Taylor Momsen -Cindy Lou Who From 'Grinch' Movie- Flashes Her Underage T-ts Onstage.
Remember Cindy Lou Who, the cute little blonde girl who brought a quiet charm and grace to the role in 2000's 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas', the Ron Howard-directed movie featuring Jim Carrey as the Grinch? If you are like most people, you thou...
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X-factor Cher Lloyd and Katie Waissel at War over Hair Stylist
Cher Lloyd and Katie Waissel are believed to be at war tonight after Cher stole Katie's hair dresser. A bitter war of words has broken out and Katie is believed to have said "Cher's welcome to him, he's rubbish" The hairdresser in question is no...
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Rush Limbaugh's Wife Says Farts Coming Between Them!
59-year-old Kathryn Rogers, Rush Limbaugh's fourth bride has moved from their shared bedroom to another in their house in Florida. "I couldn't stay in there any longer', Kathryn told 'The West Coast Post'. "I'd wake up in the night from a blast an...
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Taylor Lautner Planning Revenge On Robert Pattinson, Adam Lambert
After taking quite a bit of joking recently for growing a beard and mustache, Robert Pattinson decided he would get back at Taylor Lautner and "accidentally" give out the news that Taylor might be gay. "Two can play at that game", stated Pattinson...
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Kim Jong-Il to Head Obama's Death Panel
High level presidential anonymous sources have leaked that President Obama, in an effort to improve ties between the United States and North Korea, will extend an olive branch to the supreme leader of the rogue state. Political analysts...
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Dennis Kucinich Says Latest Abduction By Aliens Confirms They'd Vote for Obama If Granted Immunity!
Dennis Kucinich, the 14 year Ohio Democratic Congressman who claims he has had more than one close encounter with Aliens, said his latest conference with intergalactic visitors was just last weekend during a camping trip! Kucinich who first repo...
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Sandra "The Kissing Bandit" Bullock Says She Wants To Kiss Ex-New York Jets Reporter Jenn Sterger So Bad She Can Taste It!
AUSTIN - Sandra Bullock talking from her Austin mansion confided to a reporter for Tinsel Town Bi-Weekly Magazine that ever since she first laid eyes on Jenn Sterger during a Jets game broadcast that she has wanted to grab her, hold her in her arms,...
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Brad Childress Spending Monday Working on Resume
Minneapolis, MN--Brad Childress told reporters after the game on Sunday night that he was going to work on his resume. "I really sold my soul to the devil this time. I wanted Favre to play one more year, but little did I know he was going to thro...
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O'Donnell: "No More Separation of Church & Steak!"
It was billed as a major policy statement by the Republican candidate for the US Senate in Delaware, Christine O'Donnell. Several thousands of her supporters were there as well as the national media. Ms. O'Donnell took the stage with a resolute look...
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Ines Sainz Reportedly Secretly Dating Dallas Cowboys Owner Jerry Jones
DALLAS - For the past week the word on the streets of Dallas is that Jerry Jones, the owner of the Dallas Cowboys, who have started off the 2010-2011 football season with a record of (1-4), is secretly dating Mexico's infamously sexy sports reporter...
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Fab Cap's Kneecap Bro
England boss, Fabio Capello's brother Nutterio Capello, a key member of the Italy Torture Mafia known as the Italy Torture Mafia, was last night arrested by well-known Italian detective, PCio Plodio, on suspicion of whipping a creditor to death with...
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Wayne Rooney Death Threats Thwarted As Striker Is Given New Identity
Police investigating the death threats made against Manchester United and England striker Wayne Rooney, say that the player is being protected day and night from angry fans, and will shortly be flown to Geneva for plastic surgery, after which he will...
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Mel Gibson Speaks about Immigration
Hollywood, CA--I am mad as hell about the immigration issues in the United States. I can't believe that a country of free people don't want freedom for everyone, and that a country of free people would want to stop immigration. I am talking about the United States and their desire to close the borders. What is really wrong with a person seeking prosperity in a country that has a lot to...
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Obama Afraid of Voters
Washington D.C.--President Obama has flown all over the United States to campaign for Democrats running for election this year. His hope is to keep both the House and the Senate, but that hope seems to be fading fast. "I just don't think the Amer...
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Wayne Rooney: "Erm, I Was Only Joking!"
Wayne Rooney, the Manchester United and England striker, has admitted for the first time that his childish and petulant outburst in the media last week, and his subsequent refusal to sign a new contract, were staged exclusively for public consumption...
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Heidi Montag and Oksana Grigorieva To Pose Nude In a Girl-On-Girl Photo Layout In PlayGuy
CHICAGO - Mel Gibson's ex-former girlfriend and ex-future wife Oksana Grigorieva says that she is not going to wait around for Mel from hell to cough up money which is owed to her and their baby. The Russian born pianist has consulted with the edi...
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Karzai Likes Lots of Cash
Kabul, Afghanistan-- President Hamid Karzai admitted to taking cash from the Iranians, because he likes to have extra cash on hand. "You never know when you are going to have an emergency, and a lot of places in Afghanistan only accept cash. Yes,...
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Justice Scalia Book Review: Jonathan Franzen's 'Freedom'
Washington D.C.--I was excited to hear Jonathan Franzen was coming out with a new novel. As a Supreme Court justice you don't have a lot of time to read as many good books as you like. I blame that mostly on the fact I do a lot of speaking engagements because of my fame, but I'm not much on bragging. I will say that I was disappointed in the new novel because of Franzen's effort to take on...
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Russian Spy Anna Chapman Naked For Mag Shoot Is Not Her Says Putin!
In a photo provided by Maximski Russian edition magazine, the front cover of Novermber 2010 issue of the magazine shows what appears to be Anna Chapman posing with a gun. However, former president and spy Vladimir Putin says the photo is a fake ex...
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Aliens visit Rotherham, Yorkshire, their Navi system broke down!
An alien spaceship was spotted flying over the pristine blue skies of (no not the Bahamas or Dubai, Rooney spotting or even the Malideven) Rotherham, Yorkshire, UK! Two Yorkshire lads spotted the spaceship and immediately sent their photo's throug...
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Latest Hollywood Hype: James Cameron remaking Little House on the Prairie in stereoscopic 3-D
Director James Cameron expects to complete his latest project sometime within the next ten years. "I wrote the story based on technology that doesn't even exist yet," said Cameron from a yurt located on the outskirts of Independence, Kansas. The...
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Shock: Cheryl Mimes On Pre-Recorded Live TV Show
Cheryl Cole, or Tweedy or whatever she is this week, rather unsensationally mimed to a song that was pre-recorded before going out 'live' on X-Factor. The new single was to be performed by the X-Factor judge live on the results show. But bosses de...
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Neil Peart Plays Drums While On Fire!
Recently Rush drummer, Neil Peart proved himself worthy again, playing drums on Fire. Neil Peart was thrown into the sun, and continue to play drums even after his body and drum kit was incinerated in the flames. "I'm so glad Neil did this, a...
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UK male patients waiting for a cyst operation in Manchester are warned, you could lose a testicle or 2 too (OUCH!)
Male patients in the greater Manchester area waiting for a cyst to be removed around the genital areas are being warned, make sure the surgeon is not Jordanian! Jordanian surgeons working in UK hospitals have developed strange habits whilst operat...
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Mel Gibson's Meltdown Timer Ticks Away
Reportedly furious after losing his role to Liam Neeson in the sequel to "Hangover", and learning of ex-girlfriend Oksana's offer to appear in Playboyz Magazine, Mel Gibson's personality time bomb is about to explode. Neighbors of Gibson as far as...
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Hamid Karzai Has Fingers in Everybody's Pocket
Admitting to press earlier this past Monday, representatives of the Afghanistan government under President Karzai, report receiving money from the Iranian government. Referred to as "transparent financial aid" and received in the form of cash, Karza...
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Jessica Simpson seen with Famous Author in London
On the eve of what is touted to be the world's most sought after drinking competition championship, Jessica Simpson was seen cavorting with PM Wortham, a depraved and lascivious hack satirical writer, at the Oasis Bar & Grille in London. Appar...
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Italian seaside resort bans mini-skirts but tight tanga's and bare breasts are OK, Bella!
In a slight rush of hypocrisy and over zealous Christian values the Italian seaside resort, Castellammare di Stabia, has banned mini-skirts, building sandcastles (?), snogging in cars, feeding stray "pussies" and the wearing of wooden clogs(?). "S...
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Clinton Oxford Days Confession: "I wanted to Play for Man U And Get Laid!"
In a shocking revelation, excepts from a new Clinton Tell all Memoir scheduled to be published after his death, Bill claims : If I wasn't so fat, educated, and from Arkansas, I woulda signed with Man U in 1968!" In the memoir, in which the former...
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Bitte
When giving directions, we are advised to be simple and clear. The inquirer thanks and we depart. What happens next we are not so sure. However, we are told that some people have poor navigation skills such as the following quoted story:: I was touring Europe in a rented car. It was early in the morning when I reached Munich. Actually, I had driven the car in many European cities simply by...
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Hobbit Movie: Kiwis Rally Behind NZ Shoot
New Zealanders have hit the streets in an extraordinary show of support for the Hobbit movie which is due to start shooting in the country next year. Thousands of Kiwis came out in protest at suggestions that filming might have to go elsewhere fol...
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'He Doth Stride the World like a Colossus': Obama's Royal Indian Junket Leaves Huge Carbon Footprint!
As Michelle packs for the family junket to India, emptying out the White House Walk In Closets, Indian Economists are rubbing their hands in glee as Barry, fresh off his trashing of corporate spending in the US, prepares to single handedly increase I...
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Illuminati rapture as 'missing' crystal skull found in Sir David Attenborough's garden!
London - (Artefux): Since the dawn of time the billion year-old amethyst skull has nestled under the foundations of the TV pundit's back side - er...yard! This weekend the London Abasement Company's builders were gobsmacked when a mystery object u...
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Travel Guide: Blackpool
The Las Vegas of the North. A Mecca for bingo players the length and breadth of the nation. There are many descriptions of this section of the English coastline, but none come close to the actuality that is Blackpool. On the face of it, this Victorian seaside resort has everything. During the summer months, there is a mile of golden sandy beach, a fairground to rival the theme parks, more touri...
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Rooney Training for the Olympics
Football star Wayne Rooney is establishng a second career for himself. He is setting out to be a member of England's swimming team for the 2012 Olympics. Aided by his new coach, THOUGHT TO BE HIS WIFE, Wayne has had secret training sessions in Dub...
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Chicharito's Head "Back to Front"
Manchester United striker Javier Hernandez has revealed the secret of his baffling goal against Stoke, which was apparently scored with the back of his head. It turns out the Mexican international, known as Chicharito - which translates as "the li...
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All airline passengers to wear flight suits from now on
Aviation authorities the world over have come together and unanimously agreed that no one will be allowed to wear their own clothes on any flights, anywhere, effective immediately. Following on from previous security related flying restriction lik...
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Romanian Children Found Working in Magical Forest
Seven Romanian children between the ages of nine and sixteen have been found working in a magical forest in Worcestershire. The children were discovered by the Gangmasters Licensing Authority (GLA), who described the situation as 'disturbingly qui...
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Katie Waissel Goes Spare Over Liquorice
X Factor diva Katie Waissel's pre-show tantrum on Saturday was all over a piece of candy. Previous reports suggested that the pop wannabe went ballistic when she learned that a former boyfriend revealed details of their stormy relationship. Gar...
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Museums Face Closure Over "Offences"
Museums are removing human skull and skeleton displays and covering up mummies for fear of insulting minority religious groups. And now museum chiefs are warning that the institutions face complete closure as they will have nothing to show. Pro...
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Six In Ten Live In Fear Of Energy Bills
Thousands of pensioners are terrified of their gas and elctricity bills following reports of unprovoked assaults. The first case was reported last January when Mr Pulcifer Threadknockit, of Norwich, was seriously injured by his bill from Eastern E...
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Ozzy Osbourne is a Neanderthal
Scientists who have been studying metal maniac Ozzy Osbourne's DNA, have today announced that, as suspected by many, he is ,in fact, a Neanderthal. Test results have concluded that 94% of his DNA is Neanderthal. The remaining 6% being of early West M...
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Top Ten Signs Tax Dollars Are Being Wasted
10. Your state employees drive around in Lexus and Mercedes Benz 9. The grass outside the local courthouse is AstroTurf 8. A war in an oil rich country leads to higher prices at the gas pump 7. Your city parks also have free roller coaster rides 6. Politicians use federal planes for family vacations 5. Oil Companies can cause ecological hazards and right it off as a loss, so they do...
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Favre Looked Like He Did When He Played for the Packers
Green Bay, WI--Brett Favre came out the second half of the game against his former team, and threw the ball to them three times. "I haven't returned a Brett Favre pass for a touchdown since my first training camp in Green Bay," Desmond Bishop, a...
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S&P Reduces Credit Rating of H&R Block to "Foreclosed Subprime Borrower"
Standard & Poor's Ratings Services has lowered H&R Block Inc.'s credit rating to "Foreclosed Subprime Borrower", because the tax preparer has lost access to refund anticipation loans for the fiscal 2011 tax season. Refund anticipation loan...
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Japan Invents The Fastest Opening Beer Can In The World
OSAKA, Japan - The Fuji Fuji Oopsy Beer Company of Osaka has just introduced the new FFO-7000 Easy Opening Beer Can. Japanese research scientists worked for five months perfecting the new beer can which can be opened up to 2.3 seconds quicker than...
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Former Teammate Steve McNair Refuses To Endorse Jon Runyan For Congress
3rd District Republican Congressional candidate Jon Runyan prides himself on his ability to protect those in his care, just like how he protected NFL quarterbacks, as a lineman for the Oilers, Eagles and Chargers. There's no such thing as karma...
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Mel Gibson Making B-Porn to Keep Acting Career Afloat?
Mel Gibson, after recently being fired from yet another cameo appearance before even setting foot on the set, has decided to turn his love of the BJ into gold. "I've had enough of their BS," Gibson said of the directors who are cow towing to their st...
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Russell Brand Is So Happy That Katy Perry Is Finally His Wife That He Has Just Bought Her Lake Erie
CLEVELAND - After waiting and waiting for what seemed like an eternity Russell Brand can now finally call Katy Perry, Mrs. Russell Brand, or even Katy Brand. Brand reportedly told his hairdresser that he has never been happier except maybe for the...
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Jon Runyan Is Running for Congress... Seriously? That Can't Be True... Let Me Just Look It...Holy Sh-t, It's True.
Keyport, NJ--- Former Eagles Offensive lineman Jon Runyan is running for Congress as the Republican nominee for New Jersey's 3rd congressional district. Runyan is a former offensive lineman with the Oilers, Philadelphia Eagles and San Diego Char...
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Maher Mauled by "Mama Grizzlies" after Christine O'Donnell Comments
LOS ANGELES (AP) Bill Maher, political satirist and host of HBO's Real Time program was attacked and seriously injured by five angry female grizzly bears yesterday. According to a spokesperson at an area hospital, Maher remains in serious but stable...
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Jay Cutler and D'Angelo Hall Replace Montana/Rice as NFL's Best QB/Receiver Tandem Ever
Jay Cutler and D'Angelo Hall Replace Montana/Rice as NFL's Best QB/Receiver Tandem Ever. Sealing their place in history with a stellar 4 reception performance in Chicago, the tandem of Jay Cutler and D'Angelo Hall have been named the NFL's best, p...
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Juan Williams Now Reveals He's Afraid To Eat Muslim Food
NEW YORK CITY - Juan Williams, sitting behind his brand new desk at Fox News reportedly confided to Nate Bigginstiller, a janitor, that not only is he afraid when he sees Muslims on an airplane, but that he is also scared of eating Muslim food as wel...
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Justin Bieber To Guest Star On 'The Wizards of Waverly Place'
LOS ANGELES - Justin Bieber, who has been in sharp demand throughout television land as of late, has just announced that he will be guest starring on the Disney Channel show The Wizards of Waverly Place. Bieber will portray Noel McStuffskin, an ex...
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