Paris, France - (Ass Mess): An announcement by France's interior minister recommending new police identification procedures has seen photocopier manufacturers' shares rocket.
Brice Hortefeux said today a new plan to combat digital fingerprinting problems would see mugshots and thumbprints replaced with traditional orifice Xmas party games 'such as genital fingerprinting'.
Although some technical aspects of implementation are 'still in their infancy' Hortefeux was satisfied that the gendarmerie 'could start on gipsy paedos' any day now.
Last month President Sarkozy expelled thousands of pikey Romas after they had their fingerprints surgically removed, their DNA professionally altered and their retina prints changed via groundbreaking optical laser treatment.
The new ID procedures would replace discredited former techniques which, Hortefeux said, are unlikely to see those pesky Romas rush to alter via surgical alternations.
"Nobody eez going to cut zere nutz off to escape zee loe," the minister commented confidently.
Carla Bruni is 69.