Written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 18 October 2010

image for Wayne Rooney Real Madrid Latest
Can Rooney learn to speak Spanish?

Manchester United and England striker Wayne Rooney could be on his way to Spanish giants Real Madrid in the January transfer window, if a bloke on a bus I was on today is to be believed.

Rooney, 24, whose current contract expires in 2012, has apparently refused to sign a new one, giving rise to speculation in the Thai capital of Bangkok that he could be on his way to the Bernabeu to join former team-mate Cristiano Ronaldo.

The man I was telling you about on the 524 told the passenger sitting next to him:

"I hear that Wayne Rooney isn't going to sign a new contract for Manchester United, and could well be on his way to Real Madrid in the January transfer window."

The person sitting next to him, a woman who looked about 93, said nothing.

If Rooney does go to the Bernabeu, he will face the problem of learning to speak Spanis, something that may prove difficult, as he can barely speak English.

It would, however, be a fitting place for the former Everton player to go, as the Spanish giant's anagram-friendly name suggests: In many Reds supporters' opinions, Rooney is:

Real Mad - Rid!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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