Written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 18 October 2010

image for Wayne Rooney Romantically Linked To Sir Alex Ferguson's Wife?
Hand this to Steve Bruce, will ye?

Rumours are tonight circulating that Wayne Rooney could have played his last game for Manchester United after the striker was alleged to have been romantically involved with manager Sir Alex Ferguson's wife, Cathy.

It's thought that Rooney may have paid several visits to the Wilmslow home of Sir Alex, during which he may - or may not - with his penchant for grandmas, have shagged Lady Ferguson daft.

Rooney was recently reported to have spent time with Bolton prostitute Jennifer Thompson, and these latest allegations are almost certain to bring the curtain down on his flagging Old Trafford career.

Sunderland manager Steve Bruce, a former United player under Sir Alex, and a man who always looks like he has been in a fight with a switchblade razor, voiced his support for Rooney when he said:

""We all know Wayne Rooney is a fantastic footballer and it's the first time in his career he's had this little sort of blip. Make no mistake, he'll be back - he's our best talent in this country and it's about time we tried to protect him and look after him, even if he has been shagging Lady Ferguson. Have y'got a plaster?"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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