination round may have caught the public's imagination, but SEN supremo Buffty Ginslinger reckons that the award for performance of the evening went to Strictly Come Dancing, and Peter Andre's singing s...
Read full storyX-Factor - Gay Backlash Over Diva Fever Elimination
Fury among the gay community in the UK today, after duo Diva Fever were eliminated from the X-Factor. Most people actually didn't give a toss, according to research carried out on behalf of Skoob Entertainment News, but the gay community apparentl...
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