Chris Brown Says "Rihanna She Be Lying"

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 9 November 2009


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image for Chris Brown Says "Rihanna She Be Lying"
Rihanna's size 11 feet.

TUSCALOOSA, Alabama - Chris Brown in town for a rap concert at The Cotton Pickin' Arena said that he is tired of people looking at him as if she is a bad guy or something.

Brown said that Rihanna has been telling reporters that he beat her, and bit her, and spit on her.

The native of the Virginia town of Tappahannock, which is Mohican for "Hey woman, you wanna shut the F up" said that he does not understand why RiRi cannot just accept the fact that the night of the alleged assault she just simply tripped and fell because she was wearing a brand new pair of size 11, imported, 6-inch, Italian high heels.

Chris was practicing some musical scales in his backstage dressing room. He was asked how many people he was expecting out in the Cotton Pickin' Arena. Chris stated that he knows that the arena will hold 8,300 people so he figured that it would be at least 8,300.

He was asked if there was any truth to the rumor that he and Toby Keith would be recording a song together. He replied that he had not heard that and asked where that had come from.

When told that the rumor had first been expressed on The Oprah Winfrey Show. Chris rolled his eyes and said that he did not believe anything he hears on Old Fat O's Show.

He said that he wanted to comment on Rihanna going around bad mouthing him. Chris paused to gather his thoughts and then said, "It appears like dat ex-girlfriend of mine, who I once dearly loved and enjoyed having raw, passionate (blank) with has decided dat she wants to just go around and be bad mouthing my ass for no real valid reason."

Brown's eyes started to tear up as he continued, "Now I has been quiet long enough and I just wants to say dat she had better stop her effen lying about what happen dat night cause iffin she doesn't I swears dat I gonna..." Brown caught himself and stopped.

The concert promoter stated that a total of 87 tickets had been sold for the Chris Brown Hey Yo I Be Doin' Damn Good Southern Fried Chicken Tour.

SIDENOTE: We asked Chris Brown about the rumors that he and Kanye West were going to be recording a single together. He replied with a no comment. But a close friend of Brown's said that the two will be going into the recording studio in late December to record a duet titled, "Hey Yo, It Sure Do Appear Dat We Just Be Two Punk-ass Chumps Huh?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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