Corbett Slams SATC2 Critics; Says He WILL Marry Bo Derek

Funny story: Corbett Slams SATC2 Critics; Says He WILL Marry Bo Derek

The lukewarm critical reception afforded the latest movie in the Sex And The City franchise, "Menopausal Airhead Arabian Fantasy", has irked one of its male stars, writes Nadia Heiferbreath, Tripe Correspondent. The film - known in the trade as Se...

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Daleks v Alien v Predator v Space Vampires v Rocky?

Funny story: Daleks v Alien v Predator v Space Vampires v Rocky?

Hot off the presses from Skoob News Sink: Our very own showbiz insider, Buffty Ginslinger, the man with the large G&T and the constant cigarette, today moved to the east end of London, to announce from his latest hangout on Whitechapel Road that...

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Obama Loses It! Blasts Oil Company, Mother-In-Law, Michelle!

Funny story: Obama Loses It! Blasts Oil Company, Mother-In-Law, Michelle!

Trouble at the White House this morning when President Barack called his Mother-In-Law everything but a ...no he called her that too. "That old bag stays with us wherever we move. I thought we were finally rid of her this time, but no! She even h...

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Kristen Stewart May Join Pattinson & Lautner In Mel Brooks Vampire Spoof

Funny story: Kristen Stewart May Join Pattinson & Lautner In Mel Brooks Vampire Spoof

Kristen Stewart, after Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner got her to sit down and read part of the script, has now agreed to join the two in the Mel Brooks Parody, "Weekend At Bella's" "I laughed so hard I almost wet my panties", Stewart was repo...

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Match Made In Heaven: Larry King & Helen Thomas Linked in Tryst; Wife # 8 Overdoses!

Funny story: Match Made In Heaven: Larry King & Helen Thomas Linked in Tryst; Wife # 8 Overdoses!

Larry King flew to the side of his estranged wife today after reports she was found in a near coma like state after overdosing upon hearing rumours of a late night tryst between her wrinkled husband, and the much wrinkled crone Thomas who recently...

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Australia's Tax Payers Forced to Pay For Tiger Woods

Funny story: Australia's Tax Payers Forced to Pay For Tiger Woods

Angry Australian tax payers have been told the Federal Government will pay a fee to the professional golfing gigalo, Tiger Woods, to attend the Australia Master Golf Open. A spokesperson for the department of Sleeze and other Crap says Woods is c...

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Prince Charles Lectures to Oxford "Scholars": A Prayer Rug in Every Home & Sharia Law Will Make the World Right Again!

Funny story: Prince Charles Lectures to Oxford "Scholars": A Prayer Rug in Every Home & Sharia Law Will Make the World Right Again!

Prince Charles, 'electrified' (sic) his audience of Oxford 'scholars' today by touting that the Muslim religion was the most attuned to nature, an a belief if followed would most likely to save the world from its industrialized excesses. His...

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World Cup opening ceremony to be controversial

Funny story: World Cup opening ceremony to be controversial

This Friday, the 2010 FIFA football World Cup begins in South Africa with a spectacular ceremony. The ceremony is said to represent all that is great about South Africa, and is intended to be an even more amazing spectacle than the opening ceremony o...

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Labour Leadership: Diane Abbott in Next Round

Funny story: Labour Leadership: Diane Abbott in Next Round

As nominations closed today lefty Diane Abbott made it through to the next round of 'Labour's Got Talent'. Speaking to the media, Barber Shop Quartet: Ed Balls, Andy Burnham, David and Ed Miliband said: "We think it's really important to have a wo...

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Man runs over neighbor child with riding lawn mower

Funny story: Man runs over neighbor child with riding lawn mower

The sleepy little suburb of Shadyville was shaken early Sunday when Donough Whut, 42, was taken into custody on charges of running over a two-year-old child with a lawn mower. "What's the big deal?" he said. "I was mowing my lawn, giving my aweso...

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Omid Djalili claims 'wooden spoon' for worst advert

Funny story: Omid Djalili claims 'wooden spoon' for worst advert

If you think your £40pm insurance premium is a good deal you'd be wrong, very wrong. The actual risk that you'll do something stupid like crashing or running someone over is as little as £4 for the insurer. The other £36 is what accountants call gros...

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George Lopez and Sandra Bullock Fly To South Africa For The FIFA World Cup Soccer Games

Funny story: George Lopez and Sandra Bullock Fly To South Africa For The FIFA World Cup Soccer Games

JOHANNESBURG, South Africa - George Lopez, who is still upset that his sit-com was cancelled and Sandra Bullock, who is still upset that her husband Jesse "Dick With Feet" James cancelled their marriage with his horde of TattooGate cycle chicks have...

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Britney-Don't Touch My Spear

Funny story: Britney-Don't Touch My Spear

One of Britney Spears' top bodyguards has quit after accusing her of sexual harassment. 29-year-old Fernando Flores has claimed that Britney paraded naked in front of him, runs around the house naked and even tried to entice him into her bedroom,...

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Ellen DeGeneres Says She Wants Either Sandra Bullock or Scarlett Johansson To Replace Simon Cowell (Hmmm)

Funny story: Ellen DeGeneres Says She Wants Either Sandra Bullock or Scarlett Johansson To Replace Simon Cowell (Hmmm)

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Ellen DeGeneres called up the producer of American Idol, Simon Shindlebocker and told him that she would like for him to replace Simon Cowell with either Sandra Bullock or Scarlett Johansson. Shindlebocker asked Ellen if she had...

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Errant Appletini Spilled on Lohan's Manolos Led to Arrest

Funny story: Errant Appletini Spilled on Lohan's Manolos Led to Arrest

Making bail for the second time on the same alcohol related charge, thanks to a California Court Judge's declaration of a parole violation, Lindsay Lohan had to open her check book to the tune of $200,000 to buy her next "get out of jail, but not fre...

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FBI's Last Comment to Reality Star van der Sloot After Handing Over $15,000: "Go Break a Neck!"

Funny story: FBI's Last Comment to Reality Star van der Sloot After Handing Over $15,000: "Go Break a Neck!"

The bizarre story involving the Dutch sociopath just gets more bizarre after it was revealed the FBI taped their sting meeting with Joran, but instead of immediately arresting him, bid the bad actor off with the Hollywood Classic Phrase, "OK Joran..

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A Triology of Madness: Part III, The Future of it?!

Funny story: A Triology of Madness: Part III, The Future of it?!

PartIII Professor Loonybin Jaggedbananas-Fyffes is now hurtling towards the future and not back. His time-machine is in warp-factor 9 and the stars are looking heavenly tonight, bright, but dammit, suddenly a ginoromous black-hole appears: The Future has arrived and with it a divine, pristine madness, never experienced before and a tale worth telling. The landscape is barren and burnt as...

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Barack Obama: "The Fork Stops Here." As He Points To His Pie Hole

Funny story: Barack Obama: "The Fork Stops Here." As He Points To His Pie Hole

Reading from his ever present TelePrompter: "I am the President, and the fork stops here," said Barack Obama, pointing to his pie hole. "I am sick and tired of using dinner silver left over from right wing operatives who preceded me in the White Ho...

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Liverpool Plan To Portray City as 'Not Shit'

Funny story: Liverpool Plan To Portray City as 'Not Shit'

Mention the name 'Liverpool' to anyone and their immediate reaction will be to check that their pockets have not been picked or that they haven't stood in shite. Such is the opinion of the vast majority of people who are not of the Liverpudlian ra...

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Coronation Street's Gail Seeks Man to Conceive Child With

Funny story: Coronation Street's Gail Seeks Man to Conceive Child With

Coronation Street sourpuss Gail McIntyre (née Potter; previously Tilsley, Platt & Hillman) is on the hunt for a man so that she can conceive a child with a chin that she can't provide. The chinless wonder - who has alternatively been compared...

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Blue Men with Green Balls Wow America's Got Talent

Funny story: Blue Men with Green Balls Wow America's Got Talent

It was a sight to behold Tuesday night when a group calling itself Fighting Gravity took the stage first thing and gave a show worthy of Vegas right off the bat. Said Piers Morgan, "I just love your green balls. How do you get them to separate an...

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Rooney's Odd Odds

Funny story: Rooney's Odd Odds

Bookmakers have cut the odds on England star Wayne Rooney being sent off in the World Cup after his referee rant during a warm-up game. The striker was booked for dissent during England's 3-0 victory over Platinum Stars after allegedly saying "f**...

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Dog Whisperer Confesses to Chasing Cats For Years

Funny story: Dog Whisperer Confesses to Chasing Cats For Years

Top TV dog whisperer Cesar Millan yesterday admitted to animal rights campaigners that he stalked and chased cats throughout California for many years before being forced to seek help from human psychologists. The tight-shirted Cesar Millan who ha...

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Big Brother 2010 Promises To Be Most Controversial Yet

Funny story: Big Brother 2010 Promises To Be Most Controversial Yet

Big Brother 2010 opens tonight, and promises to be the most controversial and exciting edition yet. Like all the other Big Brothers before it. Including the Z-List celebrity version. So here we go again - Davina McCall in her best shouty voice run...

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James Corden Recaptured by RSPCA Following Argument with Patrick Stewart

Funny story: James Corden Recaptured by RSPCA Following Argument with Patrick Stewart

The RSPCA formerly apologised to the public today following the escape of the recently captured James "Chimpy" Corden. Only a few days ago, the RSPCA took Corden into their care after a number of public incidents, leaving them no option but to cage...

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Extraordinary Malawian "Gay" becomes "straight" after being sentenced to 14 years hard labour?!

Funny story: Extraordinary Malawian "Gay" becomes "straight" after being sentenced to 14 years hard labour?!

A "gay" couple in Malawi have split up because one of the partners (after being sentenced to 14 years hard labour?) decided to change his life-style and jump in bed with a female, astonishing! Now we've heard of Bi's, (David Bowie and Lou Reed per...

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Lindsay Lohan's Court-Ordered Bracelet Goes Off After Her Boozing

Funny story: Lindsay Lohan's Court-Ordered Bracelet Goes Off After Her Boozing

A judge issued a warrant for Lindsay Lohan's arrest Tuesday and reset her bail at $200,000, saying Lohan violated terms of her bail when her alcohol monitoring bracelet went off at a party Sunday night. A county prosecutor and Lohan's attorney met...

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Abbott joins leadership race

Funny story: Abbott joins leadership race

Diane Abbott is the perfect candidate to champion labour 'core values' - "A future rich for us" Abbott couldn't of done hypocrisy any better if she tried. Having slammed Tony Blair for sending his children to a selective school, she went one bette...

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Joran van der Sloot - "This Is So Unfair"

Funny story: Joran van der Sloot - "This Is So Unfair"

Incarcerated sociopathic international playboy Joran van der Sloot has apparently complained to his Peruvian jailers that threats against his personal safety made by fellow prisoners are just so unfair. Van der Sloot, arrested after a Lima hotel r...

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Hundreds of Third World Vampires Anaemic: UN Report

Funny story: Hundreds of Third World Vampires Anaemic: UN Report

One month away from the debut of the predicted super-hit Eclipse a UN report presents a dismal state of affairs for a significant majority of the world's vampires. Most vampires in the third world do not have access to basic necessities like fresh h...

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Yellowstone Supervolcano to blow imminently

Funny story: Yellowstone Supervolcano to blow imminently

Scientists have gained a shocking new insight into the Caldera supervolcano which rumbles beneath Yellowstone national park. They say it could blow in less than 15 years. If so, it means the USA's widely condemned decision to shun ratification of...

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Oxford Street Shopper Siege

Funny story: Oxford Street Shopper Siege

Six people were arrested, another was taken to hospital and one of London's busiest shopping areas was closed after a mass water fight broke out. The Oxford Street attack began on Friday at 1pm and continued for several hours when hundreds of peop...

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Fox calls for a cull of Boris Johnsons

Funny story: Fox calls for a cull of Boris Johnsons

After the Mayor of London Boris Johnson asked local councils to focus their attention on destroying foxes in the aftermath of the North London twin babies attack, a fox from South London has hit back demanding a cull of Boris Johnsons. The fox, wh...

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Career change for former PM

Funny story: Career change for former PM

London, England. Former Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, has secretly joined the ranks of Al Quaeda and committed himself to terrorist activity against the state. Brown, deeply embittered following the general election loss on May 6, will resign his sea...

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Wayne Williams 'seeks Barack Obama plea bargain'

Funny story: Wayne Williams 'seeks Barack Obama plea bargain'

Atlanta, Georgia - (DNA Mess): Lawyers acting for convicted Atlanta Child Murders killer Wayne Williams are poised for a dramatic plea bargain statement 'naming the real Barack Obama as one of Williams' victims. The former aspiring radio DJ was co...

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Obama, Vowing to Kick Ass, Nationalizes The Bankrupt Texas Rangers With Help from Goldman Sachs!

Funny story: Obama, Vowing to Kick Ass, Nationalizes The Bankrupt Texas Rangers With Help from Goldman Sachs!

President Obama, batting O for Forever on the Political Scene, was moved to step into bankruptcy proceedings for the Texas Rangers, mired in bad debt caused by imprudent borrowing to sign disappointing players saying "The time to kick some ass is no...

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The Waiting Game

Funny story: The Waiting Game

Waiting, is it worth the wait? Seaton Carew, a man who lives locally, has appeared in the news several times after being forced to wait. He now is enduring the possibly second longest wait of his exsistence, the first longest wait may become apparent when the current wait has finished. Due to circumstances now beyond his control, but initially within his control before he lost control, Ca...

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Google Backgrounds: Much fun to be had at Google's expense

Funny story: Google Backgrounds: Much fun to be had at Google's expense

The clean simplicity of Google's search page has been one of its key themes for years. Fast to load and generally consistent in layout, it's become a welcome sight amongst the complexities of the Web. "You are here to search", it states, "and we wi...

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After 17 Months Washington Finally Gets a Winner as Rookie Strikes out 14 In Debut!

Funny story: After 17 Months Washington Finally Gets a Winner as Rookie Strikes out 14 In Debut!

Washington finally signed a rookie who lived up to all the hype and didn't disappoint, preferring to let his performance speak for itself as rookie pitcher Stephen Strasburg took the mound for the Nationals and wowed the hometown crowd. Working of...

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Prince's Foundation for Integrated Quackery ex-CEO busted for fraud

Funny story: Prince's Foundation for Integrated Quackery ex-CEO busted for fraud

London - (Sticky Business): It started as a nasty deep throat infection that's now spread to the entire abominal - er, abdominal! - area. And this week it's laid low Prince Charles just as his wacky Foundation for Integrated Quackery ex-CEO George...

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Wayne Rooney to Quit Football

Funny story: Wayne Rooney to Quit Football

Sensational as it may seem, Phoenix Joe can exclusively report that Wayne Rooney (a footballer player) has announced his intentions to quit the erm, beautiful game and pursue an academic career after the World Cup. "Well, like I'm just erm ****in...

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Britain Has Talent Winners Faked It

Funny story: Britain Has Talent Winners Faked It

Gymnastic Dance Troupe "Spellbinder" is in disgrace today after it was revealed they faked their winning performance. It has been known for years that many pop idols do not perform live on stage, but mime along to flawless backing tapes. However,...

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Final Big Brother - Highlights from Ten Years

Funny story: Final Big Brother - Highlights from Ten Years

Here we are as the final Big Brother is about to get underway. Ten years (is it only ten?) have passed since the UK's contribution to world cultural development crawled out from under a broadcasting stone. Here Phoenix Joe presents the highligh...

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Eastenders cast voted "least attractive"

Funny story: Eastenders cast voted "least attractive"

What kind of people follow soap opera plots? Do they eat properly? Are they nice to their families? Do they have the same friends a month later? Are they safe to drive a car? We may never know the answers to these questions because 15 million people...

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Oh dear, it's another 'public consultation'

Funny story: Oh dear, it's another 'public consultation'

Politicials love 'public consultations' because they seem so democratic and open. "You tell us what you want and we'll do it" Right? No actually it's "You tell us what you want and then we'll ignore you and do what we want." a la Heathrow's 3rd ru...

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BA & BP Merger

Funny story: BA & BP Merger

An astounding merger, that will rock the City, has been made between British Airways & British Petroleum. A joint statement today from the two Chief Executives of these famous Companies declares: 'We are proud to link our two Companies. We sha...

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Potty mouthed psychopath upholds national stereotype

The air was turned blue in England's final warm up game in South Africa after Wayne Rooney was booked for abusive language towards the referee. Rooney, the potato headed mentalist, turned on referee Jeff Selogilwe during England's unconvincing 3-0...

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Branson offers free flights into Space

Funny story: Branson offers free flights into Space

Richard Branson has launched an amazing scheme which will revolutionise air travel - and it is absolutely FREE. Yes, folks. It's absolutely free. You hear these hardened cynics saying 'What's the catch?' or 'Too good to be true'. But there is no c...

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Lindsay Lohan, America's Red-Headed F-ckup, Fu-cks Up Again.

Funny story: Lindsay Lohan, America's Red-Headed F-ckup, Fu-cks Up Again.

Every 4 year old goes through the same thing: Parent: "Don't touch the stove. It is hot and you'll burn yourself." Child: (Touches stove, burns self.) PArent: "Didn't I tell you it is hot and you'll burn yourself?" Child: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! You'd think Lindsay Lohan would have more sense than a 4 year old. Nope. Let's look at it, piece by piece. So, remember when dumbass was s...

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Chris Brown UK Tour Dates

Funny story: Chris Brown UK Tour Dates

US singer Chris Brown has been forced to make changes to his UK tour after experiencing 'complications' with obtaining a visa to enter the country . Indeed, he was told to "fuck off". Brown was refused permission on the grounds of being guilty...

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Jade Goody Evicted From Tomb

Funny story: Jade Goody Evicted From Tomb

There was drama in Essex this morning when a visitor to the tomb of the late, great former reality TV star Jade Goody found that the her grave was open and her body no longer inside her coffin. Twelve fans of Jade, who have become known as her dis...

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Los Angeles Mayor Fears That If The Lakers Win The NBA Title The Fans Will Burn Down The City

Funny story: Los Angeles Mayor Fears That If The Lakers Win The NBA Title The Fans Will Burn Down The City

LOS ANGELES - The mayor of Los Angeles, Antonio Villaraigosa has expressed concern about the Los Angeles Lakers defeating the Boston Celtics and becoming the NBA world champions. Villaraigosa has pointed out that every time the Lakers have won the...

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City to Excavate Mountain of Cigarette Ash Behind Satirist's Desk

Funny story: City to Excavate Mountain of Cigarette Ash Behind Satirist's Desk

SAN FRANCISCO, California - Construction crews boarded up a San Francisco hotel then filled it with rubble and debris after a diligent housekeeper discovered a mountain of cigarette ash behind a satirist's desk on the fifth floor. She called the H...

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The Ethiopian Football Team Drops Out of The World Cup Finals

Funny story: The Ethiopian Football Team Drops Out of The World Cup Finals

CAPE TOWN, South Africa - The FIFA Executive Committee has just been informed that the team from Ethiopia will not be competing in the World Cup finals. The Ethiopian coach Naboombali Yakachumpa told reporters covering the Ethiopian team that due...

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London, Birmingham and Manchester Are Two Cities - BBC

Funny story: London, Birmingham and Manchester Are Two Cities - BBC

According to the latest BBC report, London, Birmingham and Manchester constitute 'two cities', not, as is commonly thought, three. The news came during an article on the BBC's website about the US singer Chris Brown, who had been refused a visa to...

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Arizona Governor Jan Brewer Has Just Issued A Governor's Proclamation Allowing Her To Change The Name of The State

Funny story: Arizona Governor Jan Brewer Has Just Issued A Governor's Proclamation Allowing Her To Change The Name of The State

PHOENIX - Governor Jan Brewer caving in to even more pressure from members of The Tea Bag Association's, Folks For Doing The Right Thing Coalition Subcommittee, The People Who Know It All Alliance, and Sheriff Joe "Pinky" Arpaio has issued a Governor...

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Profits from 'Genuine Replica' Football Shirts Used to Finance Illegal Wars

Funny story: Profits from 'Genuine Replica' Football Shirts Used to Finance Illegal Wars

Exhaustive enquiries by your Truth Hound, Phoenix Joe reveal the shocking truth that the profits from 'Genuine Replica' (whatever that may mean) football shirts end up financing illegal wars in far flung countries like Afghanistan and Iraq. The...

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Twitter Birds Chased by a Fox, Tweets Delayed

Funny story: Twitter Birds Chased by a Fox, Tweets Delayed

Users of Twitter, the social networking service, were disappointed to see a service delay recently. Many panicked. They needed to send and receive their messages (tweets)! Up to this point, the true cause of the problem remained a mystery. Bu...

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A Second Gulf of Mexico Oil Leak Has Now Been Found

Funny story: A Second Gulf of Mexico Oil Leak Has Now Been Found

BOURBON BAYOU, Louisiana - Well it appears that now we have a second oil spill spewing forth in the Gulf of Mexico waters off the coast of Louisiana. Joining the BP's Deepwater Horizon well is Diamond Offshore drilling rig Ocean Saratoga. This oil...

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Liverpool New Manager Revealed

Funny story: Liverpool New Manager Revealed

Liverpool have this morning unveiled their choice as new manager, and it will come as a complete shock to everyone to discover the name of the new Anfield boss - Reg Crabtree. Passing over the likes of Jose Mourinho, Martin O'Neill, Sven Goran Eri...

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Scientists Debunk "Loaves and Fishes" Story

Funny story: Scientists Debunk "Loaves and Fishes" Story

Leonard Nimrod, working under grants from the University of California - Davis, released findings of what is presumed to be a 1,183 lbs. fish in the Red Sea, the site of the famous "Loaves and Fishes" story canonized in the Bible. "A fish that bi...

Read full story View 'Scientists Debunk "Loaves and Fishes" Story'

Gary Coleman's 1999 Will Filed in Utah Court: Ex-wife Tries to Sell It.

Funny story: Gary Coleman's 1999 Will Filed in Utah Court: Ex-wife Tries to Sell It.

Gary Coleman 's 1999 will names a friend and, apparently, the world's worst manager Dion Mial as executor of the late child star 's estate and specifies that he wanted to be cremated, according to documents filed Tuesday in state court in Utah. Co...

Read full story View 'Gary Coleman's 1999 Will Filed in Utah Court: Ex-wife Tries to Sell It.'

BP Awarded UK Oil Slick Contract

Funny story: BP Awarded UK Oil Slick Contract

Phoenix Joe has just been informed that BP has been awarded a lucrative contact by the UK coalition government following their "impressive efforts" to contain the small leak (caused by faulty American equipment and faulty American workers) in the Gul...

Read full story View 'BP Awarded UK Oil Slick Contract'

Obama Has New Pet

Funny story: Obama Has New Pet

At a packed White House press conference today, Barack Obama showed off his new pet elephant. The 48-year-old President met the 14-foot animal named John last month on an African safari, and the two are now inseparable. The friendship, however,...

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Man Hospitalized with PMS

Funny story: Man Hospitalized with PMS

Hollywood CA: Emergency Medical Technicians (EMT) responded to a 911 call about a man found laying unconscious at the corner of Hollywood Boulevard and Vine Street. He was transported, via ambulance to nearby Hollywood General Hospital. Hospital...

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Someone Finally Marries Alanis Morissette

Funny story: Someone Finally Marries Alanis Morissette

One trick pony old maid Alanis Morissette married her boyfriend of, like, 25 minutes, Mario Treadway, who goes by the name Souleye, at a small ceremony at their home in L.A. last month, reports People. We are reminded when A-list-for-a-short time...

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World Cup Latest: Al-Qaeda Target England v. USA Match For Maximum Impact

Funny story: World Cup Latest: Al-Qaeda Target England v. USA Match For Maximum Impact

Security patrols in South Africa are on high alert today after UK intelligence sources claimed they had uncovered details of an al-Qaeda plot to wreak havoc and destruction at this summer's World Cup which starts on Friday. The information relates...

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Immigrants to England must now take English Language tet

Funny story: Immigrants to England must now take English Language tet

At last the Government have come out with yet another stupid scam to curb the number of immigrants entering Britain. Now immigrants will have to take - and pass - an English literacy test. This seems to this writer to be cruel and unusual punish...

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Senator Byrd of West Virginia Can't Shit!

Funny story: Senator Byrd of West Virginia Can't Shit!

"No, that's not it", stated West Virgina's Robert Byrd. "That's not what I meant when I said...I forgot, read it back to me." "Sir, you stated that 'It's been stalled in committee!'. Which bill were you referring to?" "Bill, my ass! I'm trying...

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61
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58
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73
11th
52
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42
13th
56
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70
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58
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74
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57
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43
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