Written by Bureau

Monday, 18 October 2010

image for Fulgers Coffee Introduces, "Don't Bother Me, Kiss My Ass, I'm Hungover, Morning Coffee!"

Ever get up at eleven AM and crawl your way to the coffee pot in the kitchen and it has Decaf in it? So you crawl back upstairs and get a gun and go after the person who made it?

Well, RELAX!!! (BLAM!") (Sorry). Sheeesh. Fulgers has now introduced a new coffee that is in perfect 25-cup packages that you add 25 cups of water into their own special coffee pot and right away you're able to at least lift up one eyebrow or not have to grab your head at some loudly passed gas!

(Note: Get everything ready made BEFORE you go on the binge! Then you'll only spend 15 minutes attempting to get a shaking finger to hit a red button.)

Plus, there's a free puke bucket you can place on the floor directly beside the table with every $100 order.

Not only that, the package includes earplugs and a small shot of bourbon.

The whole package is now being offered on LATE NIGHT TELEVISION COMMERCIALS!!

But please, don't watch the commercials until you have completely sobered up.

(This Company is not responsible for any blown away TV sets should you watch the commercials with a hangover.)

Copyright Fulgers Coffee, 2010.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Coffee




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