Five top tips for surviving in France, by Spoof's very own Masterchev. French speaking Taffy Masterchev gave these 5 nuggets of advice as he prepares to go on holiday this week... to Italy.
1) If attempting to speak French, make sure you take a French teacher just to embarrass both of you.
2) If asked to be on a game show, decline quickly. Napoleon's Castle is a baaad idea.
3) When asked if you'd like to try the local delicacy, ask which animals were harmed in the making.
4) Every question can be answered by "Je suis anglais. Blesser moi s'il vous plait," Don't sue us if you actually do get hit though.
5) Do not, under any circumstances, say the words NICOLAS SARKOZY. Saying the words ARSENE WENGER on the other hand may result in free meals all round.
Take heed of all of those points guys. Who knows? You could just leap like a frog right into a new culture.