101010 Cult Still Waiting
Members of the 101010 cult who had gathered in southern Canada and were expecting to be "rescured" yesterday at 10 past 10, on the 10th of the 10th 2010 are considering their options seeing as the expected rescue has so far failed to materialise.Read full story
Have the Coalition been rumbled?
As the day of reckoning approaches for the Coalition, it is reported that Prison Governors fear that their prisons may be emptied. With October 20th, aka "Big Cut day, vive the Big Society" the blackest day for the ordinary UK citizen since their...Read full story
Russian spy Anna Chapman hired by Vatican Bank
Rome - (Sod's Banker Mess): Accomplished KGB money launderer Anya Kushchenko had been headhunted by the Holy See slush fund ever since her topless pics surfaced on the internet. Opus Dei honchos told the Pope she'd be good for morale among the cle...Read full story
Erin Andrews Claims She Never Received Nude Pix of Brett Farve and Threatens to Sue Her Internet Provider!
Erin Andrews, ESPN's Keyhole Kutie, reacted today when she found out that apparently she was the only female sideline analyst that hadn't received pictures of Brett Farve's Privates on her Cell Phone! "I think it's outrageous," she said vehemently...Read full story
British justice saves the day by molly-coddling yobs! Evil teenage thugs who tortured helpless autistic boy for 17 days released by judge because they "said sorry"
The evidence was there for all to see. A gang of 3 evil teens - used a mobile phone to film themselves carrying out depraved assaults on their 17-year-old autistic victim - who suffers from Asperger's syndrome. In a sickening spree of violence the...Read full story
EU & UN Security Council Debate Fate of Isle of Wight: New Palestinian State?
With peace talks failing, bombs continuing to go off, the Clintons' bogged down in trying to divvy up the spoils from an outpouring of money for the Haiti boondoggle and Jimmy Carter campaigning to move up to #9 in the "Ten Worst President List", t...Read full story
Cowboy Cheerleaders Help Us Beat Dallas!
Coach Jeff Fisher of the Tennessee Titans has given a lot of credit for Sunday's upset of the Dallas Cowboys to their world-renowned cheerleaders. "The game was close all the way and as usual half of us on the visiting team's bench were watching...Read full story
Miley Cyrus "Who Owns My Ass?" Video Banned
Miley Cyrus has ran into the "Parents Television Council" who have voted that her latest video, "Who Owns My Ass?" too sexual for most young viewers. "My goodness", stated Anne Fischer, head of the parents group. "She's in bed squirming like a ni...Read full story
Taylor Lautner Gets Out Restraining Order To Keep Adam Lambert Away!
After having Adam Lambert pop up at several locations where he usually hangs out, Taylor Lautner has had his attorney go before a judge who has ordered a restraining order to keep Lambert from following Lautner everywhere. "I hated to do it", Laut...Read full story
World's Largest McDonalds to be built on 9/11 site
Americans all over America rejoice! The controversy surrounding plans to build a huge mosque on the former World Trade Centre site have been settled. They're going to build a MacDonalds there instead. Fans of the fast food restaurant (everyone...Read full story
Dave TV from 2372 being received by LHC!
Scientists working on the Large Hardon collider got a surprise when their machine created a wormhole that allowed a full days worth of the television channel Dave to come through. "We were very shocked," said Hardon engineer, Ben Downes. "Our TV s...Read full story
Dallas Cowboys Quarterback Tony Romo To Ask Owner Jerry Jones If Maybe He Should Start Dating Jessica Simpson Again
DALLAS - A dejected Tony Romo sat all alone in the Dallas Cowboys locker room. It was now midnight and all of the players, coaches, cheerleaders, and hot dog vendors had all long since gone home after the Cowboys has suffered their third loss in four...Read full story
New Peril for Chilean Miners
The ordeal of the thirty three Chilean miners trapped underground for over two months is not yet over. There is the journey to the surface and the dangers involved with that but another peril, unreported for some reason, is the media frenzy that awai...Read full story
Prince Poppycock and Rush Limbaugh Spotted At A Jack-In-The-Box In San Francisco
SAN FRANCISCO - GOP conservative radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh, who makes $50 million a year, was seen having lunch at a local Jack-in-The-Box with one of this years finalists on America's Got Talent, Prince Poppycock. Melvin Doodlemist, who...Read full story
The recession hits funerals in the UK, coffins are now being dropped instead of lowered, it saves time!
The recession is biting the UK very hard and the latest cut-backs are hitting those companies involved in the "dead end" business, funeral services. The latest cut-backs involve getting the coffin as quick as possible into the hole, this saves tim...Read full story
New owners of Liverpool FC demand that the club must be renamed!
Billionaire bidders lining up to buy one of England's most famous "footy" clubs are in solidarity about one thing, the name Liverpool FC must go! Liverpool, Scousers, Wayne Rooney, Ringo Starr, Granny Shaggers and Gerry & the Pacemakers (he ne...Read full story
Fuzzy Navel Inventor Says "It's Not Just a Clever Name"
Horace Lintmeyer, inventor of some of the world's most memorable boutique cocktails including the Rusty Nail and the Fuzzy Navel, says the names of those popular drinks were actually derived from real life events. Interviewed as part of the BBC's...Read full story
Gay Dogs get Better Grades in School
A recent study that appeared in the prestigious Grimsby Journal of Science has shown that gay dogs perform better in exams than other animals. In the tests, a heterosexual horse, mouse, cat and duck were placed in a room with a gay dog and asked t...Read full story
Dancing With The Stars: The Jersey Shore's Michael "The Situation" Sorrentino Says The Reason He Wasn't Doing Too Good Was Because His Shoes Were Too Tight
HOLLYWOOD - After performing on two episodes of Dancing With The Stars, one of the stars of The Jersey Shore, Michael "The Situation" Sorrentino has finally confided that the reason he has not been doing too good is because his dancing shoes are much...Read full story
Gay Religious Services Become New Trend
More and more gay people are creating their own religions. Larry Sabu, 20, is just one of dozens of proud gay men who have dedicated their spare time to converting their sheds into gay temples to a gay Jesus Christ Our Lord and Saviour. "I thin...Read full story
Gay Man Announces Plan to Adopt Handsome Young Boy
Gay man Larry Sabu, 20, says the time has come for him to become a family man. He tells us that he is on the look out for a troubled cute teenage boy - preferably from Texas - to raise as his own. "I want to take him out to all the teenage gay clu...Read full story
American Families Forced to Stay in Foreclosed Homes Against Will
Many of the largest banks in America, including the Bank of America, not to be confused with the Other Bank of America, have been forcing most of their customers, who have not been paying on their mortgages for months, to remain living in their homes...Read full story
England Footballers To Have "Gang Bang" Before Euro 2012 Qualifier
England coach Fabio Capello has confirmed in a statement this afternoon that his players are to warm-up for their Euro 2012 qualifying match with Montenegro at Wembley on Tuesday with a Roman-style orgy, involving all the players' wives and girlfrien...Read full story
Gay Soldiers "Dominate British Army"
A survey published today shows that an overwhelming number of soldiers in the British Army are either gay, or are 'not quite sure' about their sexuality. The survey, carried out in Iraq and Afghanistan between 2007 and 2009, revealed that, out of...Read full story
Miley Cyrus' Dad, Billy Ray Cyrus Defends Her 'Sexualized Video' As Being "A Darn Right Nice Video"
MISSOULA, Montana - Billy Ray Cyrus was in Montana participating in The 47th Annual Missoula Mountain Oyster Eating Contest, which he won in 2003 and 2008. He was asked about all of the controversy concerning his daughter Miley's latest music vide...Read full story
Disaster as Red Sludge Attacks Italy
The 1920s saw the introduction of the Red Scare in Europe, as Communism spread from Russia and threatened to engulf everything short of a small town roughly the size of an average Walmart. Now it's the fear of Red Sludge which is breaking out acro...Read full story
Barack Obama blamed for Tea party's underwear disaster
The Tea Party's underwear related problems continue to cause concern amongst its members, as it was announced today that Sarah Palin had accidentally put her panties on inside out. This incident is only the latest in a string of underwear problems...Read full story
OASIS Bar & Grille Under Investigation
The popular food and beverage establishment that by all critical accounts, has replaced Planet Bollywood as the fastest growing restaurant franchise (with entertainment) in the world, is now under investigation for reportedly featuring protected anim...Read full story
Queen to charge 'up to £5 million appearance fee' for all new public engagements
London - (Dependency Culture Mess): A new royal tariff is being published today amid reports the Queen is to start charging for official ribbon-cutting ceremonies. The announcement comes amid government austerity proposals to cut 25% off royal ben...Read full story
Rolf Harris create new Simpson's intro
Octogenarian, Antipodean artist Rolf Harris has created a controversial title sequence for long-running US animation The Simpsons. The intro, which was shown in the US on Sunday, opens with the Didgeridoo loving Rolf slapping paint randomly on to...Read full story
Queen's massage artiste says 'naked' celebrities ran amok the QE2
Southampton - (Bare Cheek Mess): "Naked as the day they were born," retired nonagerian massage artiste Bunty Kneadman said today, "and running starkers all over the poop deck!" The ship's former osteopath/naturopath/psychopath was speaking today a...Read full story
San Francisco McDonald's Shifts Focus from Food to Toys
With the recent call of progressive groups in San Francisco demanding that McDonald's no longer be allowed to include a toy with every happy meal, the company has shifted focus away from food and has come up with what they believe is a perfect compro...Read full story
George Michael Prison Break Latest
Police say high-profile singer George Michael, who was sentenced to eight weeks in prison for 'drug driving' just four weeks ago, has escaped from the maximum security unit in which he was being held, but also that they won't be bothering to do anyth...Read full story
Small Percentage of Voters Age 18-22 Voting for Obama in 2010
In a recent poll, results of which are due out today or tomorrow, conducted by the Campus R-U-Ready-2-Vote Semi-Official Campus Poll indicates that approximately 26% of all college students across the country believe that President Obama's presidenti...Read full story
Vatican Claims UFOs to Blame for Much of Church Scandal
An official report from the Vatican released on 10-10-10 puportedly shows evidence that there were several sightings and/or abductions during the last half of this decade centered solely around the Vatican and a direct link to other-worldly beings.Read full story
Inflatable Russian Weapons 'No Threat To Security.'
Latest Russian attempts to make huge savings on military expenditure have been dismissed as "no threat" by a NATO expert. In the latest cost-cutting scheme the Russians have built a large range of inflatable miltary decoys - from tanks to entire r...Read full story
"Pear-shaped" Genes Uncovered
Parts of our DNA that influence body shape - including the classic "apple" or "pear" shapes in women - have been revealed by scientists. Using super-powerful electron microscopes, the boffins have identified the 13 genes - which seem to have a gre...Read full story
Queen To Reveal Football Preference At Launch: She's A Pompey Fan!
The Queen is to launch Cunard's latest Queen Elizabeth liner at Southampton today in a ceremony during which she is also likely to reveal a long-kept secret. She will tell the crowds at the dockside that she is a life-long Portsmouth fan and that...Read full story
BBC Guide To Spotting Upset Licence Payers
BBC licence fee collectors have been advised to be wary of customers using words like "shambles" and "useless" - they might be complaining about the broadcaster's service! The advice comes in a new "idiot's guide" for the collectors. It highlig...Read full story
Masterchef "Pro" exposed as Michellin Tyred Chef
A contestant on the current series of Masterchef Professionals due to be shown tonight has been exposed as 2 Michellin Tyre owning Apple Von Creampie. Von Creampie, who will be shown being sent home after the first round by resident Sous Wench, Mo...Read full story
Scandalous hospital car parking charges
NHS hospitals have taken advantage of the government scrapping its plans to dispense with car parking charges. In some cases, individual hospitals have increased parking charges by as much as 150%. One such example is St Moribund's Hospital, which...Read full story
Cheryl Cole's Bizarre Orange Tan Result Of "Friends" Accident
Cheryl Cole's bizarre orange appearance on this weekend's X Factor has been blamed on an accident straight out of American sitcom Friends. The popular Geordie, at the centre of judging controversy over Zimbabwean songstress Gamu, was so orange tha...Read full story
Rooney Breaks Football's Unwritten Rule
The truth behind the England team's disappointing summer World Cup capitulation can be revealed today as reports circulate that Wayne Rooney has been knobbing ex-captain John Terry's mum for months. The alleged affair was going on even before Terr...Read full story
Gazza Stopped by Cops - Blows a (WPC) Amber
Shocking news from Her Maj's Police Constabulary this morning reveals that former footballer Paul "Gazza" Crapgroin was pulled over by police while using the latest Sunnyspoons drive-through pub over the weekend. As Mr Crapgroin pulled away from...Read full story
Simon Cowell Woken Up By UKBA
A Press Release from prominant Government department the UK Borders Agency has revealed that far from X-Factor hopeful Gamu being deported from the UK, she is currently on leave to appeal over who she really is. The tactfully worded release by the...Read full story
Where have all the Frenchmen gone? The Wenger effect.
Taking a lovely walk on the banks of the River Rhine in Strasbourg, it is hard not to notice that there is an absence of one thing in particular. Frenchmen. Round these parts, somebody only has to kick a ball a good three yards before an Arsena...Read full story
Virgin flies to where no man has been before
He's flown to America, Asia, Australia and probably the North Poles. He's recently developed a rocket which will take him to the moon. Now Richard Branson is going where no Virgin Plane has ever gone before. A million people (Approximately o...Read full story
'Whore' Meg Whitmann Offended by Comparison to California Gubernatorial Candidate
(Skanksville, California) - Meretrix "Meg" Whitmann, the prostitute, has demanded a public apology for the slanderous use of her name in the midst of a heated race for California Governor between Democrat Jerry Brown and Republican Meg Whiteman.Read full story
Eagles Beat The NFL's Sh-ttiest Team. By 3 Points.
The team that everyone has decided was NFL's worst team --ever-- was beaten by the Kevin Kolb-led Philadelphia Eagles. By a whopping three f--king points. "The sideline argument between (49ers coach) Mike Singletary and (world's second-sh-tties...Read full story
Florida Lemur Mistakenly Placed on Ballot as Libertarian Candidate
Florida election officials in the small town of Myakka City are scratching their heads over the apparent practical joke being played on them that now has them in a quandary as to how to remedy the situation. A lemur known as Mister E. Mann is listed...Read full story
Justin Bieber To Put Out His Very Own Designer Nail Polish Line
HOLLYWOOD - Justin Bieber's mom, Patti Lynn Mallette has verified that her son in association with the Nicolette Fingernail Polish Corporation will be putting out a designer line of nail polish to be called Justin Bieber's Designer Polished Nail Poli...Read full story
Six-Year Old Aspires to Be County Maintenance Worker One Day
By the time they reach first grade, young boys and girls have probably been asked dozens of times the age-old question, "what do you want to be when you grow up?" The standard answers are almost always fireman, policeman, cowboy, nurse, Madonna.Read full story
"I Love My Government" Says George Soros
WASHINGTON, DC - George Soros gave a surprising endorsement of Washington, DC politics during an interview concerning the weak condition of the American economy. Instead of being critical of the Democrat-controlled Congress and Executive Branch, he u...Read full story
Rochdale property prices boom after release of new job figures
Newly released government job figures have led to a huge rise in people seeking to live in Rochdale. Houses are being purchased quicker than the local council can demolish them, to make way for new low cost housing. The government figures driving...Read full story
The Dallas Cowboys Lose To The Tennessee Titans, Owner Jerry Jones Is Now Blaming Mrs. Jerry Jones
DALLAS - The Dallas Cowboys, who have been picked by many of the nation's sportswriters to win this years Super Bowl, have fallen to a record of 1-3, after losing in Cowboy Stadium to the Tennessee Titans 34-27. In the past Cowboys' owner Jerry Jo...Read full story
49ers Coach Mike Singletary Laughs at Kevin Kolb During Pregame Interview
49ers Head Coach Mike Singletary will never make a living saying Pollyanna-nice things about others. He's just too honest. DID YOU KNOW?? Angus T. Jones makes $300,000 per episode of Two and a Half Men, making him the highest paid child star on te...Read full story
Suspects in The Spoof Publishing Offices Robbery Apprehended
London UK: Scotland Yard is reporting that the two women who forced their way into the editorial offices of The Spoof have been taken into custody along with a third woman, the getaway car driver. The thieves had made off with dossiers of all the spo...Read full story
Brian Westbrook Suffers Spontaneous Concussion Before First Play Against Eagles
It is being called the strangest medical anomaly since , as former Eagles running back Brian Westbrook --in his first game as a 49er against the Eagles-- suffered what doctors are calling a "spontaneous concussion". DID YOU KNOW?? Brian Westbrook...Read full story
What Is Pornography? Supreme Court Rules Once Again!
Once again the United States Supreme Court has handed down it's latest ruling on what is the definition of pornography. The court had waited until their latest supreme came aboard in Judge Kagan. According to the latest ruling: Pornography is '...Read full story
Obama Credits Open Border Policy for Reducing Debt as 58 M Denied Cost of Living Allowance Increase!
Vowing to take charge of the faltering economy after 20 months in office, and just 3 weeks before Obamanomics is expected to be repudiated in the mid term elections, Obama took credit for denying millions of retired Americans a Cost of Living Allowa...Read full story
Brett Favre Sending Dirty Photos To Model Investigated
The NFL has reported that it is reviewing reports involving Minnesota Vikings quarterback Brett Favre after the sports Web site Deadspin posted naked pictures, text and voice messages it alleges the married quarterback sent to a model and former tele...Read full story