Hot off the presses from Skoob News Sink: Our very own showbiz insider, Buffty Ginslinger, the man with the large G&T and the constant cigarette, today moved to the east end of London, to announce from his latest hangout on Whitechapel Road that he's finally abandoned his planned biopic of 60s grunt'n'groan wrestling bad guy, Mick McManus, supposedly starring Alex Reid in the titular role, Peter Andre as Jackie 'Mister TV' Pallo and featuring a topless cameo by Katie Price, in favour of a far more ambitious project.
(Phew - that was a sentence and a half. In fact, just call it four sentences bundled as one - Ed)
Our man says he's planning a 3D CGI spectacular featuring Daleks, Aliens, the Predator, Edward Cullen's Twilight Rob Pattinson vampire mob, and Rocky Balboa in the biggest ass-kicking fest ever to grace the big screen.
"Just envision the possibilities," Buffty told us. "Aliens with acidic blood, a predator who's really hard to distinguish from a jungle background, Robert Pattinson as a Twilight space vampire, and Sly Stallone as Rocky Balboa - out to save the human race with his back-street Philadelphia Brotherly Love way of punching somebody's head in, whilst retaining his big city naivete and moral integrity. We can't fucking lose!"
Sadly, Buffty then staggered out of the door, smashed his head against a lamppost, fell heavily on his hand and had to be rushed by air ambulance to the Royal London Hospital across the road.
Subsequent tests established that he was so drunk that his blood contained sufficient pure alcohol to generate power for the London borough of Tower Hamlets for a week.
As he was airlifted from the scene, he was heard to mutter:
"Ed Wood...Plan 9... he was on a winner there...the bastard!"
More as we get it.
