Pope's wife must die for Armistice desecration

Funny story: Pope's wife must die for Armistice desecration

London - (Greatful Dead Sea Scrolls Stuff): A new decoding of the Synaptic Gospels spells doom for the 11/11/9 Armistice Day floorshow this Wednesday. Old Mrs Ratzinger must finally pop her fetid clogs for Third Secret of Fatty Ma fans to be taken...

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The Streets Of Bordello Falls - Chapter (Unlucky For Many) 13

Funny story: The Streets Of Bordello Falls - Chapter (Unlucky For Many) 13

They met on a mesa overlooking the burgeoning township of Bordello Falls. They hadn't met before, at least not that they were aware of. They'd travelled far, one from way out west, and one from the far North. They met at the Junction of twin trails, where many years in the future, a town would be established. But not at this point. They didn't shake hands. Two grizzled men on horses...

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Regulator To Investigate The X-Factor

Funny story: Regulator To Investigate The X-Factor

Simon Cowell's decision to let the public decide who was to be voted off the latest episode of The X-Factor has sparked a shitload of complaints it has been confirmed, by me, based on no facts at all. Welsh teenager Lucie Jones was kicked off the...

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Metropolitan Police Crack squad - exposed

Funny story: Metropolitan Police Crack squad - exposed

A Metropolitan Police officer from the 'crack' shooting squad C019 has been literally caught with his pants down! Pictures released to the News of the World show the tattooed ass (tramp stamp) exposing himself to the world, whilst explaining he is...

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Twas Hockey Night Before Christmas

Funny story: Twas Hockey Night Before Christmas

Offered as a tribute to our Canadian friends, to anyone from a northern U.S. state, any country closer to the North Pole than the Equator, or anyone who sponsored a kid through years of junior hockey. T'was Hockey Night Before Christmas 'Twas Hockey Night before Christmas, when all through the rink Not a sound could be heard, but there still was that stink. Some skates were hung by t...

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Aerosmith search for new frontman with a mouth as big as the Grand Canyon!

Funny story: Aerosmith search for new frontman with a mouth as big as the Grand Canyon!

Aerosmith frontman "the mouth" Stephen Tyler has quit the band after disagreeing with his best mate, Joe Perry over who was the prettiest! "Working with Joe has become a strain because he always claimed he was hunkier than me and much prettier."...

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Exploding Cans of SPAM Frighten Taliban into Surrender

Funny story: Exploding Cans of SPAM Frighten Taliban into Surrender

Discovering yet another "Serving Suggestion" displayed on each can of SPAM, U.S. and NATO forces have been launching non-lethal exploding cans of the pork based grilling meat against Taliban and other extremist forces. Described as a "Brilliant lo...

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Crybaby Prisoner Barnie Madoff Claims His Tail Hurts

Funny story: Crybaby Prisoner Barnie Madoff Claims His Tail Hurts

You wouldn't think it seeing him only one year ago but Criminal #15454 in a North Carolina prison is a totally different person than the one spending other people's money like it was his own. This reporter was allowed inside five locked gates only...

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Letterman Admits Fondling Susan Boyle

Funny story: Letterman Admits Fondling Susan Boyle

In still another confession last night, David Letterman confessed that the reason Susan Boyle had never showed up on his show for an interview was that, during practice to get her to feel more comfortable, he had tried to fondle her. "I don't know...

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Justin Timberlake falls in love with his female stalker!

Funny story: Justin Timberlake falls in love with his female stalker!

After being stalked by an oddball female Stalker over the last few years, Justin has finally given in to her over possessive approaches and fell head over heels in love! Karen McNeill has been stalking Justin for many a year and up till the court...

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Noisy sex woman becomes new carbon monoxide warning alarm

Funny story: Noisy sex woman becomes new carbon monoxide warning alarm

A woman whose noisy sex enraged neighbours has now put her anti-social behaviour to good use by featuring in new carbon-monoxide warning sensors. Recordings of Caroline Adult-Literacy, 34, and her husband Gillian, have been installed in the new wall...

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'Happy Xmas (War Ain't Over)' by John Winston Lennon released today

Funny story: 'Happy Xmas (War Ain't Over)' by John Winston Lennon released today

'So this is Christmas And what have we done More lies and inventions For old and for young And so this is Christmas A monstrous big lie A faked resurrection Pure pie in the sky A very merry Christmas A miserable New Year Another Bethlehem curfew Obama! We sneer And so this is Christmas For Yanks and by twos Where killing makes profits Let's censor the news And so happy Chri...

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Extreme breastfeeding event slammed as dangerous and irresponsible

Funny story: Extreme breastfeeding event slammed as dangerous and irresponsible

A storm of protest has greeted the announcement of the inaugural "Extreme Breast Feeding" World championships scheduled for August of next year. Event organisers have described the week long festival as a celebration of the unbreakable bond betwee...

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PsychoTown - Part 3

Funny story: PsychoTown - Part 3

Psycho Town Recap: Part 1 | Part 2 5.36am The station house is quiet but for the clacking of typewriters as the other homicide detectives fill out their case reports. O' Halloran sips a coffee as he leans back in his chair, his fat belly falling out over his pants belt. A female uniform approaches. "Holy shit!", O' Halloran yelps. "It's Ok, Detective. I'm not just a floating uniform mov...

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Europe remembers why the Wall was put up in the first place

Funny story: Europe remembers why the Wall was put up in the first place

Despite leaders such as Angela Merkel and Gordon Brown pretending that there's something nice and wholesome about a united Germany, hundreds of millions of British and European people had less fond feelings about what the press is trying to make out...

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'Resigne': calls for Brown to go over letter to solder's mum

Funny story: 'Resigne': calls for Brown to go over letter to solder's mum

As the furious backclash continued over the 'hastilly-scrawlled letter' written by Gordon Brown to a grieving mum, some high-profile figures were sugesting that Brown should lose his job. Jacqui James, whose son Jamie was killed in an explotion wh...

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Dancing With The Stars' Mya Receives Season's First Perfect Score (10-10-10)

Funny story: Dancing With The Stars' Mya Receives Season's First Perfect Score (10-10-10)

HOLLYWOOD - Dancing With The Stars host Tom Bergeron, who is one of the few people on the show who has not come down with the flu, remarked that if judge Bruno Tonioli keeps dancing on top of the judge's desk the shows producers are going to get him...

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Danny Dyer to be given his own Postcode

Funny story: Danny Dyer to be given his own Postcode

Danny Dyer has announced that he is to be given his own East End Postcode. The 32-year-old actor admitted that he no longer considers himself an actor and is now officially a London Postal District. Dyer, who previously had his own Deadliest M...

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Grammy-winning superstars become hopeless drunks after being forced to endure X Factor Jedward's performance

Funny story: Grammy-winning superstars become hopeless drunks after being forced to endure X Factor Jedward's performance

Black Eyed Peas star Apl.de.ap has confirmed the band has developed a drink problem to cope with their harrowing experience on last Saturday's show. Their tipple of choice is a pint of gin with a twist, or if that's not available a cocktail of Bacard...

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Condoms Recycled into Tires

Funny story: Condoms Recycled into Tires

Answering two environmental concerns in one fell swoop, French company Bonami, has patented a new process to recycle discarded condoms into new automotive and truck tires. Typically flushed down with residential plumbing, the condoms are one of th...

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Lady Gaga, Bob Dylan Voted "Most Unattractive" at European NTV Awards

Funny story: Lady Gaga, Bob Dylan Voted "Most Unattractive" at European NTV Awards

Featuring the world history of music at the 2009 NTV European Music Awards, there were no surprises on stage in Berlin where beauty was as much a factor in voting as was talent. Two new voting categories caught many participants and audience members...

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In quotes, the Berlin Wall anniversary

Funny story: In quotes, the Berlin Wall anniversary

German Chancellor Angela Merkel: 'Today marks a happy day for our beloved Fuhrer's dream of a single-state Europe ruled from Berlin. The Reich lives on! Heil Hitler!' Former Soviet Union leader Mikhail Gorbachev: 'And we lost 10 million comrades in the War for this? To see the Germans all happy and smiling and richer than ever, while we starve once more? Pah!' US President Barack Obama: 'Sep...

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Peter Kay hopes to raise a smile

Funny story: Peter Kay hopes to raise a smile

Comic Peter Kay is to record a charity single for this year's Children in Need appeal, which he says has the potential to be "mildly amusing". The as yet unnamed track will be accompanied by an all-star video featuring almost famous faces and lon...

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Cherie Blair 'obsessed' with House of Lords leader Lord Strathclyde

Funny story: Cherie Blair 'obsessed' with House of Lords leader Lord Strathclyde

London - (Barking): Council snoopers spying on the Blairs' rubbish recycling are gobsmacked. Months of covert surveillance of Cherry Bush's garbage activities is about to be posted on the YouBoob! video channel. The Zaprudder-esque footage show...

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N'Gog: I was framed

Funny story: N'Gog: I was framed

David N'Gog and Rafa Benitez have finally spoken out on last nights diving debacle against Birmingham City. Liverpool's young French foward has claimed there is a conspiracy against him. "There were 45,000 fans there, and viewers from across th...

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British Government Considers Legalizing Honour Killings

Funny story: British Government Considers Legalizing Honour Killings

In an ever more desperate attempt to ease post-colonial guilt and show the magnanimous virtues of free society, a vote will come before the Commons today on whether honour killings should be legalized. Nick Griffin, happy to speak on the behalf o...

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Charity "saves" homosexual dog couple from right wing extremists

Funny story: Charity "saves" homosexual dog couple from right wing extremists

An animal charity has stepped in to prevent what could have possibly ended in the murder of two male Pit Bull Terriers, found at a council estate in Mersyside. It is believed the dogs were owned by neighbours and members of fascist group, "Ain't...

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Cockups win on Mount Buggery

Controversy has marred the annual Silly Town Names competition, held on top of Mount Buggery in Victoria, Australia. The judges' decision to award the 2009 title to a joint bid from Big and Little Cockup resulted in appeals from a number of other tow...

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Ahmadinejad: No Penis Envy in Tehran

Funny story: Ahmadinejad: No Penis Envy in Tehran

Iranian President, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad gave a greater insight today into the reasons behind Iran's nuclear programme. "We are shocked and appalled at the idea that people suspect us of trying to create a Nuclear Missile. We would consider somethin...

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Organic vs. GM Sex

Irrespective of culture and civilization, females, before having sex and in order to show their consent, normally send some kind of signals such as: 'You can have me'. Additionally, in certain cultures, a female starts undressing the male. Although alcohol can impair sexual desire, we find a lot of poems which associate wine with good sex. Paradoxically, the poets of the past, due to religious...

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West Coast Woman Whose Vagina Fell Out Offered Her Own Reality Show

Funny story: West Coast Woman Whose Vagina Fell Out Offered Her Own Reality Show

WHIRLPOOL, Washington - Madison Hickenkiss, the 39-year-old mother of 17 biological children has made national news as being the first American born woman to have her hoo-ha fall out, literally fall out of its moorings (so to speak). Mrs. Hickenki...

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