There were 1,180 spoof news stories published in November 2009. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Anthropogenic Global Warming Virus Alert
The AGW Anthropogenic Global Warming or Human Induced Climate Change virus was first isolated in a lab at the Climate Research Unit of the University of East Nowhere. The AGW virus can be recognized by the following signature - valadj=[0.,0.,0.
Read full storyCheryl Cole And Erin Andrews In Naked Internet Lesbian Romp
Internet footage purporting to show X-Factor judge, wife of Olympic quality diver Ashley, chart topping warbler Cheryl Cole and ESPN presenter mit da boobies, Erin Andrews in some hot lesbian action has been exposed as fake. Internet researchers w...
Read full storyCheryl Cole's 2010 Nude Calendar Selling Like Hot Cakes!
LONDON - Noted singer and famed X-Factor judge Cheryl Cole told a reporter for the BBC that she has just been informed that her 2010 calendar, "Cheryl Cole's 12 Titillating Views" has already sold more copies than any other nude calendar in the histo...
Read full storySearch for World's Most Beautiful Vagina Takes World's Most Interesting Man To South Carolina On Snatch Quest!
The area is electric with the news that eccentric recluse, noted satyr and voyeur, Fernando Monte Verde, The World's Most Interesting (& irresistible) Man was coming to the Grand Strand on a talent search for the woman with the World's Most Be...
Read full storyAndre Agassi's Toupee: What Was Under It?
Tennis fans the world over are shocked by Agassi's revelation that he wore a toupee during some of his matches. Understanding the interest in this topic, a vigilant Spoof reporter got onto the story immediately, getting the first scoop on what Agass...
Read full storyMariah Carey says she admires Irma Grese
Mariah Carey says she fell in love with Irma Grese when she found out Grese was a devout feminist who believed women were just as strong as men. "Irma Grese was one the strongest of the female Nazi feminist." said Carey. Carey who is a Sadomaso...
Read full storyThe Nude Photos of The First Mama, Michelle Obama Appear To Be Fake
SHREVEPORT, Louisiana - The president and the first lady were in Shreveport attending the birthday celebration of one of Michelle Obama's cousins TaTaQuisha Fillipity. TaTaQuisha, who turned 21, was recently named Shreveport's Miss Shrimp Gumbo Et...
Read full storyMystery Of Why J. Edgar Hoover Wore Dresses Solved
Those old tales and jokes about tough man, Head of the FBI, J. Edgar Hoover wearing dresses in private and usually in bed are true according to a letter he wrote to "Agent 18" discovered Sunday in an old shoe box at the home of Hector Lindsey. App...
Read full story'Five Sluttiest Wedding Dresses' designer booked for Susan Boyle topless nuptials
London - (Bridle Path): So far there's no actual bridegroom, wedding ring or other essential paraphernalia. But, hey! Where's the obstacle? Sussan Boyle PR sources said today their client had booked Russian topless wedding dress designers Boobski...
Read full storyKate and Jon Gosselin of Jon and Kate Plus 8 To Reconcile
BOISE, Idaho - Jon Gosselin of Jon and Kate Plus 8 notoriety was in town at The Peeled Potato Convention Center attending The 17th Annual Korean Rock and Roll Music Festival. The event which features bands from both North and South Korean has grow...
Read full storyA Judge Tells Jon and Kate Gosselin To Work Out Their Problems Or She'll Give Their 8 Kids To OctuMom
PITTSBURGH - A Pennsylvania Circuit Judge has informed Jon and Kate Gosselin of Jon and Kate Plus 8 that she is instructing them to straighten out their marital problems by January 1, 2010, or she will be forced to turn custody of their eight childre...
Read full storyBrad Pitt Confesses To Larry King He Is Going To Take Jennifer Aniston Back
LOS ANGELES - Brad Pitt has just dropped a bombshell on the Larry King Live Show. He has informed Larry that he has gotten so tired of Angelina Jolie's constant nagging that he wants to get back with his ex-wife Jennifer in the worst way. Brad sai...
Read full storyHannah Dakota Fanning Upset With Miley Cyrus About Hannah Montana
HOLLYWOOD - Hannah Dakota Fanning has come to Hollywood to participate in the premier of the new Stephenie Meyers movie The Twilight Saga: New Moon. The 15-year-old native of Georgia was asked how it felt working on a movie that is destined to bre...
Read full storyParis Hilton Sells Her Farts
In what can only be described as a revolution, hotel heiress Paris Hilton has 'bottled her bottom burps'. "People love my fragrances, so I'd thought that I'd give them something more personal", explained Ms Hilton. During the fictitious interview,...
Read full storyDakota Fanning Sues Hannah Montana for Identity Theft
Actress Dakota Fanning has filed a lawsuit in California courts claiming that the Hannah Montana television show has stolen her identity. Fanning, whose full name is Hannah Dakota Fanning, claims that the program stole her name by dropping her last...
Read full storyPorn Star Jenna Jameson To Come Out of Retirement And Make An X-Rated Flick With Levi Johnston
SAN FRANCISCO - The world's most famous porn star Jenna Jameson, who has 143 movies to her credit, has agreed to come out of retirement in order to star in a movie with ex-Governor Sarah Palin's ex-future son-in-law Levi Johnston. The movie is ent...
Read full storyHooded Nude Bill Clinton In XXX Midget Movie Identified By Lewinsky
"That is Bill Clinton!" stated former aide to the president, Monica Lewinsky, according to an unnamed source who didn't want her family to know she watched such movies. Lewinsky is said to have stated, "There's that triple mole on his back near th...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan is scaring Samantha Ronson with her hole
Lindsay Lohan said she is not allowed to be around Samantha Ronson because Ronson never enjoyed the lesbian sex. Lindsay Lohan says she has a hole in her life and wants Ronson to fill it. Lohan complains she does not like living alone without Ron...
Read full storyTwilight Star Robert Pattinson Acts Fast To Dispel Malicious Rumours
"I have never expressed a desire to marry Susan Boyle, or Kristen Stewart, or anybody else for that matter," Brit actor and star of the 'Twilight' movies, Robert Pattinson today told a packed Press Corps in New York City's Hotel Abstinence. On Lexing...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Thrashes "The Twilight Saga: New Moon" All To Hell
NATCHEZ, Mississippi - Miley Cyrus was in town serving as the Grand Marshal in The 53rd Annual Fried Okra Days Festival Parade. The parade which draws floats and bands from as far off as Bunkie, Louisiana, and Andalusia, Alabama has been featured...
Read full story'Arbeit Macht Fries': Fast food outlet opens at Auschwitz concentration camp
Fast food conglomerate MacDiddly announced today that they are opening a restaurant in what might be the unlikeliest of venues - Auschwitz concentration camp in Poland. The camp, which saw the extermination of hundreds of thousands of Polish politic...
Read full storyCheryl Cole Only 5' 3" (63") Tall Shocker
Shocking revelations today here in London when it was revealed that X-Factor judge and chart topper who mimes to her latest 'hit' live, allegedly, Cheryl Cole was revealed to stand only 5' 3" tall, according to critics. The medium of film and tele...
Read full storyCheryl Cole's Secret Sex Life
Hot on the heels of personal revelations pertaining to the sex life of Aussie actress Nicole Kidman, I decided that I'd better run a follow up story pretty quickly to capitalise on the abject failure of the last one. So I asked X-Factor judge, Gir...
Read full storyNASA Shuttle Flies Away with our Business, U.S. Postal Service Complains
Why did the space shuttle Atlantis get the contract to deliver goods to the International Space Station? That's what officials at the U.S. Postal Service want to know. "We could have done the job equally as well and perhaps for a better price," one...
Read full storyKristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson Invited To Dinner At Hugh Hefner's Playboy Mansion
BEVERLY HILLS - Hugh Hefner, the chief creative officer of Playboy Enterprises threw an $800,000 sit down dinner at his Playboy Mansion in honor of the stars of The Twilight Saga: New Moon Robert Pattinson and Kirsten Stewart. The 20 guests were t...
Read full storyDallas Cowboys Lose: Tony Romo Says He Wants Jessica Simpson Back
GREEN BAY, Wisconsin - Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo sat in the Cowboys locker room disheartened, dejected, and depressed after their lackluster effort (showing) in their 17-7 loss to the Green Bay Packers who were 4 and 4 coming into the game...
Read full storyChris Brown Says "Rihanna She Be Lying"
TUSCALOOSA, Alabama - Chris Brown in town for a rap concert at The Cotton Pickin' Arena said that he is tired of people looking at him as if she is a bad guy or something. Brown said that Rihanna has been telling reporters that he beat her, and bi...
Read full storyThe Gay Community Is So Mad At Adam Lambert They Want Him To Become Straight
SAN FRANCISCO - Hundreds of members of the gay community are so upset with Adam Lambert's sexually-charged gay orgy performance on the American Music Awards show that they want him banned from the gay community. And the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Ag...
Read full storyAl Gore Linked to Ice Age, Extinction
ROSWELL, NM - The occurrence of multiple Ice Age periods has been well documented. However, Global Warming "activists" have been strangely silent about the phenomenon. Some suspect the shift to using the phrase "Climate Change" is a distraction. Y...
Read full storyKristen Stewart's Bad Sex Memory At Thanksgiving
While several of us were allowed recently to talk with some of the cast of Twilight: New Moon, the group somehow got onto Thanksgiving, being this time of year, and some great memories they had. Probably, the other reason was because everyone was...
Read full storyCheryl Cole (5'3") and Dannii Minogue (5'2") To Co-Host The Telethon To Benefit Short People
MANCHESTER, England - X-Factor Judges Cheryl Cole and Dannii Minogue will be co-hosting The 1st Annual Telethon To Benefit Short People. The idea first came to Cole one day when she opened up her kitchen cupboard to get a drinking glass. She said...
Read full storyMick Jagger Replaces Steven Tyler from Aerosmith
The music industry was turned on its ear, or perhaps better stated, its lips yesterday, following the shocking announcement of Mick Jagger as the touring replacement for Steven Tyler from Aerosmith. Music industry icons from their respective home...
Read full storyOrgasms in my sleep: Maria Sharapova
Blushing Meadows - (Hawkeye): "About five in the morning," Maria Sharapova confided today, "I get this throbbing. Like I'd just gone grand slam with Rafa on that vibrating pommel horse of his. Whoa!" Interviewed this weekend by LA FagHagSlagMag'...
Read full storyPresident Obama Invites The White House Party Crashers To A White House Beer Summit
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama trying to put a lid on the embarrassing "Party Crashers Gate" incident has invited the 'culprits' Tareg and Michaele Salahi to attend a White House "Beer Summit." The president has called the "BS" at the insisten...
Read full storyThe White House Party Crashers, The Salahis Invited To Play Nude Tennis At The Playboy Mansion
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Playboy mogul Hugh Hefner has invited Tareg and Michaele Salahi to participate in a charity nude tennis match at his Playboy Mansion. The Salahis have gained world wide notoriety for crashing a White House party that honored the...
Read full storyDallas Cowboy Cheerleaders Moon Romo After HE Shows HIS Ass in Loss to Packers!
In an ultimate showing of disrespect, the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders mooned star crossed Quarterback Tony Romo after yet another dismal showing. Unable to get untracked from the highly publicized break up with Texas Free Ranging Cow, Jessica Simps...
Read full storyUFO mothership crash 'sucked power' out of Itaipu dam
Sao Paulo - (X-Files): Nearly 100,000 Brazilian depilation salons were plunged into darkness on Tuesday, bringing bewildered customers to their carpet-burned knees as a huge power outage hit the country. Reports blamed the Brazil Air Farce for a c...
Read full storyAlicia Keys Pisses Everybody Off By Performing Live On The X-Factor
The big X-Factor story tonight is that a little old New York City gal, Alicia Keys, did what no other headlining act has managed so far - she actually sang live on the X-Factor. Plucky Alicia showed every other celeb mime artist up by actually sin...
Read full storyJennifer Aniston Denies That She Said She Wished Susan Boyle Would Beat Angelina With Her Ugly Stick!
"Oh, that's just some silly magazines getting their Jolies", laughed Aniston as she talked to a few of us reporters, yesterday afternoon. "Now I'm into it with Jolie AND Boyle! What does it matter? OK. I'm sorry Susan. I wouldn't compare your beh...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus launches stunning new 17th birthday suit!
New York - (WallSmart): The nude-colored line comes in subtle flesh tones featuring separates, underwear, swimmers and a fabulous formal two-piece suit. It will be launched on the Hannah Montana star's 17th birthday this Monday. "And not a trac...
Read full storyMichelle Obama Jealous of Joe Biden's Man Boobs
United States First Lady Michelle Obama admits that she is jealous of Vice President Joe Biden and his man boobs. She said in confidence to a White House staffer that "I really ought to have the biggest tits and be the biggest boob in the White Hous...
Read full storyBreckenridge, Colorado Voters Approve Legalizing Marijuana
BRECKENRIDGE, Colorado - The Rocky Mountain town of Breckenridge, Colorado has just become the most map quested town in the entire world with tens of thousands of visitors expected to flock in from California alone. Breckenridge voters voted by a...
Read full storyRev. Al Sharpton Wants The Name 'Black Friday' Changed To "African-American Friday"
BROOKLYN - Reverend Al Sharpton speaking from the Mens' Underwear Department at a Brooklyn Wal-Mart said that he is asking all U.S. retailers to stop using the term 'Black Friday' for the shopping sales day that takes place on the Friday after Thanks...
Read full storyMan With World's Largest Penis Fails Ultimate Test
Everything was set firmly in place, as with military precision, the 'Man With The World's Largest Penis' Bargis Tryhol, accompanied by legendary French marine biologist, Jacques Cocktail and a posse of submarine cameramen set out aboard the yacht 'Co...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Tour Bus Crash Kills One
The ghost of a commoner killed one person Friday when a tour bus belonging to entertainer Miley Cyrus overturned, but the 16-year-old "Hannah Montana" star wasn't on board, thank God, Virginia State Police said. Sgt. Thomas Molnar said the bus was...
Read full storyMan Fakes Coma For 2 Years, Now Comatose
Alabama - A man who had recently won a multi-state lottery faked being in a coma for 2 years to see who was worthy of being included in his will. Ricky Ray Rayfield woke up after 2 years of hospitalization to the relief and horror of his famil...
Read full storyJonas Brothers Have Close Call In Spain!
Although many are keeping it quiet, the brothers got a scare in Spain when one guy got past security during their performance. "I didn't know what was going on", stated Kevin. "The guy looked kinda messed up and I thought he was headed right for u...
Read full storyFirst "Jedward", Now "Taylor" As Lautner & Swift Dating
Rumors are all over the internet and in the tabloids that Taylor Launer, at a high point in his young career with the new Twilight movies, is seriously dating country singing star, Taylor Swift. According to a source, Lautner joked that Kayne West...
Read full storyBanana Boy Breaks Up Fight Between Between Dakota Fanning And Hannah Montana Star While Jonas Bros Look On In Amazement.
Fresh from comforting Katie Price in the Australian jungle over rumours that she was being vote-rigged (or gerrymandered) into performing Bushtucker Trials because she's got huge breasts and the Bilderbungalow Group held a grudge against her, banana...
Read full storySelena Gomez Cries Out, "I'm Not The Hispanic Miley Cyrus, Miley's The Anglo Selena Gomez"
SANTA MONICA, California - Speaking from her apartment in Santa Monica, Selena Gomez said that she is tired of the media, the paparazzi, and the American pubic comparing her to Miley Cyrus. Selena recently yelled out at a concert in The Squaw Jane...
Read full storyNew Keyboards Announced for 2010 ICANN Standards
Hot on the news that internet domain names can now be created and registered in languages other than those based on Greek characters, Megakey Company has announced a new line of computer keyboards that accommodate five languages. Based on the stan...
Read full storyRob Pattinson And Kristen Stewart's Twilight Movie Not All It's Cracked Up To Be
Following all the hype. Spoof writer Skoob1999 was left to his own devices, drinking beer, as usual, and generally being silly and feeding the cats. As his much beloved wife went to bed. Leaving Skoob to watch a movie. The movie he opted...
Read full storyMany X-Factor Fans Are Calling For Simon Cowell To Be Arrested
LONDON - Literally tens of thousands of viewers and fans of the British musical reality show X-Factor are angrily asking that one of the shows judges Simon Cowell be arrested. Furious fans and vehement voters from all over the United Kingdom are b...
Read full storyChelsea Clinton books 'Five Sluttiest Wedding Dresses' designer
New York - (Reuterus): Bridal gown designers Boobski & Trollope are said to be inundated with orders following confirmation of the Chelsea Clinton/Mark Lewinsky nuptial order for next June. The Russian couturiers hit headlines last week after...
Read full storyTwas Hockey Night Before Christmas
Offered as a tribute to our Canadian friends, to anyone from a northern U.S. state, any country closer to the North Pole than the Equator, or anyone who sponsored a kid through years of junior hockey. T'was Hockey Night Before Christmas 'Twas Hockey Night before Christmas, when all through the rink Not a sound could be heard, but there still was that stink. Some skates were hung by t...
Read full story27 More Carrie Prejean Sex Tapes Have Been Found
GREEN RIVER, Wyoming - The dethroned Miss California, Carrie Prejean, was in Green River signing copies of her latest book Still Standing But Listing Badly. And by all looks of things it now appears that there is not just one sex tape starring Car...
Read full storyA-Rod's Girlfriend Kate Hudson Hints One Day She'll Be K-Rod
WEMBLEY, England - American actress Kate Hudson was in town for a magazine photo shoot. The daughter of Goldie Hawn and musician Bill Hudson is trying to spice up her image from that of the nice girl-next-door to one of the not so nice ho-next-doo...
Read full storyAtheists Announce Santa Alternative. Godless Joe Will "Amuse and Delight."
San Fransisco, CA: Prominent atheist groups met this week to announce the formulation of a positive promotional icon to represent their cause to children this holiday season. According to the group, the new icon will attempt not only to change the p...
Read full storyX-Factor's Danyl Johnson Consoles Adam Lambert Over His Breakup With Drake LaBry
LONDON - The BBC and The Liverpool Scouser Gazette are both reporting that X-Factor contestant Danyl Johnson recently flew to Los Angeles to console Adam Lambert after learning that Lambert had broken up with boyfriend Drake LaBry. Johnson who had...
Read full storyBarnes & Noble Sued By Thomas' English Muffins Over Nooks
"NOOKS as well as CRANNIES are words that belong to us," a Thomas' English Muffin Man indignantly complained. "From time immemorial, everyone knows that it's Thomas' English Muffins that owns the word 'Nook.' It's an outrage that Barnes & Noble...
Read full storyStrictly Come Dancing Sends Ex-EastEnder Natalie Cassidy Back Home
LONDON - The latest casualty on Strictly Come Dancing is the ex-soap opera star of the EastEnders Natalie Cassidy. The 26-year-old actress first found herself in the bottom two and then ended up finding herself trudging out the door. Her dance...
Read full storyJedward To Replace Katie Price In The Jungle
Following Katie Price's shockingly predictable 'I'm A Celebrity' runner, from the jungle, an announcement is expected that Dublin twin disaster duo John and Edward Grimes are jetting down under as we speak to add a little pzazz to the jungle malarkey...
Read full storyX-Factor: The Sun Shines Brilliantly Bright On Geordie Joe McElderry
LONDON - Joe McElderry's singing performance on the latest edition of X-Factor was so good that even the patrons across the street at Little Limey O'Shea's Pub gave the lad from South Shields a standing ovation. Inside the studio, the entire audie...
Read full storyJoe Biden Admits His Man Boobs Are Implants
United States Vice President Joe Biden admitted on Monday that his man boobs are actually breast implants. Biden said that the surgery was done last year by a Boston plastic surgeon before his abortive run for the Presidency. Said Biden, "The i...
Read full storyCountry music awards: An Attack Dog Stood Close By Taylor Swift
NASHVILLE - Nineteen-year-old Taylor Swift captured four music awards. The talented blonde from Pennsylvania won awards for Best Album of The Year, Best Female Vocalist of The Year, Best Music Video of The Year, and the highly coveted Entertainer of...
Read full storyOctuMom Tells Jon and Kate of Jon and Kate Plus 8 She Wants Their Kids
LA HABRA, California - The world's most famous octuplets mother Nadya Suleman has told reporters that she would be willing to take all of Jon and Kate Gosselin's eight children. Suleman said that she realizes that the estranged couple is going thr...
Read full storyCarrie Prejean Says Sex tape Was God's Will...Quotes The Bible..."Don't Hide Your Bushel Under A Light"
Carrie Prejean issued an angry press release today regarding her Larry King interview. "I never got the chance to explain to that dirty old man why I made that tape. It was God's will. I was reading my bible one day and listening to The Beach Boy...
Read full storyX-Factor Danyl Johnson's Mother Wants To Scratch Simon Cowell's Face
LONDON - The 48-year-old mother of X-Factor contestant Danyl Johnson, Maria Pinta Nina Burgess has said that she feels that her son is being extremely mistreated by Simon Cowell. And she feels so strongly about it that she told a neighbor that if...
Read full storyJessica Simpson Takes Credit For The Dallas Cowboys Victory
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Jessica Simpson, the ex-girlfriend of Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo, has told her next door neighbor Truman Rasmussen that she is taking credit for the Cowboys victory over the Oakland Raiders 24-7. "Tits" as Rasmussen aff...
Read full storyBin Laden Furious over X-Factor results, Admits to Being Bored
Notorious, cave-dwelling villain Osama Bin Laden has broken a long silence to express his fury over "Jedward" beating his personal favourite, Lucie Jones, to stay in X-factor. "This is what happens when you give everybody the right to vote. Jedwar...
Read full storyDancing With The Stars: Susan Boyle Very Unhappy That Two Dancers Danced As She Sang
HOLLYWOOD - Susan Boyle sang her heart out on Dancing With The Stars and the audience rewarded her by giving her a standing ovation. She later confided to British judge Len Goodman that she did not appreciate the couple dancing while she was singi...
Read full storyEllen DeGeneres married to Portia de Rossi
New York- Ellen DeGeneres is planning a huge wedding. She will marry lipstick lesbian Portia de Rossi. DeGeneres announced the wedding during a taping of her talk show. DeGeneres said she and girlfriend de Rossi ("Ally McBeal," from "Nip/Tuck") wo...
Read full storyHouston Texans Cheerleaders Say They Will Go Topless
Tired of hearing about the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders all their lives a group of young cheerleaders will appear next year to lead the Houston Texans with half of the group going topless, the male half! "Our cheerleaders will wear as little as poss...
Read full storyBritney Spears Buys A Nudist Resort
PETALUMA, California - The little blonde rich girl Britney Spears has just announced that she has finally achieved her life-long dream. She has just signed the papers and is now the full and complete owner of her very own nudist resort. Ms. Spears...
Read full storyDancing With The Stars Signs Ozzy Osbourne For It's 2010 Season
HOLLYWOOD - The producers of Dancing With The Stars have just announced that they have signed Kelly Osbourne's father, Ozzy Osbourne to be one of the 16 contestants on next year's edition of Dancing With The Stars. DWTS Producer Bernadette Penderl...
Read full storyThe Queen's Speech In Full
'At this time of the year we know it is a special time for you and your families, but this year has been a difficult one for many. Some will have struggled with managing household bills, some will have had to spend less on heating in their castles, some will have had to cut back on the number of servants they have. Our own family only had eight months' holiday this year, and even our eldest son...
Read full storyJay Leno's Ratings Continue Slip-Sliding Downward
CLEVELAND - NBC host of The Jay Leno Show, Jay Leno was in town hosting The Save Lake Erie From Going Dry Telethon. Leno was asked how many automobiles he has now. And the man with the anabolic steroid-looking chin replied that he had about 200,...
Read full storyBritney Spears Naked Circus Concert To Be Shown On The PlayGuy Channel
LOS ANGELES - Representatives for Britney Spears have finally reached an agreement to show highlights from her Naked Circus Tour on cable's PlayGuy Channel. Lagarino Comstock spokesperson for the PlayGuy Channel said that his group has been in neg...
Read full storyRobert Pattinson turns Gangsta!
23 year old Robert Pattinson announced that he was turning 'Gangsta' on October 29, 2009. He decided that he didn't like people knowing him as 'The vampire from 'Twilight''. He says, "I want to have my own image. Something people will remembe...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan taken to hospital by Samantha Ronson
Lidsay Lohan was taken to Cedars-Sinai hospital by her ex-lover Samantha Ronson because of gerbilling. When in the emergency room Lohan was too embarrassed to provide an accurate history but provided the examining doctor with a clue: "There might...
Read full storyWhich Edward would? Edward Woodward! (1930 - 2009)
When I heard the tragic news that acting legend Edward Wooldward had sadly passed away a feeling of disbelief washed over me before the sad realisation struck me that we had lost another one of the greats. I was genuinely upset. The world had lost...
Read full storyAliens ordered Vatican condom ban says Bulgarian Space Research Institute
Sofia - (X-Files): The sheathing of priests' gonads blocks telepathetic (sic) flow according to Space Research Institute of the Bulgarian Academy of Sciences deputy CEO Lachezar Filipov. Addressing a Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence (SETI)...
Read full story"Shocking" Michael Jackson Death Secret!
Never-Land Ranch- Yesterday for the first time the family and physicians of the late pop icon Micheal Jackson came out with a somber message for fans of Michael and fans of plastic surgery. It was revealed that the true cause of death wa...
Read full storyTiger Woods Mystery Car Crash Explained
The questions surrounding the mystery of Tiger Woods' car accident may have moved closer to being answered. Woods wife, Elin Nordegren, has stated she believes her husband has been abducted by aliens, and the man who she found unconcious on the ro...
Read full storyAdam Lambert To Shake Up The CD World!
While doing rehearsals for his new wild, Michael Jackson-type American Music Awards performance last night and amid a thundercloud of hot theater lights and special-effects fog, Adam Lambert governed the sprawling stage while gripping a microphone in...
Read full storyDiscovery of Water on the Moon: Consequences for Business
NASA's announcement that there's water on the moon has created a flurry of activity in the business world: --Producers of Evian bottled spring water have announced that they will be moving all its operations to the moon. Interviewed in Switzerl...
Read full storyRachel Uchitel internet sex video: Chevron dumps Tiger Woods
Orlando, Fla - (Hanky-Panky): Tiger Woods' multi-million dollar Chervron sponsorship has bombed. A a steamy hole-in-one sex romp video, posted on the YouBoob! internet site, has seriously questioned his he-man reputation. The footage, featuring...
Read full storyRobert Pattinson In Row With Sam Uley On Set Of Twilight
No one has been talking about it to the press but a row on the set of Twilight resulted in one group pulling for Robert Pattinson and another for Sam Uley, one of the werewolves! The row was in the exercise room. One day Robinson would have the re...
Read full storySandra Bernhard turns into a lesbian because of an ugly face
In a televised interview Sandra Bernhard says she turned into a lesbian because she has an ugly face and she couldn't find a boyfriend. Bernard says when she was in high school she developed underarm smells. In college she says she had to put Chan...
Read full storyObama to address unemployment with job tax
WASHINGTON DC - According to my source, Heinze Kissinger, the Obama administration is set to announce a new solution to the dearth of jobs in America. Due to the shortage of jobs here, all jobs will no longer pay any money. Instead, all workers w...
Read full storyJennifer Lopez Falls During Her Music Awards Performance And Breaks The Stage Floor
HOLLYWOOD - Jennifer Lopez, aka J-Lo showed her age (and weight) at The Music Awards show as she jumped off of one of her dancers, hitting the stage floor, and landing on her rather ample ass. The stunned performer quickly stood up hoping that no...
Read full storyColin Firth to Marry Susan Boyle
Handsome British actor Colin Firth announced today that he has fallen in love with Britain's Got Talent star and media sensation Susan Boyle and they plan to marry at the end of May! "I truly love Susan", First told a riveted news media. "Beneath...
Read full storyRooney Baby A Chip Off The Old Block
England International and Manchester United star Wayne Rooney today became a proud father for the first time. Wife, Colleen gave birth to a little boy, whom the couple are reported to be naming, Kai Wayne. The couple decided to have the birth in L...
Read full storyMoonlite Bunny Ranch brothel reality TV star dead
Oklahoma - (Rotters): Brooke Phillips was found dead in an Oklahoma City arson attack this weekend following a fledgeling debut in the 'Cat House' reality TV series. The 21 year-old, whose TV screen name was Hoyden Brooks, was one of four found sh...
Read full storyDannii Minogue - Why I Stripped Barenaked Explained
Dannii Minogue explained yesterday to anybody who was prepared to listen, the reason why she stripped bare naked without clothes for the Aussie version of Playboy magazine. For the thousandth time. The X-Factor judge and mentor told us (again):...
Read full storySammy Sosa To Market His Amazing Face Whitening Cream
PHILADELPHIA - Ex-major league superstar Sammy Sosa was recently in the 'City of Brotherly Love' to speak at a Linguistic Convention. As he walked up to the podium a collective sigh could be heard throughout the convention center. Everyone noti...
Read full story'Large VAT, Dave, and put it on the slate'
[Cheesy music, credits run] [Scene: The Winchester Club in Hammersmith] 'Wotcher, Dave, 'as Arfur been in today?' 'No, Tel, 'e's not been in for days. Why not try the lockup?' 'Yeah, might just do that. Give us a lager, please.' 'Comin' up.' [Detective Inspector Chisholm appears, followed by his Welsh sergeant, Terry McCann starts to quickly leave] ''Old it, McCann! Where are you going...
Read full storyWater on Moon Prompts Invasion
Along with NASA's unprecedented announcement today that water has been discovered on the moon, came a joint press release from the Department of Homeland Security: The moon has been proliferating nuclear weapons, as well as harboring terrorists, and...
Read full storyTiger Woods Says He's A Victim Of Road Rage
ORLANDO, Florida - The world's greatest golfer Eldrick Tont Woods, better known as Tiger Woods has been injured in a one car road rage accident. Tiger Woods received cuts to his face, both his golfing hands, his golfing knees, and his golfing lips...
Read full storyRob Pattinson And Kristen Stewart's 'Twilight' Premier On Sky TV Causes Havoc In UK Household.
The television premiere of cult vampire movie, Twilight, on Sky Movies Premier this evening caused chaos in one UK household. Spoof correspondent Skoob1999 wanted to watch the movie so that he could gain a further degree of understanding of the Ro...
Read full storyX-Factor: The Show Must Go On But Without Jamie Archer
LONDON - As they say in show business, 'the show must go on.' And that also happens to be the song that Jamie Archer chose to sing in his 'sing off' with Lloyd Daniels. Simon Cowell cast his vote for Jamie. He said that Jamie not only was the best...
Read full story