Anthropogenic Global Warming Virus Alert

Funny story written by Andrew

Saturday, 28 November 2009

The AGW Anthropogenic Global Warming or Human Induced Climate Change virus was first isolated in a lab at the Climate Research Unit of the University of East Nowhere.

The AGW virus can be recognized by the following signature
valadj=[0.,0.,0.,0.,0.,-0.1,-0.25,-0.3,0.,-0.1,0.3,0.8,1.2,1.7,2.5,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6]*0.75 ; fudge factor

The external effect of the virus is visible as a tendency of graphed data to dip in the middle and then rise sharply at the end for no apparent reason.

The AGW virus and been found to infect both IDL computer programs and research papers. Attempts to stop the spread of the virus using peer review and analysis have been unable to contain the spread of the infection. In severe cases the virus has been seen to affect the central nervous system in humans although no direct link to the rabies virus has been demonstrated.

It currently appears that patient zero was an IDL program known as "FOI2009/FOIA/documents/harris-tree/". It is not known at this time what other artifacts may have been contaminated by the virus.

Although appearing asymptomatic, papers can become infected on sight. Papers that have cited an infected paper should be treated as infected. Prudence in this regard is highly recommended.

If you detect the virus has infected one of your papers you should place the paper in a suitable quarantined environment. The peat bogs of northern England and Scotland will provide sufficient protection to the environment if the hole is at least 1.47 meters deep.

If you have any software that is infected with the AGW virus the proper procedure for disposal is to maintain an alternating 1 Tesla field in the immediate vicinity of the infection for not less then 2 hours, 4 hours is recommended.

Help prevent the spread of the AGW virus, please model responsibly.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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