Reading from his ever present TelePrompter: "I am the President, and the fork stops here," said Barack Obama, pointing to his pie hole. "I am sick and tired of using dinner silver left over from right wing operatives who preceded me in the White House."
"I have directed Michelle to convert all of the place settings so that they fit my left-hand agenda. I am a southpaw, and all of my life I have been forced to shoot basketballs made for right-handers and eat food with right handed silverware. This has got to stop."
With that said, the President did an about-face, grabbed his left-handed golf clubs and headed for the golf course; leaving the BP crisis, the Afghanistan war, the Israel-Palestine conflict, declining ratings and other minor setbacks, for another day.
