SANTA MONICA, California - Speaking from her apartment in Santa Monica, Selena Gomez said that she is tired of the media, the paparazzi, and the American pubic comparing her to Miley Cyrus.
Selena recently yelled out at a concert in The Squaw Jane's Buckskin Britches Auditorium in Missoula, Montana, "I'm not the Hispanic Miley Cyrus, Miley's the Anglo Selena Gomez."
The petite singer from Texas said that her and Miley only have three things in common. "One, we're both girls, two, we're both 17, three, we're both singers, and four, we're both sorta kinda pretty."
[EDITOR'S NOTE: And five, neither Miley nor Selena can count worth a tinker's damn.]
Gomez recently told Katie Couric that her and Miley are as different as Adam Lambert and Clay Aiken. She caught herself and then said, "Ah make that Justin Timberlake and Kanye West."
Selena said that if she had a dime for every time that someone has referred to her as the Hispanic Miley Cyrus, she would have well over 700 dimes.
She pointed out that she has only heard one individual refer to Miley Cyrus as the Anglo Selena Gomez. When asked who she replied that it was a reporter for the Spanish cable network Telemundo.
Gomez noted that the Telemundo reporter's name was Almondina "Mony Mony" Sinaloa. Selena said that when she heard Sinaloa refer to Cyrus as the Anglo Selena Gomez her feet just came off the ground. She said that she was sitting at a table at a Taco Bell in La Brea and she let out a yell of excitement that caused the manager to call 911.
When the police arrived she told them that a reporter for Telemundo had just referred to Miley Cyrus as the Anglo Selena Gomez. The officer asked her who Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez were.
Selena was so devastated that she could not finish her order of Triple Layer Nachos.
SIDENOTE: Selena's next single is aptly titled, "I'm Not Miley, I'm Selena Dammit!"