Kilroy-Silk Suggests The Army Occupy Poland

Funny story: Kilroy-Silk Suggests The Army Occupy Poland

Former MP, chat show host, and alleged racist Robert Kilroy Silk put his foot in it again last night on 'Question Time' during a debate over Afghanistan. Kilroy Silk claimed that a government spokesman had revealed that the reason for the military...

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Beatles in meltdown as Pete Best gets Delhi-belly

Funny story: Beatles in meltdown as Pete Best gets Delhi-belly

New Delhi, India - (Revolver): "First Macca's eyebrows started falling off," Sanilav Chowdery told reporters. "Then his face turned a squidgy goo, oozing at the eyeballs and detumescing onto Ringo's shoulder." The promoter was describing the e...

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Copycat Taleban shoot-out at Fort Hood Corrall?

Funny story: Copycat Taleban shoot-out at Fort Hood Corrall?

Texas - (Rotters): The massacre of 12 US soldiers at Fort Hood 'could be a copycat ambush', our man in Kabulshit explained today. The spokesman said the US incident bore some of the hallmarks of this week's Afghan police officer's shooting of five...

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Two Foot Eight Inch Verne Troyer aka "Mini-Me" Hit With Temporary Restraining Order

Funny story: Two Foot Eight Inch Verne Troyer aka "Mini-Me" Hit With Temporary Restraining Order

WEST HOLLYWOOD - The 2 foot 8 inch tall (or rather short) actor known as "Mini-Me" Verne Troyer has been issued a temporary restraining order. Police reports indicate that the tiny little bitty fella has been sending some very not-so-nice emails a...

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Fanimal Flees Edinburgh, Cornered in Brugge

Funny story: Fanimal Flees Edinburgh, Cornered in Brugge

Still wanted by Interpol in Europe, Fanimal Peperami was reportedly seen in at least three countries since his last reported sighting in the U.K. a week ago. Found in Scotland frequenting numerous pubs on Rose Street in Edinburgh, patrons reported se...

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Pope Caught With His Pants Down

Funny story: Pope Caught With His Pants Down

Vatican City, Rome - Pope Benedict XVI was caught quite literally with his pants down. Early in the morning on Dec 8th of last year just before leaving to attend the Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary ceremony, a Swiss...

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Rihanna claims Chris Brown, Bobby Brown are serial "Bitch Slappers"!

Funny story: Rihanna claims Chris Brown, Bobby Brown are serial "Bitch Slappers"!

Rihanna after being beaten up by Chris Brown claims that he and Bobby Brown are both serial "Bitch Slappers" and other "Bitches" are no way safe! Chris, currently serving community service and Bobby looking for a Bitch to slap up are both renowned...

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Octomom Plus Jon Equals Al Gore's Wrath

Funny story: Octomom Plus Jon Equals Al Gore's Wrath

The possible "joining together" of Octomom, Nadya Suleman and Jon Gosselin has brought down the wrath of "Save The Earth" Al Gore. "What kind of message are we sending today's teens who watch these people and their shows?", asked the former Vice...

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The New York Yankees Win The World Series For The 99th Time

Funny story: The New York Yankees Win The World Series For The 99th Time

NEW YORK CITY - The New York Yankees have just won the 2009 World Series. They defeated the Philadelphia Phillies in game six 7 to 3. And in capturing the world baseball title, Yankees owner George Steinbrenner has shown the sports world what spen...

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Quentin Tarantino buys rights from Spoof writers for "Bordello Falls Saga"

Funny story: Quentin Tarantino buys rights from Spoof writers for "Bordello Falls Saga"

Quentin Tarantino was so bowled over by the epic Spoof writers saga called "Bordello Falls" that he promptly payed the writers $12 million for the copyright, the right to film it and all related merchandise sold. Quentin said he had never stopped...

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A Strange, Troubling Voice Haunts Obama In The Middle Of The Night

Funny story: A Strange, Troubling Voice Haunts Obama In The Middle Of The Night

It began shortly after the inauguration. He already knew, that as President, there would be certain things he could never talk over with anyone. The mysterious voice in the White House bedroom in the middle of the night was one of them. It began subtly at first- a small, steady, but powerful voice much like the one that enticed Kevin Costener in 'Field Of Dreams' only more sinister, saying...

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Katie Price aka Jordan Incinerated At Edenbridge

Funny story: Katie Price aka Jordan Incinerated At Edenbridge

Peter Andre, estranged husband of strange glamour model cum reality TV star and ultra-successful drunken slapper Katie Price aka Jordan was reported to be clapping his hands and dancing around the garden of his Brighton home like a demented meerkat u...

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Chinese ambassador Madam Fu claims she's up for a sandwich with X-Factor's John and Edward Grimes

Funny story: Chinese ambassador Madam Fu claims she's up for a sandwich with X-Factor's John and Edward Grimes

Madam Fu Ying has hit out at press reports that she dislikes her neighbours Jedward by sending an open letter to the media declaring her support for the Irish twins. "Their perseverance, work ethic, dedication to excellence and ability to look goo...

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Bill O'Reilly Fires Broadside at "Comrade Obama"

Funny story: Bill O'Reilly Fires Broadside at "Comrade Obama"

Popular Fox "News" Commentator Bill O'Reilly launched an astonishing attack on American President Barack Obama today. "The Russians and the Chinese have less regulation and more freedom of trade than we do. If I was dying of heart disease, and co...

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Amy Winehouse Knocks Herself Out!

Funny story: Amy Winehouse Knocks Herself Out!

In a freak accident Monday, (the only kind Amy Winehouse, ever seems to have) Amy Winehouse was found unconscious on the street in New York as taxi cabs swerved to miss her. Finally, a person who had ran out to clean windshields for a small fee, h...

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The Loch Ness Monster Humped My Labrador!

Funny story: The Loch Ness Monster Humped My Labrador!

Happily married couple Jimmy and Jemima MacFucksakes were enjoying a Highland drive-by vacation when they stopped on the shores of Loch Ness to exercise their pet labrador, Sityabastard. They were horrified by what happened next. Jemima MacFuck...

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Colin Farrell Shaves, Goes Unrecognized in Hollywood

Funny story: Colin Farrell Shaves, Goes Unrecognized in Hollywood

Reportedly based on advice from his agent, international women's top ten favorite bad-boy, Colin Farrell has shaved his facial hair, trimmed back his hair style and even tweezed his eyebrows. The new look was designed to take Farrell away from pre...

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Doctor Who Is Going WHERE?!

LOS ANGELES - NBC has announced that Scottish actor David Tennant has been chosen as the lead in a new pilot, "Rex Is Not Your Lawyer," in which he will portray a Chicago attorney who is prone to panic attacks, and therefore must teach clients to def...

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I lied to save Bush's ass says Kerik

Funny story: I lied to save Bush's ass says Kerik

White Plains - (Rotters): "I lied to save Bush and Cheney's filthy ass," former 9/11 NYPD commissioner Bernard Kerik told a Washington federal court today. "Like, what else is new?" prosecution counsel was heard retorting sotto voce as George W B...

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Lembit Opik Dumps Katie Green His Gorgeously Beautiful "Lingerie Model" Girlfriend

Funny story: Lembit Opik Dumps Katie Green His Gorgeously Beautiful "Lingerie Model" Girlfriend

LONDON - British Liberal Democrat Politician Lembit Opik has surprised family, friends, fellow politicians, and most of the members of the free world by dumping a woman who literally oozes sex. Katie Green, the full-figured beautifully gorgeous go...

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Russell Brand Shows Katy Perry A Trick Or Two - Announces He Wants To Settle Down

Funny story: Russell Brand Shows Katy Perry A Trick Or Two - Announces He Wants To Settle Down

Tatty headed comedian, actor, one time junkie, and close friend of Fawlty Towers actor, Andrew 'Manuel' Sachs, the one and only Russell Brand has reportedly shown new squeeze Katy Perry a 'trick or two.' Perry, an MTV presenter and songstress arti...

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Ferguson complains of "squeeky bum"

Funny story: Ferguson complains of "squeeky bum"

Sir Alex Ferguson's famously coined catch-phrase may have come back to haunt him ahead of his teams much anticipated match at Stamford Bridge this weekend. Often intended to denote a nervous time or period of the season for one or more football te...

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Alan Titchmarsh And Rusty Lee In Live TV Sausage Making Disaster

Funny story: Alan Titchmarsh And Rusty Lee In Live TV Sausage Making Disaster

What was supposed to be a routine cooking item on gardening ace Alan Titchmarsh's UK afternoon magazine show descended into the realms of farce today as Afro-Caribbean-Brummie madcap cook Rusty Lee attempted to make home made sausages. For Caribbe...

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Afghanistan top exporter of Corruption

Funny story: Afghanistan top exporter of Corruption

Corruption has become a major export item for Afghanistan. Sources close to the UN have confirmed during a private dinner party at London's Dorchester Hotel that it is hard to resist corruption from Afghanistan as the product is so generously package...

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Celebrity Beardwatch - First Sting Looks Like A Tramp And Then Jim Carrey Brings His Monster To London

Funny story: Celebrity Beardwatch - First Sting Looks Like A Tramp And Then Jim Carrey Brings His Monster To London

A disturbing new fashion trend has developed on both sides of the Atlantic recently, and it's really getting a lot of people hot under the collar for a variety of reasons. Big bushy tramp beards. US actor Jim Carrey showed up at the London prem...

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Concern as 'joy' comes to Liverpool

Funny story: Concern as 'joy' comes to Liverpool

Liverpool ace Ryan Babel was forced into a grovelling apology last night after his wonder strike against French pace-setters Olympique Lyonnais caused outbreaks of joy on Merseyside. Liverpool's continued presence in the Champions League was hangi...

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Nicole Kidman's Secret Sex Life

Funny story: Nicole Kidman's Secret Sex Life

Award winning Aussie actress, Nicole Kidman, star of movies such as 'Eyes Wide Shut' 'Put Another Prawn On The Barbie Mate' and 'Christ Blue, That's A Whopper!' has shattered the illusion of her being an untouchable ice queen. Kidman, once married...

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Former Bill Clinton Aide Can't Get A Date

Funny story: Former Bill Clinton Aide Can't Get A Date

Betty Salas, a former aide to President Bill Clinton, claims that she can't get a date because of working alongside Monica Lewinsky, and blames both for her problem. "Just because everyone knew that I too was starry-eyed over the President, I did...

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Fabregas - "Make an honest woman out of me"

Funny story: Fabregas - "Make an honest woman out of me"

Arsenal Captain Cesc Fabregas sent a chilling ultimatum to his Manager, Arsene Wenger, by claiming the French man has 48 hours to make an honest woman of him, or he will find a manager that will. "Frankly, I am sick of this. I feel the last 5 year...

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Angelina Jolie's Bizarre Confession: "I Want To Adopt Conway Twitty"

Funny story: Angelina Jolie's Bizarre Confession: "I Want To Adopt Conway Twitty"

Nice, France - In hospital here in France for a suspected case of swine flu, Angelina Jolie admitted to a male nurse that she has the desire to adopt one of the most successful country music artists in US history, Conway Twitty. Unfortunately, Con...

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Asian cleared of shouting abuse at Nick Griffin

Funny story: Asian cleared of shouting abuse at Nick Griffin

Asian Tariq Phalid was yesterday cleared of shouting racial abuse at plump BNP leader Nick Griffin. Mr Phalid, speaking through an interpreter told reporters that he had not abused Mr Griffin, but had actually shouted, 'Get all these bloody spongi...

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Victoria Beckham victim of wee piggy scam

Funny story: Victoria Beckham victim of wee piggy scam

Victoria Beckham has reputedly put a £1,400 deposit on two micro pigs as a Christmas present for husband David. Local farmer Farmer Palmer, whose land adjoins the Beckhams fortress 'Beckingham Palace', told our reporter to, "Gerrof moi f****n land...

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"I saw Elvis!" claims Michael Jackson

Funny story: "I saw Elvis!" claims Michael Jackson

Singer Michael Jackson has stunned his fans once more by claiming he saw Elvis Presley. The 50 year old megastar insisted: "Hee! Hee! It's true." His family refused to comment but a close friend, Cleopatra of the All-Seeing Eye, confirmed it wa...

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Lunatic traffic warden has English village living in fear

Funny story: Lunatic traffic warden has English village living in fear

Britain's most hated Traffic Warden, Geoffrey Showboat, is in the headlines again. Mr Showboat, 53, dubbed 'The Human Ticket Machine' has issued more than 20,000 tickets in this financial year, completely outstripping previous Olympic standard bas...

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Greedy MPs gloat over massive salary proposals

Funny story: Greedy MPs gloat over massive salary proposals

Greedy MPs were today laughing all the way to the bank at the public's expense. After publishing his blueprint for stamping out 'deplorable' expenses abuses, sleaze watchdog, Sir Christopher Kelly signalled to the indignant House of Common as Muck...

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Man Thought He'd Shit Himself, But HAD Only Farted!

Funny story: Man Thought He'd Shit Himself, But HAD Only Farted!

There was panic then total relief in Thailand today when an English teacher in Bangkok thought he'd shit himself, but, as luck would have it, had only farted in his underkegs! The man - me, of course - had just finished eating his horrible dinner...

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Marks & Sponser @Newcastle.

Funny story: Marks & Sponser @Newcastle.

Newcastle United fans are waking up fuming this morning at the prospect of their home ground being renamed. Mike Ashley assured a press conference there is no law against renaming the club. "I looked it up in my Subbuteo rule book." He said. T...

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Obama asked to resign

Funny story: Obama asked to resign

The Association for Black Continuity (ABC) asked President Obama to step down immediately to secure the chances of future black candidates to be elected. ABC Vice-President Leroy Washington said that Barak Obama was an android created in a labora...

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Couple forced to divorce at the airport

Funny story: Couple forced to divorce at the airport

A couple who had booked cheap seats with Cheap-n-air to Berlin for their wedding anniversary were asked to pay a surcharge of £150 by the airline company at Luton Airport this morning. The wife was in tears as she was looking forward to this trip...

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Rev. Al Sharpton Demands The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader Who Impersonated Lil' Kim Be Fired!

Funny story: Rev. Al Sharpton Demands The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader Who Impersonated Lil' Kim Be Fired!

DALLAS - Rev. Al Sharpton has phoned Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones and demanded that he immediately fire the blonde Cowboys cheerleader who put on black face make up and impersonated rapper Lil' Kim at a Halloween party. Cowboys owner Jones res...

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Rafa to consider player/manager role at Pool

There was no shortage of drama today, ahead of this evenings champions league fixtures. Liverpool Manager Rafa Benitez claimed he could return to the playing field if the current form of his side does not improve. "I knew we were lacking depth. Wi...

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Light Shed on Dark Matter

The search for dark matter has occupied the minds of many of the brightest scientists in the world. They can't see it and are continually searching for signs of its existence. In a surprising development progress on this area of research has come...

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Female Suicide Bomber Aborted Mission

Funny story: Female Suicide Bomber Aborted Mission

A woman who planned on detonating stink bombs on the London Underground system told jurors at the Old Bailey today that she called off the attack at the last minute because she wasn't altogether sure that she'd closed the kitchen window, or left wate...

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Rookie Civil War Reenactor Pissed That He Has To Play Role Of Rebel Who "Died From The Shits"

Funny story: Rookie Civil War Reenactor Pissed That He Has To Play Role Of Rebel Who "Died From The Shits"

Rookie Civil War reenactor John Hunter has told his fellow actors that if he doesn't get a new role in his participation of the reenactment of the Battle of Antietam, he is selling all the shit he has bought on eBay and going back home. "What's t...

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