Dallas Cowboys Lose: Tony Romo Says He Wants Jessica Simpson Back

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 16 November 2009

image for Dallas Cowboys Lose: Tony Romo Says He Wants Jessica Simpson Back
Jessica Simpson's reaction when informed that her ex-boyfriend Tony Romo wants her back.

GREEN BAY, Wisconsin - Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo sat in the Cowboys locker room disheartened, dejected, and depressed after their lackluster effort (showing) in their 17-7 loss to the Green Bay Packers who were 4 and 4 coming into the game.

The boys in blue (Dallas) had two fumbles, one interception, and Romo was sacked five times. Tony was told that they had a lot of penalties as well and was asked if he knew how many.

Tony couldn't hear the question since the water from the shower was making a lot of noise. Fox Sports reporter Pam Oliver repeated the question a little louder and tried her best not to look down this time.

Romo said that he had no idea how many penalties his team committed but he said that he knows it was "chingos" (lots).

Pam who was now alternating between staring at the shower stall lights and at Tony's general groin area asked him to take a guess.

Tony suddenly dropped the soap, which Pam quickly bent down, picked up, and handed it back to him. He smiled, she smiled, and Tony asked her to repeat the question.

Pam said that she could not seem to remember what her damn question had been but that it probably wasn't that important anyway.

Tony said that he remembered. He told her that she had asked him how many penalties his team had committed.

Tony answered that he would guess that it was probably somewhere around 40 or so and that he knew that Flo (Flozell Adams who leads the league in penalties) committed 20 or more by his big dumb head up his (blank) self.

Pam, who is black, asked Tony if he was implying that the reason Mr. Adams had committed all of those penalties was because he was black.

Tony looked at her and asked "Oh Flo is black? Well guess what little Miss Rev. Al Sharpton lover, I had no idea what color Mr. Flozell Adams was until you brought it up. All this time I had been lead to believe that he was Puerto Rican."

"A 6 foot 7 inch, 238 pound Puerto Rican? Yeah right." Ms. Oliver stated sarcastically.

Tony exploded and told her to get the hell out of his face, his shower stall, and his locker room before he called security and had her arrested for sexual harassment.

As Pam turned to leave she asked Tony if he wouldn't mind autographing the bar of soap for her.

"Out! out! out! Get out you Haitian-looking beeach!"

Tony finally got dressed and headed out to get on the team bus to drive to the airport.

He was asked by a reporter for Jock Illustrated Magazine if he missed his ex-girlfriend Jessica Simpson. Tony grinned and said that to be perfectly honest he wishes that Jess was here right now so that he could at least rub his face between her (blanks) and help him feel a little bit better.

SIDENOTE: Dallas Cowboys kicker Nick Folk, who sat next to Tony on the flight back to Dallas, revealed that Tony had confided to him that he was going to call up Jessica and ask her back.

Folk added that Tony had said that he did not give a gnat's ass if Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, Coach Wade Phillips, most of the Cowboy players, and the majority of the Cowboy fans did not like her.

He said that he misses Jessica's two fantastically beautiful (blanks) and her unbelievably amazing (blank).

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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