A Texan who now lives in New Mexico has described a dream he had last night in which he cavorted with a group of sweaty, gay men.
The fat man, who wished to be known under the pseudonym 'Roy Orbison', said that he was as surprised as anyone that he had such gay thoughts.
In his dream, 'Roy' said he was in a sauna with Larry Sabu, 20, and three other leather-clad, moustachioed men in studded thongs.
"Frankie Goes to Hollywood was playing on the radio and the throbbing beat of 'Relax' just seemed to make me unwind and give in to these men's gay advances", 'Roy' shrugged.
Soon he was writhing around, buck naked, on the aptly named shag carpet.
"In real life I am terribly homophobic. Maybe I had repressed gay feelings that just needed to be let out. Or maybe I just ate a bad jalapeño pepper before bed....", he pondered.