New Signs Installed at Stadium
After many complaints from fans, the Board of Directors of the Stadium have agreed on designating certain strategically located Rest Rooms for those who "have to go really bad." Stadium Security have gone through extensive training and will be on...Read full story
UK Government Law Proposal Angers Paedophiles
The government have proposed to implement a 'child ban' throughout the whole of England and Wales. Current laws mean that children can freely roam the streets, live in houses and flats, attend schools, play on swings and generally be a temptation to...Read full story
Barney Frank's Pecker Puffer Heckles GOP Rival
Jim Ready, Barney Frank's current pecker puffer, was caught heckling Sean Bielet, the GOP candidate running against Barney, after a debate in Brighton, Massachusetts. Mr. Ready, who has gone steady with the Congressman for the past few years, spoke...Read full story
The Glazers ruining another football club
This club is Liverpool F.C! You might be surprised that the new Liverpool owner is actually a cousin to the hated Manchester United owners. Yes, he lied that his family name was 'Henry'. Well actually, it's no real surprise that they are cousins, con...Read full story
England Fires Nuke At Scotland, Wrapped In A Submarine
Despite a massive attempt to cover it up, the UN has confirmed that England fired a nuclear warhead at fellow United Kingdomite Scotland, and tried to hide it by wrapping the nuke in a submarine. "England has succeeded in committing an act of cowa...Read full story
Euromillions winners to remain anonymous
The winners of the £113 million Euromillions prize have finally come forward to claim their money. The winners are believed to be a syndicate of four men, who do not wish their identities to be revealed in case people insist they buy them presents.Read full story
Grounded nuclear sub was eavesdropping on Scottish Nationalists
Isle of Skye - (Stuxnet Mess): "And their South Ronaldsay satanic abuse scandal separatist feminist lesbian partners!" an Admiralty source chuckled today as a flaccid HMS Astute limped back to port. Designed to sit in a puddle without attracting r...Read full story
TheSpoof.com "Random Story" button causes rapid-fire computer trading, shutting down U.S. stock market
(New York, NY) - "Market crashed again. Damn! Thought we had things fixed, but apparently not." These words were immediately tweeted by Duncan Niederauer (NYSE Euronext CEO) following Friday's abrupt system shutdown. Although "circuit breakers"...Read full story
Brett Favre's Tiny Purple Helmet Of Fate Now In The NFL's Hands
Minnesota Vikings quarterback Brett Favre, known this year for throwing picks and sexting d--ks, has had the mushroomed shaped purple helmet of fate taken out of his hands, and placed in the hands of NFL Commissioner Roger (snicker) Goodell. The N...Read full story
Nooks Arrive at Wal-Mart; Greeters Panic
Nooks, Barnes & Noble's electronic readers, will be available for sale at 2500 Wal-Mart stores beginning Sunday. As they started arriving in the stores today, Nooks expected enthusiastic greetings. Not so. In many locations, they were sadly d...Read full story
Lindsay Lohan Complains that Rehab, Not Flaming Drug Addiction, Is Ruining Her Career
Lindsay Lohan, who is such a f--k-up sh-tstorm generator that her admitted lesbianism wasn't even newsworthy, told her probation officer that continued, inpatient treatment would be a hardship financially, and damaging to her what's left of her caree...Read full story
Age Defying Cream Flop
Global chemical giant Splurge Inc has withdrawn its QN7 age defying cream from sale in western countries. QN7 first went on sale in 2004 and was said to be the world's first cream that actually made people younger. Hollywood stars were the first t...Read full story
Lindsay Lohan Released From Rehab, Already Stoned.
Lindsay Lohan, released today in preparation for tomorrow's court appearance, is already stoned off her ass, claims paparazzi waiting to photograph her and sell the images to Inside Edition for $500 a pop. Dear Lindsay Lohan: Stay clean and enjoy...Read full story
Justin Bieber And Nina Dobrev Serious"
After seeing these two together for the past few weeks, fans of each are wondering if this is serious. "We enjoy each others company", stated Justin Bieber in an article in Friday's magazine section of The West Coast Post. "We've found out that we...Read full story
Escaped Chimp Flips His Sh-t, Eats Cop Car.
The world's baddest-assed chimpanzee --a 300 pounder named Sueko-- flipped his sh-t, broke free of its chains, and terrorized downtown Kansas City, MO, finally being caught as it ate an entire police cruiser. DID YOU KNOW?? That Network, the 197...Read full story
Into The Semi-Wild- A Noble Alaskan Experiment
This is a record of a noble experiment conducted by me, rfreed. With this journal I will record my experiences of the next month over Christmas vacation during which time I will be alone in a cabin in the woods outside of Fairbanks, Alaska. In this period I will pursue the purifying of my mind and spirit as can only happen in true solitude and quiet. I hope in this time to break down the many wall...Read full story
Sexy Italian female teacher banned from teaching, female parents prefer a Catholic priest?
A stunning, beautiful, but very kinky, Italian female teacher has been banned from teaching further until it's proven that she has put her past career "behind" her, starring in kinky, sexy films! Parents are outraged at the Catholic school in Mila...Read full story
X - Factor Aiden Grimshaw to perform This Charming Man
The popular male X - Factor contestant, Aiden Grimshaw, is set to perform The Smiths, "This Charming Man" in an upcoming live instalment of the show. He will be accompanied by his cousins, Jason and Todd, from Coronation Street and has been pester...Read full story
Brett Favre To Play Green Bay Packers Without Helmet!
Tough guy quarterback, Brett Favre, says he will play this weekend's game against the Green Bay Peckers...Packers without wearing a helmet. "I challenge the Green Bay linebackers not to wear a helmet also. Are you man enough for that, big boys?"...Read full story
Nuclear Subo Marine accident brings end to R&D of new weapons plant in Scotland
Ministry of Defence officials have decided to halt plans for nuclear powered automatons that would have been able to sing like Susan Boyle, as a form of sonic warfare, intended to lull the enemy into a restful sleep, before blowing the crap out of th...Read full story
Pakistan will fight Taliban but need another $2bn
The Pakistani government have agreed to launch an all out attack on the Taliban camped in their own back yard, provided the Americans pay another $2bn in aid. This is in addition to the $7.5bn already on its way to Pakistan for the continued fight...Read full story
Monica Mint and Chloe Mafia To Record The Elton John Song, "Come Over Here And Sit On My Facebook"
LONDON - Two of England's most well known females, Monica Mint and Chloe Mafia, have decided to enter the recording studio and record a song that was written by Sir Elton John. The M & M duo first met John at a local Lady Laura's Land of Fish...Read full story
Wayne Rooney Really Sorry - Oh, That's All Right Then
So, Wayne Rooney has signed a five year contract at Manchester United, apologised to the manager and his team mates for being a prick, and is expected within the next few hours to issue a grovelling apology to United fans. So that's all right then...Read full story
Rooney replacement, Gazza, gets "nicked" for possessing drugs!
Sir Alex was hoping to shock the world by firstly flogging R****y (who?) and then asking Gazza to come out of retirement as his replacement!! Initially Sir Alex begged Mon dieu, Messr. Cantona to come back to Utd, lose some weight, train hard and...Read full story
GM Volt: Obama's Edsel Proves More Hype than Hope!
Government Motors (GM) and new CEO Barry Obama promised great things for the Chevy Volt including 232 miles per gallon (mpg), thousands of 'meaningful' green jobs, lowering of the Great Lakes, and the lifting of smog over Los Angeles. HE LIED! W...Read full story
Will Tony Romo Play Against Giants Monday Night?
Monday's NFL game between the Dallas Cowboys and the New York Giants is a must win for the Cowboys. So why is Tony Romo thinking about skipping the game? Was he injured in last weekend's action against the Minnesota Vikings? Brad Hampton, a spoke...Read full story
Miley Cyrus Says She Is Planning On Marrying Her Ex-Boyfriend Liam Hemsworth
BEVERLY HILLS - Miley Cyrus' bass guitarist has stated that Miley confided to him that she has missed being with her ex-boyfriend Liam Hemsworth so much that she wants to marry him as soon as possible. The bass guitarist, who did not want to divul...Read full story
Skye islanders eat seamen
Emergency services were alerted by radio from the troubled nuclear submersible HMS Astute this morning, but soon after all contact with the submarine crew was lost. Upon approaching the stricken vessel it was noticed that it was listing with no on...Read full story
Rooney in U-Turn shock!
In an amazing U-turn - Wayne Rooney has decided to stay in Manchester for another five years. This just two days after the 24-year-old hitman claimed " the city's failure to attract world-class prostitutes to Old Trafford area prompted his dec...Read full story
Fair Progress Regresses
As an economic guru of world renown, I felt a need to discuss the recent financial statement from the Chancellor of the Excheques with the man himself. 'There seems to be some disagreemment, George, on whether your financial measures are progressi...Read full story
Human Hay Bale Averts Much More Serious Accidents
A Bellvue, Washington man has an interesting hobby that just happens to save people's lives. "When I'm not at work as a rocket scientist," said Dwight Flight, I'm out on the freeways looking for errant vehicles and stopping them with my own. In fact,...Read full story
Rooney Stays Put - "Just 'Avin A Laff!"
The whole will he-won't he saga was a gag, after all. Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney today shocked the entire universe by signing a five-year contract with the club. The move came at the end of a week during which he had publicly said h...Read full story
Shock as Rooney Signs 5 year Deal with Man U and Rest of Team Quits in Protest!
In a late breaking news with all the facts not in, reports have surfaced that petulant potato faced Wayne Rooney has signed a new 5 year contract with Manchester United. A teary eyed Colleen, his wife and child hood sweetheart, said the sudden ch...Read full story
Pulitzer Winning Author Eats Shula's 48 Ounce Porterhouse
According to just about anyone who would listen to the man, the myth, the legend of Spoof writing author, PM Wortham, they report that the author did accomplish the monstrous task of consuming Shula's Steakhouse famous 48 ounce Porterhouse. Initia...Read full story
Oxymoron Society Updates List for 2010
Adding to approved oxymoronically focused phrases which have included commonly used terms like, Metal Woods, Jumbo Shrimp, and Military Intelligence, the International Oxymoron Society has updated its list for 2010. New additions to the IOS oxymo...Read full story
French Praised for Demonstrating Initiative in Labor Protest
Widely known for being anything but ambitious, motivated or industrious, The French are receiving high praise for their recent protest initiative on the streets of Paris and other major cities. "Not since World War II, have I seen this much organ...Read full story
Bieber Cuts Bangs, Millions of Girls Take Ill
Shocking news from Hollywood yesterday afternoon, as Justin Bieber, in an attempt to take on an older look, changed his famous sweeping, bang-covering hairstyle. Seen on the streets moments after a visit to his favorite hairstylist in Marina Del-R...Read full story
Croc blamed for plane crash
Details have emerged today about a plane crash over the Congo. The sole survivor of the plane has told investigators about a 'stow away' croc escaped his confines and ran amuck on the small plane causing it to crash into a house. Mr Morgan Fortun...Read full story
Cher Lloyd: "I Can Take Anything That They Want To Throw At Me"
Cher Lloyd, stroppy stick insect from the X-Factor, has sensationally challenged her detractors by stating she has toughened up, and can now "take anything that's thrown at me!" Lining up for the first throw is Daniel Brigstock, 37, an umemployed...Read full story
Gazza arrested for Rooney. 'I did it for you, mate'
Troubled former footie star, Paul Gascoigne has been arrested on suspicion of possessing drugs. Northumbria Police confirmed a 43-year-old man had been arrested for possession of a class A drug. A statement was released by a bloke down the pub reg...Read full story
Wayne Rooney on the rocks
It is reported, on the wires that a UK nuclear submarine, equipped with every high tech system known to man is grounded on rocks off the Isle of Skye, Western Isles, Scotland. A source, close to the Ministry of Defence in London, has disclosed tha...Read full story
Stuxnet sinks Royal Navy's HMS Astute flagship sub
Isle of Skye - (Pie-in-the-Sky Mess): Fears that the Stuxnet virus may have sunk the latest and most sophisticated British nuclear submarine have shaken the MoD. The billion pound attack stealth vessel was last seen listing badly off Scottish terr...Read full story
Nuclear submarine sent wrong way by SatNav
The worlds most advanced nuclear-powered submarine, the ironically named HMS Astute, has run aground off the coast of Scotchlandshire, the Ministry of Defence confirmed due to a perfectly working Satnav. Apparently, they typed in the postcode of a...Read full story
George Michael in Nuclear Submarine Driving Accident
Public toilet-frequenting pop star George Michael is in trouble with authorities again, after yet another driving accident. However, this one was whilst at the helm of a nuclear submarine. The Careless Whisper singer has only just been released e...Read full story
Katie Waissel Collapses In Topshop
Katie Waissel, hated pop-tart and X-Factor fungus, collapsed whilst getting free stuff given to her in Topshop, yesterday. The starlet-to-be, with as much dress sense as a blind parrot, was browsing around the London store, which had been opened e...Read full story
Saturday's Hunter's Moon 'a massive threat to breast implants'
London - (YouBoob! Mess): The annual Hunter's Moon this Saturday could play havoc with silicon implants and inflatable boobies scientists warned today. Lunar nocturnal emissions during last year's Taurus full moon had been bad enough, the Astrolog...Read full story
NATO stripped Clinton of nuke codes during Lewinsky impeachment
Washington AC/DC - (Mushroom Cloud Mess): The covert NATO operation saw Presidential nuclear launch codes confiscated on Special Counsel Ken Starr's advice, a new book published this week claims. Clinton had been threatening to 'blow the whole god...Read full story
Royal Freak Hospital withheld Dr David Kelly psychiatric files
London - (Catheters): Was anti-paranoia medication regularly administered to UN WMD inspectors such as Dr David Kelly in the run up to the Iraq war? "It wasn't the weapons search team that was barking," Royal Freak Hospital Professor of Hallucino...Read full story
Mel Gibson dropped from movies
Once upon a time he was the talk of the town, receiving accolades and awards, now he is still the talk of the town but its more kind of "Blimey, that Mel Gibsons a bit of an nutter, isnt he?" or "have you heard what old mad Max Mel the mad man is bei...Read full story
Rooney's future in the hands of his mother-in-law
In an intriguing insight into the world of Wayne Rooney, it has emerged that it is his mother-in-law, Colette, who holds court and reigns supreme. Forget Sir Alex Ferguson and Rooney's agent, they are mere bystanders in the drama which is unfolding;...Read full story
Shopping Channel Host Disaster
Celia Whassaname, the face of shopping channel QED, has been struck down by a rare medical condition, rideiotis. She has been hospitalised while cosmetic surgeons attempt to fix the problem. "It is quite a serious condition," said doctor Noel Tuck...Read full story
Rider Mowers Retrofitted to Include Beer Can Holders
Makers of several popular brands of rider mowers are jumping on the band wagon and retrofitting their most popular models with dual beer can holders to accommodate the beverages of the users of their products. The reason for this change in design...Read full story
Ramones Rejects Plan Album, Tour
The world is set to rock again to the sounds of Sheena Is A Punk Rocker and Blitzkrieg Bop thanks to four ageing leather-clad rockers. A new album, set for release next month, features four musicians who nearly made it into the classic line-up of...Read full story
Liverpool Happy To Get Away
Liverpool players and staff were pleased to get away from Naples with a 0-0 draw - and their lives - last night. The match against Napoli in the Europa League went ahead despite a number of Reds fans being attacked and hospitalised with serious in...Read full story
Rooney Row - Holloway Goes For Lie Down
Blackpool boss Ian Holloway was said to be having a lie down yesterday after an incredible rant at the international football authorities. Holloway was apoplectic during a televised press conference when he commented on the Rooney/Manchester Unite...Read full story
Secretary of Education Unveils New Plan to Save Billions on Education
Arne Duncan has the blessing of the National Advisory Committee on Institutional Quality and Integrity to change the way kids go to school in order to save the Public Education System from complete ruin. "We're going to cut in half the years a child...Read full story
Nuclear Codes Went Missing On Clinton's Watch
The codes used by the president to launch a nuclear strike were mislaid for months during the Clinton administration, a former high-ranking US officer has said. Ex-chairman of the Chief of Staff Joints General Hugh Janus made the claim in a new bo...Read full story
Spoof Writer Wants His Thumbs Back
A prominent Spoof writer from Manchester has appealed to the general public, and spoofing community at large, to start rating his work on the popular website. Herr Riballs, currently languishing in 63rd spot of the most popular writers league tabl...Read full story
Ann Widdecombe takes to the air on Strictly
In a desperate last ditch attempt to win over the judges, Ann Widdecombe and her partner were hoping to perform a daring aerial routine during their last dance. The idea behind this was to try to recreate the flying pig routine, which Pink Floyd used...Read full story
"You are what you eat" not meant to be taken literally
SCIENTISTS are pleading with people to exercise common sense after a sudden spike in hospital admissions were linked with canabalism. Patients were admitted into local hospitals and clinics with gashes and bite marks on arms and legs. "I unders...Read full story
Juan Williams Just Speaking His Mind, For Christ's Sake!
Juan Williams, who has written several books on the US civil rights movement, has been fired from his job as news analyst by National Public Radio for saying on Fox News that he gets nervous if he sees Muslims on a plane. Williams made the candid...Read full story
Zoning Ordinance Deflates Balloon Owner's Dream
Time may heal all wounds, but it doesn't necessarily pave the way for every new business owner's lifetime dream-Grand Opening. Fred Bloons learned this lesson the hard way when the Manchester Township zoning committee in New Jersey refused to gran...Read full story
Glee Actors Apologize Over Paedophilic Mag Cover Shot
Stars of the popular teen TV show, 'Glee' issued a formal apology yesterday, over a Magazine cover shot that irate parents claimed promoted paedophilia. The shots showed 'Glee' actors, Cory Monteith, Leah Michele and Dianna Agron in what could bes...Read full story
British pilot killed in bizarre plane crash
A British pilot, his Belgian co-pilot and 19 passengers have been killed, after a plane crashed in somewhat bizarre circumstances. The sole survivor of the crash, Arthur Skydiver, told authorities the unlikely series of events which had unfolded.Read full story
NPR Fires Juan Williams for Eating Bacon Sandwich on Air!
Officials at National Public Radio, (NPR) abruptly fired 10 year veteran journalist and author Juan Williams after complaints were filled that he ate a bacon sandwich during an off air commerical break on the O'Reilly show last Monday. Williams,...Read full story
Cheryl Cole Reveals Part Of New Tattoo - It's On Her Arse
Cheryl Cole, former wife of that Chelsea love rat, X-Factor judge, part time Girls Aloud vocalist, (providing Nadine Coyle isn't included) solo artiste and celebrity extraordinaire, revealed at least a part of her new tattoo as she unveiled a waxwork...Read full story