Sandra Bernhard turns into a lesbian because of an ugly face

Funny story written by howy

Saturday, 7 November 2009


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In a televised interview Sandra Bernhard says she turned into a lesbian because she has an ugly face and she couldn't find a boyfriend.

Bernard says when she was in high school she developed underarm smells. In college she says she had to put Channel no. 5 in her tampon to get rid of the fish stink.

She complains suffering unbearable agony when she saw attractive couples walking together because she was lonely and always desperate for sex with a man.

She says she tried to ask hundred of men on dates but they rejected her. She even asked an eighty-year-old man on a date but he turned away from her and asked her to show him some mercy.

Out of desperation she dressed like a man and went to lesbian bars so she could feel the touch of another human being on her body.

She tried to date ex-convicts but they told her she was uglier than hell and they didn't have the stomach to stalk anyone like her.

She tells that her mother even criticized her by saying she looked like a man and she would never get married. On her twenty-third birth day her mother gave her a dildo as a gift with the words "Marry this device and live in peace".

When she visited a plastic sergeant he told her that her face was too disfigured and ugly and he was unable to perform a miracle.

Bernhard complains her face is so ugly she doesn't need a Halloween mask when she goes trick or treating.

She says she has fully accepted her situation in life and she stopped dreaming of men. She constantly dates lesbians who use her up like a boy.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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