'Arbeit Macht Fries': Fast food outlet opens at Auschwitz concentration camp

Funny story written by raouldukecommando

Friday, 27 November 2009

image for 'Arbeit Macht Fries': Fast food outlet opens at Auschwitz concentration camp
A Big Diddly Whopper

Fast food conglomerate MacDiddly announced today that they are opening a restaurant in what might be the unlikeliest of venues - Auschwitz concentration camp in Poland. The camp, which saw the extermination of hundreds of thousands of Polish political prisoners during WW2, will host the new MacDiddly as from next week.

CEO Ronnie MacDiddly explained 'Many will say that it is inappropriate for a fast-food chain to open in such a solemn place. We will of course tone down some aspects of our operation.' The garish yellow and red of the traditional interior will be replaced with more sombre Autumnal hues. Ronnie will himself open the new outlet but will be wearing striped pyjamas instead of his normal costume.

When asked if the food would remain the same, Liesel added that a new Auschwitzburger would not be on the menu. 'No, that would be tacky. We will though be trying a new burger with a lightly burnt fat-free patty covered in lime.'

Protest groups have begun picketing the camp in anticipation of the opening day. Zlota Brygida of the Oswiecim Women's Group said 'How can they? These conveyor-belt death sheds that have destroyed millions...now there's one in Auschwitz.'

Many have seen this as one in a long line of dubious commercial ventures. The Burger King that opened in Bhopal is cited as one example, and the Starbucks in Guantanamo Bay that only recently closed down is another. None, however, could rival the shortlived tenure of Dunkin' Donuts at 25 Midland Road, Gloucester, the former home of Fred and Rosemary West.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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