'Five Sluttiest Wedding Dresses' designer booked for Susan Boyle topless nuptials

Funny story written by queen mudder

Thursday, 26 November 2009

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The bride was a bit top heavy after the wedding reception...

London - (Bridle Path): So far there's no actual bridegroom, wedding ring or other essential paraphernalia. But, hey! Where's the obstacle?

Sussan Boyle PR sources said today their client had booked Russian topless wedding dress designers Boobski & Trollope for her forthcoming trip down the aisle.

The singer is said to be mesmerised by Wedinator pics of a Moscow bride's 'lovely pair' spilling out all over the internet.

"It's a real Katie Price kinda shmatter," publicist Max Cliffhanger said today.

The dress's other fans are thought to include Kate Middleton and Chelsea Clinton according to Five Sluttiest Wedding Dresses surgical intervention subsidiary Mammoglam Inc.

"Of course, this gown isn't for flat-chested wannabes," a plastic surgeon warned.

"Stick insects like Kate and Chelsea should consider their position."

Dress prices start at $2,000 for the figure-hugging ivory duchesse satin version complete with additional gluteus maximus cheek-pieces.

Matching split-crotch panties and metal detector-resistant underwired waspie come as extras.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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