Al Gore Linked to Ice Age, Extinction

Funny story written by Zabdgrov667

Friday, 27 November 2009

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ROSWELL, NM - The occurrence of multiple Ice Age periods has been well documented. However, Global Warming "activists" have been strangely silent about the phenomenon. Some suspect the shift to using the phrase "Climate Change" is a distraction.

Years ago, Al Gore was approached with the questions: What if the removal of carbon caused an excessive reduction in temperature? What if the carbon removal could not be reversed for centuries? What if carbon removal led to significant negative impacts on food chains and ecosystems? Witnesses claim that Al Gore became rather agitated by the questions.

Few people know that the phrase "Climate Change" immediately began replacing "Global Warming" after the research journal editor had confronted Mr. Gore. These days, the critics' questions are increasing, especially regarding the refusal of "Climate Change" advocates to reveal full data and analysis from their research. The Ice Age questions have not gone away.

A blogger on Area 51 activities with respected connections to retired US Air Force officers has stunning accusations on Al Gore's obsession with carbon. A portion of the exclusive interview is in the transcript below:

vv: Oh yeah, "Ice Age" Al, he's also been called "that weird carbon pusher." He probably sold this planet's atmospheric supply of carbon on five separate occasions, and each time the carbon was removed, the planet entered a centuries long Ice Age, resulting in massive extermination of terrestrial life. Zabdgrov-Xytauron has built Dyson sphere deep-space colonies for several inter-galaxy organizations, and carbon is naturally required to support the life of whatever species contracted the colony construction. When they buy carbon, they don't care what happens to the planet they got it from.

vv: Everyone knows the stories where time travel causes trouble. Many people have figured that the way to avoid trouble is to make sure there are no witnesses around when you're making trouble, some place like 20,000 BC. The White House time machine has caused trouble, but between the CIA, the NSA, and keeping it several levels below Congress, anything that's too weird usually gets "fixed." In addition, it's possible to "delete yourself" if the time machine lacks the energy to sustain the time-space distortion caused by its user. For example, JFK got himself "deleted" and the CIA had to fake his assassination in Dallas.

vv: Apparently, Al took an alien device from Area 51, went back in time, used the device to push the carbon to high orbit in solid form. Since the Area 51 device pushed the carbon into orbit with energy from the past to change the past, the time machine was under minimal energy stress. All in all, stripping carbon from CO2 in the atmosphere doesn't create much of a paradox, so no red flags there.

vv: So Gore hooks up with some Greys, they tell him about Zabdgrov-Xytauron, Gore jumps the time machine sometime about 4,000 BC to meet Z-X, and then says "I got some carbon spheres orbiting this planet - let's make a deal." Normally, I don't sweat secret government deals with alien species outside our solar system, but Al Gore is acting real freaky-weird these days trying to convince us that the world's going to end because of the one element found in all organic material.

The exposure of emails at Climatic Research Unit at East Anglia University has revealed a cover-up of global proportions. Why do these scientists refuse consider climate influences such as solar activity? Why do their theories remain unquestioned after climate models show major deviations from real world conditions in the past ten years?

Some cynics say the answer is simple: If Al Gore is going to be the world's first "Carbon Billionaire," why wouldn't a "former" politician lie, cheat, and steal for outrageous sums of money?

Editor's Note: Many shocking leads have come from "Climategate," and we expect that Al Gore may be implicated in more disturbing scandals.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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