"I Shagged Katie Waissel Off The X-Factor And She Wasn't All That" Claims Rochdale Man

Funny story written by Skoob1999

Monday, 18 October 2010


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for "I Shagged Katie Waissel Off The X-Factor And She Wasn't All That" Claims Rochdale Man
Luke Pissquick - Shagged Bo Derek As Well - In Bolton

In yet another salacious Skoob Entertainment News exclusive, we can reveal that unemployed Rochdale man, Luke Pissquick claims to have shagged X-Factor fame junkie Katie Waissel, and added that she wasn't all that.

Pissquick explained that he met Waissel in a pub in nearby Burnley - Yates's Wine Lodge - in 1987. He said they were introduced by somebody, got chatting, and that the couple then went to a terraced house up Duke Bar, had a meat pie each, and then enjoyed a night of passion on an inflatable lilo on the sitting room floor because her mam and dad were upstairs in bed.

"We'd had a few at the time," Pissquick admitted. "And to be honest, it were nowt to write home about. She had a fit body like, but I remember her breath smelling of Victory V lozenges and Southern Comfort. Don't get me wrong like - she weren't that bad, but she weren't that good either. I had to piss off at about five in the morning to get out the way before her dad got up for work. I remember it were right chilly that morning."

SEN supremo Buffty Ginslinger was quick to pour cold water on Pissquick's story however. He told us:

"The man's a bloody fantasist. He obviously didn't shag Katie Waissel. It was 1987 for God's sake. She probably wasn't even born then - much less drinking in a Burnley pub. This Pissquick chappie is obviously a ruddy oaf. And I sometimes wonder about you too dear boy. If you'll believe that load of old shite, you'll believe anything. Right - I'm off down the pub."

As we were packing our gear away, Luke Pissquick said:

"Did I tell you about the time I had a threesome with them girls out of Abba in the bogs at Batley Variety Club?"

More as we get it.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more