Miley Cyrus Thrashes "The Twilight Saga: New Moon" All To Hell

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 19 November 2009

image for Miley Cyrus Thrashes "The Twilight Saga: New Moon" All To Hell
Miley Cyrus wearing a belt buckle and black nail polish that were both given to her by Adam Lambert.

NATCHEZ, Mississippi - Miley Cyrus was in town serving as the Grand Marshal in The 53rd Annual Fried Okra Days Festival Parade.

The parade which draws floats and bands from as far off as Bunkie, Louisiana, and Andalusia, Alabama has been featured on the PBS Channel in the documentary, America's Little Known And Little Viewed Down Home Parades.

This year marks the second year in a row that Miley Cyrus has been chosen to be the parade's grand marshal.

Her dad, singer Billy Ray Cyrus, was actually supposed to be this year's parade grand marshal, but he had to bow out due to a 90s mullet infection which flared up all of a sudden.

Miley chose not to ride in a late model convertible as the grand marshal always does. Instead she will be riding on a float being pulled by a John Deere tractor. The float is a replica of a 50-foot long giant fried okra.

The float is actually constructed of over 200,000 fried okra bits. And it is believed to be the only parade float in the history of parade floats that can be completely eaten after the parade.

Miley was asked about the controversy that is going on between her and Hannah Dakota Fanning regarding the claim by Miss Fanning that Miley stole the name Hannah Montana from her.

The star of Hannah Montana simply replied that Dakota is just jealous of her because she has her name on virtually every product in the civilized world that one's name could possibly be put on.

Miley revealed that she has written a song about the whole incident named, "Yo Dako Fanning, Hey Beeach Stop Fanning The Flames of Your Flimsy-Ass Claim."

Cyrus was asked what she thinks about the new Kirsten Stewart - Robert Pattinson movie, The Twilight Saga - New Moon.

She said that she has no plans to see it, not even when it hits Blockbuster Video. When asked why the bubblegum-chewing Miley replied, "Well, ahh, I don't like it cause it has you know, stupid vampires and wishy-washy werewolves, and you know, dim-witted demons, moronic monsters, and imbecilic zombies."

Miley went on to add that she does not like to watch a movie that has half-baked banshees, oafish ogers, squirrelly fairies, and tacky trolls.

She confessed that it gives her nightmares. She said that the nightmares are even worse than the ones that she has about Dick "The Dickless" Cheney.

In an unrelated story. Reports filtering out of Africa are reporting that the dreaded Vine Flu continues to spread. Authorities in Botswana have said that the Vine Flu has now spread to the giraffe population who reportedly have completely stopped necking causing concern that the giraffes could soon become extinct.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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