BROOKLYN - Reverend Al Sharpton speaking from the Mens' Underwear Department at a Brooklyn Wal-Mart said that he is asking all U.S. retailers to stop using the term 'Black Friday' for the shopping sales day that takes place on the Friday after Thanksgiving.
Sharpton said that he wants them to instead use the more politically correct term 'African-American Friday.'
The reverend was quick to point out that he did appreciate the fact that America's retailers were paying homage to America's African-American population.
But he was quick to add that he would like for the honor to be extended to changing the name that in the eyes of most ex- blacks is a highly derogatory name.
Reverend Sharpton cleared his throat, put down his bottle of MD 20/20 and said, "Da name black, and by black, I means da people black nots the crayola crayon color black y'all.
Dat hideous word dat comes from da Spanish word 'Blacko' which roughly translated means 'black' is a name dat is covered in racial racism, saturated with bigoted bigotry, and stained with da blood, sweat, and tears, of da sour smell of segregationism.
I for one hates and abhor any type of racial bias, or discriminatory inequities. I will seek out injustice and I will kick its mofoing ass back to Mississippi, Alabama, or whatever friggin southern state dat de sumbitch cames from.
People looks at me and dey see a simple man, but hey don't let dees cheap ass clothes, dumb ass hairdo, stupid ass facial expression, and rancid aftershave fool y'alls. I duz knows my P's and Q's and I can dots all my I's and cross all my T's."
One of the managers of a liquor store located in downtown Brooklyn told Reverend Al Sharpton that he would agree to start using the name African-American Friday.
Reverend Sharpton thanked the man. And the man then remarked, "I will change da name but only if youse agree to lends me $800 until next Friday."
In celluloid news. Leslie Nielsen, 93, has just signed to star in the film 'Naked Gun 13 - The Limp Bullet Years.'