OctuMom Tells Jon and Kate of Jon and Kate Plus 8 She Wants Their Kids

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 26 November 2009


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image for OctuMom Tells Jon and Kate of Jon and Kate Plus 8 She Wants Their Kids
Kate Gosselin taking a bath and shaving her legs while her kids are playing outside with their brand new pet kangaroo.

LA HABRA, California - The world's most famous octuplets mother Nadya Suleman has told reporters that she would be willing to take all of Jon and Kate Gosselin's eight children.

Suleman said that she realizes that the estranged couple is going through some very painful times regarding their pending divorce. She said that she would be willing to take the kids at least until everything is finalized.

The California mother of 14 children said that she could certainly handle the 8 Gosselin kids without any difficulty at all. She smiled and said that she feels like she has become a professional mom and figures that she is one of the top three moms in America.

She said that having an extra 8 kids would bring the total of children in her household to 22. She smiled and said that she would be able to keep all 22 kids entertained with no problem at all.

Suleman said that she has several ways of achieving this. One sure fire way of keeping the kids occupied is through pinatas.

She said that when her first 6 kids were little she would keep them entertained and happy by letting them hit candy-laden pinatas at least twice a day.

Some of their more favorite pinata characters were Daffy Duck, Kermit The Frog, Winnie The Pooh, Donald Rumsfeld, and their favorite Woody Woodpecker.

The kids would take turns knocking the ever living (blank) out of the candy impregnated pinatas. And Octy adds that not only was it fun, but it was also educational as well.

And it provided them with a means of exercising instead of just sitting around watching TV game shows, playing video games, drawing on each other with magic markers, and eating sugar-saturated snacks like Sugar Bops, Sugar Doggies, Sugar Sneakers, and Sugar Duck Quackers.

Nadya said that it gave her a tremendous sense of satisfaction when one of the kids would finally hit the candy glutted pinata, breaking it, and causing all of the candy to fall out all over the living room carpet.

She laughed and said that they would all holler out as if it was President Obama rejoicing over making another 3-pointer on the White House basketball court.

Octy said that on weekends she will load all 22 kids on her brand new Greyhound bus and drive them down to the beach at Santa Monica.

She said that the last time they were there her kids built a sand castle that was actually big enough to hold all 14 kids.

Octy said that they all had a great time right up until the time that big old freak wave hit and completely destroyed the castle sending the kids all over the place.

She said that between her and two lifeguards they managed to rescue all 14 kids before any of them got washed out into the Pacific Ocean.

In a related story. A close friend of Kate Gosselin has said that when Kate asked her eight kids if they would like to go live with Mrs. Suleman and her 14 kids in sunny California they all started jumping up and down and hollering yes, hell yes mommy, let's go right damn now please, please, please!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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