There were 16,213 spoof news stories published in 2009. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to browse the spoof news archives.
Naked Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders Entertain Fans Due to Scoreboard Glitch
The Dallas Cowboys officially opened their new home stadium in an NFL preseason game against the Tennessee Titans. This new edifice is a 1.2 billion dollar, fully state of the art facility. The main action, however, was not on the playing field.Read full story
Susan Boyle: A slumdog from Britain
Remember Danny Boyle, the director of Slumdog Millionaire who made the movie for Oscar and won 8 award. There is another Boyle in making. In the show "Britain Got Talent", Susan trumped everyone to win the hearts and soul of every audience present th...Read full story
Woman With World's Largest Vagina Hits Big with 'World's Largest Vagina Monologues'
NEW YORK CITY, NY - After being axed by a TV Channel, the woman with the world's largest vagina told the world that hers was "pissed off," and that it was "not going away." A seasoned Broadway veteran, she responded to her release by network execs...Read full story
Crystal Defanti Sex Video Saves California From Fiscal Emergency
Elk Grove, CA - Ben Findlebaum, a concerned parent in Elk Grove, California, has been busy all night selling the Crystal Defanti sex video online. Crystal Defanti is a digitally challenged 5th grade teacher who mistakenly gave her students a DVD of h...Read full story
Taylor Lautner Steroid Scandal Rocks "New Moon" Set!
VANCOUVER, British Columbia - New Moon cast members today accused co-star Taylor Lautner, 17, of "doping" on the set, taking performance-enhancing drugs clearly in violation of his contract terms. They alleged that, beginning in January 2009 with...Read full story
Rob Pattinson Foot Fetish Too Much for Kristen Stewart, She Reveals
VANCOUVER, B.C. - While most young ladies seem to worship the ground Robert Pattinson walks one, Kristen Stewart revealed that she just does not have the stomach for her British costar's smelly feet - or his foot fetish. The 19-year-old American a...Read full story
Is Kris Allen leaving his wife for a mysterious statuesque vixen?
Hollywood, California - Reports are emerging that American Idol contestant Kris Allen is leaving his wife for another woman. Reporters and paparazzi have packed up their bags after waiting out in front of OctuMom's lawn and did a mass exodus to t...Read full story
Michael Jackson Fakes Death, Goes Into Hiding
LOS ANGELES, CA - Michael Jackson, reported to have died earlier today, actually faked his own death in an elaborate hoax to escape the media, says a source who asked to remain anonymous for her own protection. She claims the body found by paramed...Read full story
Lisa Marie Presley Reveals Intimate Secrets About Michael Jackson
MALIBU BEACH - Lisa Marie Presley, daughter of the King of Rock and Roll Elvis Presley was married for two years to the King of Pop Michael Jackson. They were married in 1994, before a group of 100 family members and close friends. The wedding was...Read full story
Selena Gomez Calls Miley Cyrus "A Pussy, A Real Slut!"
Disney dolls Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez are at it again but now, it's all because of Selena. The Wizards Of Waverly Place starlet called Miley Cyrus "a pussy, a real slut who doesn't know how to sing or act, put by Disney just like that, publici...Read full story
People Googling "Miley Cyrus nude" in vain
According to Google, Inc., despite the ongoing world financial crisis, rising unemployment, the housing market crash, and other more personal troubles, people throughout the world are googling for nude pictures of pop sensation and Hannah Montana sta...Read full story
Evolution: Missing Link Found in Nigeria
A Nigerian professor, Idris Dambusa, claims to have found the missing link in the Theory of Evolution and believes his find will seal the argument and turn the theory into a law. The link, according to him, is in a man so disfigured with athritis...Read full story
Michael Jackson Leaves Everything To Macaulay Culkin
HOLLYWOOD - Michael Jackson's lawyer Erasmus Rainmaster has said that Mr. Jackson left everything to his long time friend and Neverland pal Macaulay Culkin. The 28-year-old Culkin who starred in the 1990 blockbuster movie Home Alone was vacationin...Read full story
Emma Watson shows her wet pussy at film premiere
It was brollies, waterproof macs, supermarket bags over the head and general winter clothing at the Leicester Square premier of the new Harry potter film "Order of the Phoenix". Thanks to the torrential rain that greeted the stars and fans alike,...Read full story
Erin Andrews Peephole Video Found In Samantha Ronson's Backpack
Los Angeles, CA - The lost DVD that supposedly shows Erin Andrews nude through a peephole has been discovered in music pimping, Lindsey Lohan loving woman/boy Samantha Ronson's backpack. The bag was discovered at a local Los Angeles wave pool which S...Read full story
Paris Hilton sucks Lady Gaga's Pussy on the internet!
Lady Gaga's furry pussy was sucked in a new bombshell, porno video, by Paris Hilton, as they rolled, purred and pussied on a white tiger skin rug. Lady, opening her white stockinged thighs whilst rollicking to Wacko's, I'm Mad, slipped on the rug...Read full story
Nick Jonas Admits to Masturbating
Despite wearing a Christian "purity ring" at all times, Jonas Brothers lead guitarist Nick Jonas unabashedly admitted to the news media that he enjoys masturbating as much as most young men. "I've been masturbating since I was 12. I see nothing w...Read full story
Clint Eastwood is Stan Laurel's son - truth revealed at last!
Eddie Large has seen his career revitalised with the overnight success of singer Susan Boyle - many people are claiming they are one and the same- at the most and at the least identical, fraternal twins. Clint Eastwood 53, has also been dogged by...Read full story
Erin Andrews Peephole Video Observations
Tampa, FL - The Erin Andrews Peephole video that is rumored to have made it to the internet may in fact be more disturbing than the 'Unknown Life Form In A North Carolina Sewer'. Witnesses of the video have stated that it contains very little of the...Read full story
The Initials 'CEO' Now Have A Whole New Meaning
At one time in our no-so-distant past the term 'CEO', meaning 'Chief Executive Officer', was invented to replace the perfectly good word 'President' as the title for the person heading up a company or corporation. For some reason, some bureaucratic gerbils somewhere decided that acronyms were better than names for describing institutions, treaties, corporations and other entities of importance...Read full story
Melissa and Joan Rivers Naked Layout In PlayGuy Magazine
CHICAGO - Melissa Rivers and her mother comedian Joan Rivers have just shot a seven-page nude layout that will be appearing in the September issue of PlayGuy Magazine. Melissa who is 41, said that ever since she was eliminated from Donald Trump's...Read full story
Melissa Rivers and Her Mother Joan To Appear Nude In PlayAdult Magazine
NEW YORK CITY - In what is believed to be the first of its kind mens' magazine layout, Melissa Rivers, 41, and her mother Joan Rivers, 75, will be gracing the glossy pages of PlayAdult Men's Magazine in a mother/daughter photo shoot. Melissa was a...Read full story
Snag Films Snags Crystal Defanti Sex Video
Los Angeles, CA - Snagfilms, an award winning internet site devoted to showing top quality documentaries and feature films online, has secured the right to distribute the Crystal Defanti Sex Video. Snagfilms representative, Nigel Witherbottom, sta...Read full story
Sarah Palin Nude Photos beats Vanessa Hudgens and Miley Cyrus
Google, Lycos and Yahoo search engines have revealed their most searched for terms for 2008. With the American election dominating press around the world, Sarah Palin was undeniably the most searched for female on the planet, with the surprising n...Read full story
Britney Spears Naked At The Circus
LOS ANGELES - Britney Spears is getting ready to kick off her big concert tour which is being hailed as The Britney Spears Naked At The Circus Tour also known as The No Clothes Tour. Spears will perform in 49 cities starting off in Hamilton, Ontar...Read full story
People Don't Like X-Factor's Danyl Johnson Because He Looks Like Richard Nixon
LONDON - Simon Cowell is furious that his protege, Danyl Johnson was in the bottom two of the last edition of X-Factor. Cowell said that 27-year-old Berkshire native Danyl along with America's Adam Lambert are the two best singers he has heard in...Read full story
Angelina Jolie Nude In Playguy Magazine
HOLLYWOOD - Playguy Magazine is thrilled to announce that Angelina Jolie has finally agreed to appear in a nude layout in the number one men's magazine in America. The 33-year-old beauty agreed to appear in the Playguy spread for a reported $4 mil...Read full story
Airport X-Ray 'Strip' Scanners May be Purchased by Larry Flynt
When Michelle Obama refused to walk through the new X-ray scanner at the Heathrow Airport, on a trip to visit her cousin, the plan to install these new imaging systems in every airport in the country, ran into an unexpected hurdle. The X-ray scann...Read full story
Anthropogenic Global Warming Virus Alert
The AGW Anthropogenic Global Warming or Human Induced Climate Change virus was first isolated in a lab at the Climate Research Unit of the University of East Nowhere. The AGW virus can be recognized by the following signature - valadj=[0.,0.,0.Read full story
Tiger Woods Fart Caused Car Crash
Tiger Woods, the world's number one golfer who was involved in a car crash outside his Florida home at the weekend, is recovering well, amid speculation as to why the smash happened in the first place. Woods, the cousin of this writer, Monkey Wo...Read full story
Paul Hogan and Linda Kozlowski To Star In "Crocodile Dundee 4 - The Big Snapper Years"
HOLLYWOOD - The two original stars of The Crocodile Dundee movies Paul Hogan and his wife Linda Kozlowski have signed to star in the fourth installment of the Crocodile Man's exploits entitled, Crocodile Dundee 4 - The Big Snapper Years. The film...Read full story
George Clooney Caught Stroking Angelina Jolie's Vagina - Brad Pitt Doesen't Give A Toss
Actor Brad Pitt is said to be 'not bothered' after catching best friend and heterosexual actor George Clooney stroking his wife's vagina when he returned home early from filming his latest movie. Clooney, who is a frequent visitor to the home of J...Read full story
Man With World's Largest Penis and Woman With World's Largest Vagina Snapped Up By ITV
Following their sensational sacking last year, the Man With The World's Largest Penis and the Woman With The World's Largest Vagina have been snapped up by ailing media giant Indiscriminate Television Corporation. (ITV) In an astonishing U-turn, I...Read full story
Kalika Moquin/Rachel Uchitel/Jaimee Grubbs three-way video shocker!
Orlando, Florida - (Muffdivers Anonymous): The 10 minute YouBoob! footage posted today shows the lissom luscious lovelies honing their irresistible seduction skills. Relaxing naked in a steamy TriBeCa rooftop hottub the three dusky doe-eyed b...Read full story
Cher's Daughter Chastity Bono To Get A Penis
WEST HOLLYWOOD - Chastity Bono, the 40-year-old daughter of 70s icons Sonny and Cher has announced that she wants to play on the boy's team. The daughter of one of the most popular music duos of all-time said that she will have the sexual reassign...Read full story
The mother of all e-mail disclaimers!
Please note: This email is intended for the use of the individual addressee(s) named above and may contain information that is confidential, privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humour or irrational beliefs. If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying of this email is not authorized (either explicitly or i...Read full story
Hatton Almost Wins In Las Vegas!
Ricky Hatton did himself and his vast army of travelling fans proud here in Las Vegas in the early hours, when the Manchester-based boxer came to within a hairs-breadth of beating Manny Pacquiao in their light-welterweight championship bout at the MG...Read full story
Shocking Conan O'Brian skit features Adam Lambert on The Tonight Show
In an appalling lapse of security at NBC, our source that will remain anonymous inside The Tonight Show, uncovered this inflammatory script from a 'lost' file inside the new office of Conan O'Brian. The skit heavily features the runner up on FOX'...Read full story
Miley Cyrus Answers Selena Gomez Back: "If I'm a slut, baby you're a motherf*****!"
Few days ago, Selena Gomez and Miley Cyrus were at it again. Yes, a new fight started by Miss Gomez this time. Who said Miley didn't have the right to reply? No one, indeed. Well, if you missed the news. Selena Gomez called Miley Cyrus "a pussy, a...Read full story
Robert Pattison Seen Kissing Kristen's Stunt Double!
Actor Robert Pattinson was caught kissing Kristen Stewart's double in the movies Friday night completely by accident. The romantic couple, Pattinson and Stewart had been using their stunt doubles from the Twilight movies to sneak away to themselve...Read full story
George Clooney Caught Stroking Angelina Jolie's Pussy - Brad Pitt Said To Be Furious
Actor Brad Pitt is said to be 'livid' after catching best friend and heterosexual actor George Clooney stroking his wife's Pussy when he returned home early from filming his latest movie. Clooney, who is a frequent visitor to the home of Jolie and...Read full story
Meghan McCain's Juicy Tell-All Book
PHOENIX - Meghan McCain, the 24-year-old daughter of Senator John McCain and Cindy McCain reports that she received a very lucrative six-figure book deal from The Lower Grand Canyon Publishing Company. Meghan's 493 page book is entitled, Gee Opie...Read full story
Cheryl Cole's 2010 Nude Calendar Selling Like Hot Cakes!
LONDON - Noted singer and famed X-Factor judge Cheryl Cole told a reporter for the BBC that she has just been informed that her 2010 calendar, "Cheryl Cole's 12 Titillating Views" has already sold more copies than any other nude calendar in the histo...Read full story
Porn Princess Joslyn James Says Tiger Nicknamed Her Hoo-Ha, "Tiggy"
LOS ANGELES - Porn star and gold card member of Tiger Woods infamous "Scorecard," was in L.A. for an appearance on The Ellen DeGeneres Show. Ellen introduced her and when Joslyn came out she greeted Ellen with a big tongue-in-the-mouth kiss that a...Read full story
Jennifer Aniston nude pic exclusive!
Hollywood, California - Jennifer Aniston, long known for her modesty, restraint and all around camera shyness, is said to be mortified at the release of nude pictures. So much so that she has had her attorney send scare letters to news agencies a...Read full story
Brenda Song & Selena Gomez named the new Marilyn Monroes
Teen queens, Brenda Song and Selena Gomez have been recently named the new Marilyn Monroes of their generation. The starlets have not done any serious steamy photo shoots yet, but have showed interest in becoming sex symbols. Earlier this week, B...Read full story
Kanye Interrupts Swayze Funeral, Says Jackson's was Better
Even as the buzz on Twitter, Facebook, and the universe of entertainment news outlets is humming with the discussion of the hip-hop star's outrageous antics at the MTV Videao Music Awards, Kanye West doubled down on his image as an outspoken and no-h...Read full story
Kate Gosselin Agrees To Second Nude Appearance In PlayMister
BOSTON - Kate Gosselin of Jon and Kate Plus 8 was in town as the special guest of the Annual Boston Baked Bean Convention. She was asked how she is coping with all of the marital strife that her and her Korean husband Jon are presently going throu...Read full story
Porn star Joslyn James: Tiger divorce follows 'unreasonable' threesome demands with twin sister-in-law
Orlando, Fla - (Horny Mess): "Gorgeous, hot-assed, blonde, identical Swedish twins?" latest Tiger-shag Veronica Slut-Daniels - a.k.a. porn actress Joslyn James - commented today. "Every red-blooded man's fantasy! Ti sure musta thought he'd hit the...Read full story
Amanda Holden to host Britain's Got MILF in the nude!
After her success on BGT, Amanda Holden, 43 has proposed the idea to her friend Simon who seemed mildly interested, yet thoroughly opposed to the idea. Amanda, 40 who is famous for marrying Les Dennis and turning him into a figure that now resemb...Read full story
Rob Pattinson Spotted in Maternity Wear with Kristen Stewart!
VANCOUVER, British Columbia - Today, for the first time ever, Robert Pattinson gave photographers a chance to snap some shots of him trying on maternity wear accompanied by gal pal Kristen Stewart! "Guys can be so competitive," explained Stewart.Read full story
Shaheen Jafargholi should be thrown off 'Britain's Got Talent' for being a professional
Shaheen Jafargholi 12 years 7 months, has been vilified by adults with nothing better to do with their lives, because he is actually a professional entertainer. It's now emerged Shaheen 67, has appeared on Casualty, Torchwood and that classic CB...Read full story
Search for World's Most Beautiful Vagina Takes World's Most Interesting Man To South Carolina On Snatch Quest!
The area is electric with the news that eccentric recluse, noted satyr and voyeur, Fernando Monte Verde, The World's Most Interesting (& irresistible) Man was coming to the Grand Strand on a talent search for the woman with the World's Most Be...Read full story
Man With World's Smallest Penis Website #1
Penis Minus Wilson, (Not his real name) the man with the world's smallest penis, who was second until the recent death of Harvey Tagbone, says that he has the most googled site on the internet. "This really works out great for me", Penis told seve...Read full story
Scandal in Hollywood: Britney Spears' & Sharon Stone's Famous Pussy Shots Were Photoshopped!
Hollywood,CA/ Where Loose Lips Make Front Page News - Professional Hollywood Pussy Watchers were shocked today when a disgruntled photographer disclosed that world famous Snatch Shots of two Lippy Tartlets were Photoshopped! In the now classic...Read full story
Michael Jackson had a Huge Dick
Michael Jackson's autopsy photos show that the pale-skinned star really was a black man after all. Pathologists measured his member at almost 18 inches long - showcasing that no amount of fucking around with his skin could take away his black roo...Read full story
Jade Goody Sexy Page 3 Picture Exclusive
Jade Goody, the former Big Brother contestant who was married to criminal Jack Tweed this week, is in the news again, after it was announced the News of the World have bought exclusive rights to publish her raunchy portfolio of sexy topless photograp...Read full story
'Man With World's Largest Penis And Woman With World's Largest Vagina Axed By TV Channel' Story - First Anniversary Party Planned
One time impoverished factory worker turned billionaire Spoof writer Skoob1999 told us today that plans were afoot to celebrate the anniversary of best-selling Spoof news story 'Man With World's Largest Penis And Woman With World's Largest Vagina Axe...Read full story
Nude Photos of Elin Nordegren Surface In Sweden
STOCKHOLM - An old boyfriend of Elin Nordegren, aka Mrs. Tiger Woods, has produced a box of nude photos that he says he personally took of Elin when they were dating. Kristofer Falkenhoff, 29, an unemployed shepherd said that he dated Elin during...Read full story
Crystal Defanti Points Out Horse Penis on Class Fieldtrip
SACRAMENTO, CA - Teacher Crystal Defanti shocked students of Isabelle Jackson Elementary school today when, on a fieldtrip to a Sacramento, California area farm, she made "highly inappropriate" references to the genitalia and behavior of farm animals...Read full story
Cori Rist or Cori List in new Tiger shagging twist?
New York - (Labia Babe): "Cori List? Hahaha. That's just an anagram of clitoris. Go figure!" the anonymous blonde gal-about-town told LA FagHagSlagMag reporters today. Ms List blames a Japanese celeb-watch site for the accidental miss-spelling...Read full story
Cheryl Cole And Erin Andrews In Naked Internet Lesbian Romp
Internet footage purporting to show X-Factor judge, wife of Olympic quality diver Ashley, chart topping warbler Cheryl Cole and ESPN presenter mit da boobies, Erin Andrews in some hot lesbian action has been exposed as fake. Internet researchers w...Read full story
Miss Piggy Dies of Swine Flu
Miss Piggy, actress and star of television, stage, and screen, has become the first celebrity victim of the Swine Flu Epidemic. The 39 year old actress passed away at Hollywood Hills Hospital surrounded by family, friends, and a representative from...Read full story
Michael Jackson Autopsy Results Leaked to Press
The preliminary results of the Michael Jackson autopsy were leaked to the press this afternoon in Southern California. The autopsy confirms that the King of Pop suffered a massive coronary and died due to loss of heart function. The autopsy also...Read full story
XXX Hairy Potter and the Witchy Hoe Hits Theatres
There have been so many sequels of the nerdmatic cinema about harry Potter and this goblet and that goblin that the authoress' cash cow seemed to milked her last. Then one day while jerking off to some porn in one of her palaces her ladyship came and...Read full story
Pattinson, Stewart & Crew Of New Moon Avoid Near Riot
Paparazzi photographers in Vancouver nearly caused a small riot over the weekend when word leaked out that the cast stars of Twilight's, New Moon were about to appear outside at the conclusion of the filming. Next a group of fans saw the photograp...Read full story
Patrick Swayze diagnosed with rare form of Dancer
Colorado - It's been one year since legendary actor/heartthrob Patrick Swayzee, star of Dirty Dancing and Ghost, was diagnosed with Gold Digging Dancer, otherwise known as Kevin Federline Disease. Swayze is thought to have contracted the disease aft...Read full story
Kristen Stewart And Robert Pattinson Could Have Died Tonight Says LAPD Spokesman
When we asked the LAPD if there was the remotest possibility that Twilight stars and teen idols Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattininson could have died tonight, we were met with a stony silence. When we insisted that we just wanted to know if it was a...Read full story
Sugarbabes Split - again!
Long running soap-opera popular beat combo all girl trio Sugarbabes have split. . .Again. Keisha Buchanan formed the group back in 1998 with then friends Mutya Buena and Siobhan Donaghy. The pressures of popularity, fame, wealth and as many M&...Read full story
Robert Pattinson Says Kristen Stewart Having Identity Crisis
Robert Pattinson says his co-star in the Twilight Series is having an identity crisis and often goes into the fictional personalty of Bella Swan when they are out together. "Our friends and co-workers thought she was just having them on, but she's...Read full story
Breaking News: Pattinson Bows Out of Twilight Sequel
In a shocking turn of events, industry insiders have confirmed today that Robert Pattinson will not reprise his role as dashing vampire Edward Cullen in the Twilight movie sequel. Pattinson had originally pulled out of another project in order to...Read full story
Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart Together in San Diego, Los Angeles
Looks like Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have pulled another one on the Papparazzi because a source from the hotel which hosted ComicCon over the weekend say they were actually staying there in San Diego on the same 11th floor of the nearby Ha...Read full story
Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart to get married!
Yes, it's true, (well, to be more accurate, false) Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are going to get married! Pattinson, 22, proposed to Stewart, 19, last weekend in a dream I had. Rob had taken Kris to Hawaii when he took her on a special dat...Read full story
Taylor Swift The Next Dolly Parton Without the Big Tits
Taylor Swift has broken all of the music industry records and she is only nineteen but she has relatively small breasts. Country music critics are comparing her meteoric rise to stardom to the great and big busted country music superstar Dolly Pa...Read full story
U Tube Clip Shows a Nude Obama Horsing Around in Shower After Pick Up Ball Game; Times Gets Exclusive Rights!
NY/NY Wall Street Journal - The New York Times, once the proud leader of journalistic excellence, has fallen on hard times, and has now resorted to sensationalism in order to boost sagging sales and its shares on the DOW by catering to Obamamania.Read full story
Sarah Palin Invites "Kentucky" Kevin Skinner To Visit Alaska
WASILLA, Alaska - The former governor of Alaska Sarah Palin has invited America's Got Talent contestant Kevin Skinner to visit Alaska. Palin recently called Skinner and told him that she enjoyed watching him sing and that she really and truly feel...Read full story
Woman With World's Largest Vagina Suffering From World's Largest Yeast Infection
NEW YORK CITY, NY - The year's breakout Broadway sensation, the "World's Largest Vagina Monologues," has been indefinitely cancelled after its star was diagnosed with the world's biggest yeast infection. "I had noticed a slight burning, itching s...Read full story
Wanda Sykes To Appear Nude In PlaySista Magazine
CHICAGO - Wanda Sykes, the comedienne who brought the house down at the recent White House Correspondents' Association Dinner will be appearing in the June issue of PlaySista Magazine. The 45-year-old Sykes, who is widely-known for her brusque com...Read full story
Kevin Skinner To Tour With Miley Cyrus, Taylor Swift, and Selena Gomez
NASHVILLE - Kevin Skinner's manager, Sharon Osbourne, has just announced the upcoming Chicken Catcher Henhouse Tour. Mrs. Ozzy Osbourne said that the 42-city tour is being put on by her husband's production company, The Bats Out of Hell Entertainm...Read full story
Shop to Offer Tattoos & Genital Piercings in Bid to Win Supermarket Wars!
In an effort to get to the top of the supermarket charts, Wartnose - the upmarket - super-market - have come up with a unique add-on-service. Philip McBasket, marketing director of Wartnose said, " We have been looking for an edge, a way of usurp...Read full story
Loredana Jolie (no relation) on her high whorse about Tiger shagging threesomes
Orlando, Fla - (Deeper Throat): "Not many women can take the full twelve inches," stunning Sicilian blonde model Loredana Jolie said today, "least, not orally. "Call it an artform if ya like. An inherited talent on the erotic gene. "Sure kep...Read full story
Lisa Marie Presley Given Custody of Michael Jackson's Children
LOS ANGELES- In a surprise move the 13th Superior Court of Los Angeles County has granted sole custody of Michael Jackson's three children to his first wife Lisa Marie Presley. Judge Fernando Hernando De La Luna stated that he based his judgement...Read full story
Woman with World's Largest Vagina Loses It Over Pizza Toppings
WERNERSVILLE, PA - Kate Gosselin told "Today" host Meredith Vieira Monday that she still loves her soon-to-be ex-husband Jon; apparently, her hatred for whole grain pizza with mushrooms, onions, and green peppers runs even deeper. Police arrived a...Read full story
Robert Pattinson Wasn't After Twilight Series Until He Met Kristen Stewart
News being sounded across the net Saturday was that Robert Pattinson had never heard of the Twilight books or that they were planning to turn them into movies, until he met Kristen Stewart. "I have to admit that all those rumors are true", stated...Read full story
Bob the Hermaphrodite has the World's Biggest Penis
In spite of all previous claims to the contrary, a hermaphrodite called Bob actually has the World's Biggest Penis. The Book of World Records has conceded that taking relative body size into account, Bob the Barnacle is the current holder of the tit...Read full story
Man with World's Largest Scrotum Fined for Overweight Bags At Heathrow!
London, UK / Air Travel News - A disgruntled passenger caused a long flight delay today at Heathrow International Airport when he strongly contested being surcharged for having an overweight scrotum, which airport security classified as "carry on ba...Read full story
Shades of Michael Hutchence in David Carradine closet sex game death?
Bangcock, Thighland - (WTF? Sordid Ass Mess): "He chose to auto-eroticise in a frickin' blacked-out hotel closet? ...Like, that's a secret code-word for 'gay' maybe??...Tied the frickin' ropes round his dick and neck himself? Case closed, no othe...Read full story
Swine Flu Jokes Fly At NYC Mayor's Speech On Subject
Mayor Bloomberg's news conference on the flu Tuesday was interrupted by several sneezes and coughs - including one big coughing spell and grunting he faked. The mayor was counseling against too much handshaking, even as he downplayed the threat.Read full story
Mayora Tavares, 16, Arouses Barack Obama's 'Gigante Addormentato'
Aquila, Italy - A 16 year old Brazilian girl, Mayora Tavares, has caused a 'scandalo sensazionale' by catching the roving eye of the most powerful man in the world, Barack Obama. The perky breasted, fulsome bottomed femme fatale had been looking for...Read full story
Nick Jonas Nude Water Slide Before Hundreds Of Park Visitors
Nick Jonas had a brand new experience that most people have never had, he slid down a water slide in a southern Florida Park Monday as people, especially young ladies, wished they had had their cameras or cell phones somewhere on their bathing suits.Read full story
Elin and Josefin Nordegren 2001 naked holographic pop-up advent calendar blamed for Tiger marriage woes
Orlando, Fla - (Bare-Assed Cheek): A 2001 holographic pop-up advent calendar featuring partially clad Elin Nordegren and her stunning identical twin sister Josefin has been blamed as the root of Tiger Woods' marriage woes. The beautiful blonde blu...Read full story
Miley Cyrus Says She's Not "Too Close" To Dad
Miley Cyrus doesn't like to admit it, but she's bothered by people who think that she and her dad, singer Billy Ray Cyrus, are "too close or too cuddly." "That's just stupid", stated Cyrus. "Those magazines have to come up with something to print...Read full story
Swine Flu or Swine Flew?
DES MOINES, IA - As the cases of Swine Flu continue to multiply around the globe, a parallel outbreak of Swine Flew is plaguing farmers and rural residents throughout the U.S. Iowa hog farmer David Lyons described the startling phenomena. "I came...Read full story
Man With Largest Penis Sues Chinese Penis Pump Company Over Malfunction Causing Blowout During Porno Audition!
Frost Proof, Fl,/ Home of the State's Biggest Onions & Juiciest Fruits - Disaster in the Sex Industry today as the Man with the World's Largest Penis suffered a severe set back in his career when his guaranteed 'run flat' penis suffered a blow ou...Read full story
New Twilight Screen Play By Pattinson, Myers In The Works?
The rumor that ran through the crowd at the San Diego Comic Con is beginning to take shape. Although Twilight stars Pattinson, Stewart and Lautner were the screaming highlight for the weekend blow-out, a rumor began going through the audience abou...Read full story
Woman With World's Largest Vagina Visited by Ghost of Johnny Cash
RENO, NV - While spending a night at the Reno Casino Hotel, the woman with the world's largest vagina was visited by the ghost of The Man In Black, say sources. Initial reports suggest the hotel was built on the same spot Cash allegedly shot a man,...Read full story
Miss California Endorses Man With World's Largest Penis and Woman With World's Largest Vagina
VISTA, CA - It would seem Carrie Prejean just doesn't seem to know when to leave well enough alone. Earlier today, Prejean spoke up in support of the man with the world's largest penis and the woman with the world's largest vagina, calling them "goo...Read full story
Janet Jackson, Mariah Carey, and Queen Latifah To Record A Michael Jackson Tribute Single
LOS ANGELES - Michael Jackson's sister Janet Jackson has stated that she will be entering the recording studio and recording a tribute song to her brother with Mariah Carey and Queen Latifah. The song which was co-written by Smokey Robinson and Si...Read full story
Win a Date With Twilight's Robert Pattinson
Good news for single Twilight fans - you can't now win a date with Robert Pattinson, the actor who played Edward Cullen in Twilight! Access Hollywood has just divulged the details of the contest. Interested females between the ages of 18 and 24 ar...Read full story
Plot Revealed of The Lost Symbol, Sequel to The Da Vinci Code
Dan Brown's newest novel, The Lost Symbol, will not be released to the public until September. It is expected to have "Harry Potter like numbers" for the initial release and publishers have ordered more than ten million copies to be printed for this...Read full story
Katie & Peter: the real reason they broke up - Penelope Cruz spills the beans
Malaga, Spain - Once again I have been called to Spain for an exclusive interview with Penelope Cruz to discuss her knowledge on the very recent Katie Price/Peter Andre Split. "Well it's like this…." Said Cruz with a pout "Jordan is a fat whinging...Read full story