Cheryl Cole Embroiled In Hair Product Row
X-Factor judge Cheryl Cole has been accused by advertising watchdogs in the UK of falsely promoting the beneficial effects of hair care products. Cheryl, who is universally adored by everybody in the world, with the exception of a certain football...Read full story
Oprah for Prez in 2012
WASHINGTON: With speculation mounting that the Dems could face a severe reversal of fortunes, numerous names are being bandied about as potential [Independent] 2012 Presidential candidates. There's the Sarah Palin cheer-leading section that figu...Read full story
Pirates attack ship off the coast of Benin? Johnny Depp was seen swashbuckling!
Pirates have attacked an oil-tanker off the coast of Benin (where the f**k is that?) and long-lost (very lost!) actor, Johnny Depp was sighted swinging from mast to mast with a parrot on his shoulder called Sweeney Todd. A lá Errol Flynn, Johnny w...Read full story
Dancing With The Stars: Mya's The Favorite, Osmond and Osbourne Are The Underdogs
HOLLYWOOD - The sleek, svelte, and sultry Mya is the odds-on-favorite to win Dancing With The Stars coveted Mirror Ball Trophy. But also with their eyes set on the Top Prize are Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne's little girl Kelly and Marie Osmond's older...Read full story
Tina Fey's Attempt To Play The Role Of Susan Boyle Not Convincing!
Saturday Night Live's Tina Fey who has done some amazing stuff imitating many stars, especially that of VP Candidate Sarah Palin, apparently flopped completely on this weekend's show at an attempt to imitate Susan Boyle. "No one told me I was goin...Read full story
Most European Countries accept multi-culti has failed, only problem is how to catch "horse that bolted"!
Most Western European countries are beginning to extract their heads out of their multi-culti butts and accept the fact that the horse that they let bolt is slightly out of control! Accepting the fact that multi-culti has failed miserably, many co...Read full story
Lou Dobbs Hunts Explorers
It was announced today that former CNN talkshow host, Lou Dobbs has taken on a new job. "I'm stoked about this oppurtunity to serve America", said Dobbs in a radio interview this morning. Mr. Dobbs was reluctant to divulge details, until presse...Read full story
Physicists "Had Enough of Quantum Physics"
Despite the excitement being generated in some quarters by the Large Hadron Collider, the Internationaler Symposion Von Quantum Physic which took place in nearby Geneva this week declared in a statement to the press "Bugger quantum theory. Bugger it.Read full story
O' Halloran - Murder with a Capital Punishment - Part 2
Previous Chapters: Part 1 Part 2 "This is where the victims where last seen", says the robo female cop. She stands on an X marked clearly in yellow paint on the sidewalk nest to an opened manhole cover. "That's one nice looking hole", O' Halloran says. "Stop looking up my skirt, ' Halloran, and pay attention", she snaps back. She was still the same old robotic female cop. Maybe a...Read full story
Clarkson 'wanked into my glove compartment'
Jeremy Clarkson, the high-profile presenter of 'Top Gear', has created controversy yet again - this time by masturbating into the glove compartment of a car belonging to a female guest of the show. The incident, which happened after filming had fi...Read full story
Muslim Headbangers meet in Mekka for the biggest "Mosh In" on the planet!
Muslim Headbangers arriving at Djedda airport and on their way to Mekka are preparing for the biggest "Mosh In" on the planet (Mosh as in Mosh pit at heavy metal concerts for the harmless pop and soul fans amongst you!). Saudi authorities are issu...Read full story
Iran test fires missiles Lands on Israeli Territory
Iran has successfully test fired a long range ballistic missile after it has denied reports that it was planning to launch a full scald attract on American and European interest in the middle East. An Iranian military officer from an unknown sour...Read full story
Ellen Degeneres Does Breast Exams On Paris, Lilo On The Air
Dispite the latest controversy over whether a woman should have an annual breast exam or Mammogram, Ellen Degeneres got all hot and bothered about the news, apparently, deciding to perform her own version while on the air with Paris Hilton and Lindsa...Read full story
Jon Gosselin Makes Balloon Boy Parents Seem Like Ozzie & Harriet
In an audio tape released for the press to hear this morning, a potentially career ending recording of Jon Gosselin apparently stating that " "I put my kids out there to every pedophile on the planet and they never got paid for it." Poor guy. He'...Read full story
Zombies Attack London
Panic was palpable in the streets of London earlier today, as the city was seemingly taken over by the living dead. It occurred at about 10:45am when the first re-animated corpse was spotted shuffling along Westminster Bridge. Onlookers were ba...Read full story
Santa Says War To Brown
Santa Claus, jolly old man and Christmas cheer giver, has sensationally hit out at the government this week, after reports that he is being forced to take on an apprentice. The fat old man said "it's preposterous. I'm a free agent, how can that bu...Read full story
Mandelson Looking Forward To "Well Hung Parliament"
It is reported that everyone's favourite unelected Lizard, Peter "Probe Me" Mandelson, is currently rubbing his grubby little hands with glee, as he anticipates a "well hung parliament" in mid 2009. Mandelson, a closet carpet salesman is trying to...Read full story
Day of natural disasters for Bush twins' birthday
Texarse - (Pethidine Prophecy): Global reserves of karmic analgesia are virtually depleted Bush twins Jenna and Barbara have been warned. Their 28th birthday tomorrow falls on what Illuminati seers have described as the most disaster prone date of...Read full story
Effects of Booze on Random Number Generation
Professor Herman Verbose, of the Gunthar Institute Berlin has been running a quite remarkable experiment that has drawn in students from all over Germany. His post-doctorate students had successfully applied for a grant off the German government t...Read full story
Hairless 200XL HiFi Cable, product review
I must admit I was sceptical when I first received this cable for review from Hairless HiFi cable company. At £500 a metre it seemed a little expensive. This uni-directional quasi fluxed gold connexion cable has the usual quantum tunnelling, light wave amplification and electrical dampening properties HiFi buffs have come to know and love in the higher end price bracket, but in addition, it is...Read full story
Important Findings In University Study
A university has published it's finding's on the often quoted saying 'the grass is always greener on the other side'. The £51,000,000 study, funded by taxpayers, was commissioned by Barry Twatt of the University of Life And Cultural Science in Twi...Read full story
Kate McCann 'pregnant again'
Leicestershire - (Reuterus): Astrologers have described Kate McCann as 'pregnant again' following the LCROSS rocket's cosmic impact on the Moon in September. Analysis of the forty-something Rothley doctor's chart apparently shows the lunar smash h...Read full story
Shock As 'The Sun' Reports A True Story
In a sensational and jaw-droppingly astounding moment of frightening shock and awe, The Sun newspaper today printed a truthful story. Demonic Mohican, editor of the glorified toilet paper, said "I can't apologise enough to our readers. I'm launchi...Read full story
Lucifer To Present 'You've Been Framed'
A new presenter has been unveiled to host 'You've Been Framed'. Lucifer Morningstar, ageless, has been selected to introduce the home video snippet show on ITV. Former presenter Harry Hill is leaving the show to concentrate on actually becoming fu...Read full story
Palace lockdown as Fergie's murdering dresser absconds jail
London - (Tossers): Buoyed by a prison grope therapy session the Duchess of York's former dresser has legged it from her HMP Belmarsh grace and favor suite. Jane Andrews was last seen heading for Windsor Castle, a Thanksgiving carving knife secret...Read full story
Barack Obama releases his version of 'Helter Skelter'
To continue his impersonation of the Kennedy brothers and acting as if it's still the 1960s, Barack Obama today released his version of the classic Beatles' song 'Helter Skelter': 'When I get to the White House I go back to the travel agents Where I stop, and I take my place in the queue Til I fly off to somewhere that's sunny and new Yeah, yeah, yeah Well, do you, don't you, want me your...Read full story
Jon and Kate Plus 8: The Final Show - 11/23/09
WYOMISSING, Pennsylvania - The TLC reality show Jon and Kate Plus 8 is over. And although the final episode did not have the viewership the series finales of M.A.S.H., Friends, or Seinfeld had it did okay for itself. Jon reflected. The kids laughe...Read full story
Lovesick teen inadvertently brings about world peace
Darren Seal, a teenager from Bristol, has been attributed with ending all war and plunging planet Earth in to a time of unprecedented peace. On Wednesday, Darren and his then girlfriend Margo, were involved in a rather bitter argument over play-do...Read full story
Tony Blair War Crimes Trial To Begin ... Well, 'Soon'
The United Nations Security Council has today announced that the much-talked about War Crimes Trial of former British Prime Minister Tony Blair will definitely take place 'some time soon' and without a doubt, "within Mr Blair's lifetime", a UN spokes...Read full story
Republic Of Ireland Threaten To Withdraw From World Cup
Injustice in football is a terrible thing, and it can prove very costly, but the Irish FA have thrown caution to the wind this afternoon in an official statement regarding the injustice served upon them by referee Martin Hansson in last week's World...Read full story
Spark Notes Still Not Available for Health Care Bill
The delay of the Senate Health Care Bill Vote has puzzled many Americans. Citizens wonder when they will know if a new government run health care system will provide America with much needed relief. A report out of the White House early Wednesday mor...Read full story