Little Geordie lad and x factor champ Joe McElderry has given The Spoof a full and frank about how George Michael turned him gay.
We're not sure whether it was a twinkle or a tear in his eye, but Joe McElderry maintains that until his duet with singer George Michael in the x factor live finals, he had no gay tendancies at all, and had in fact dipped his little todge in a few local lasses and "kinda liked it y'know"
George Michael had allgedly guaranteed McElderry the winners post by getting all his rich gay pals to spend millions bulk voting for him to make sure he won - all in return for a poke on Joe's pert peachy bum. "I were definitely the tekker and not the giver to start with yer know" said McElderry "but as our relationship kinda blossomed, he let me poke me little todge in his back door and, well, yer know, it all happened from there, it brings a whole new meaning to once you've slipped it in the back door, the front door just isn't appealing anymore, like yer know"
George Michael was unavailable for comment today as he was taking a trip to tesco's as he'd just ran out of his daily 5 litre bottle of cider