Written by Collins_and_Dutton

Wednesday, 9 June 2010

image for James Corden Recaptured by RSPCA Following Argument with Patrick Stewart

The RSPCA formerly apologised to the public today following the escape of the recently captured James "Chimpy" Corden. Only a few days ago, the RSPCA took Corden into their care after a number of public incidents, leaving them no option but to cage the out of control mammal.

It appears that Corden, recently named "Chimpy" by the volunteer who had been feeding and hosing him, had managed to undo the lock on the cage in the early hours of yesterday morning and escaped from him holding pen.

It was only on the handler bringing his morning meal of banana's and water that the alarm was raised that he was again loose to cause chaos amongst the unsuspecting public.

Only hours later was he captured, having caused a number of incidents in the high profile Glamour Women of the Year awards. An RSPCA spokesman stated that they believed that his selection of event was based on his desire to mate, common in all apes during these months.

The most notable of the incidents, was a heated argument between Corden and Sir Patrick Stewart, a famous hater of all Baboons. It appears that Corden believed that Stewart had concealed some bananas about his person, and was sent into a wild frenzy infront of the audience.

Luckily the RSPCA were able to hit him with a combination of taser shots and tranquiliser darts (known by the RSPCA handlers as the "hitting him with the Deuce") and restrained him.

"We can only apologise to the public and assure them that this will not happen again. We are aware of the level of danger that the females at this event were in, given the size of the male and his rampant desire for mating and attention. This combination in the Ape world is one thing but in a London Awards ceremony it is simply lethal"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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