Written by Lady Godiva

Wednesday, 9 June 2010

image for Immigrants to England must now take English Language tet
Welcome to Little Britain (SPAIN)

At last the Government have come out with yet another stupid scam to curb the number of immigrants entering Britain. Now immigrants will have to take - and pass - an English literacy test.

This seems to this writer to be cruel and unusual punishment. The English language is so complex that even British born inhabitants of our fair Isle would fail this test if they were to 'sit it' themselves in order to remain in Britain.

Does this mean, and to be fair to prospective immigrants, that British citizens should also be expected to pass this English Language Test?

Oh so many Brits. would surely fail. What then? Do we deport them from the land of their birth? Well, if the Government is to be 'all inclusive' and not biased or racist, then yes, home grown Brits should also have to take and pass the test to remain on British soil.

We know where this would lead.....the majority of immigrants would pass the test whilst the majority of Brits would fail the test.

Where would this lead? Where would we put the illiterate Brits? One idea is to send them to literacy classes. Give them 6 months to study, pass the test, and if they fail, fly them over to Spain where most Brits. are settling down these days. They will, no doubt get jobs in the many fish and chip shops popping up all over Spain as fellow Brits. move to Spain to seek a life of luxury.

Who are these Spanish immigrants kidding? Hopefully the Spanish Government will soon come up with similar immigration conditions i.e. Brits MUST be totally fluent in Spanish, know its history etc. before they are allowed to settle down in Little Britain (Spain).

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
86 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more