The FDA orders vape juice to taste like fecal matter in light of youth vaping crisis
To stem the tide of youth smokers and those using vaping products such as Juul devices, the FDA will be adding numerous new regulations for cigarettes and vaping products. In addition to banning menthol cigarettes to help reduce the number of youth a...Read full story
Queen Mother's mummified stool sold for $9 million
A perfectly preserved stool believed to have been evacuated by Queen Elizabeth, The Queen Mother, during the war, has been sold at Sotheby's auction house in London to a private American buyer for a cool 7 million dollars. The 7-inch, 14-ounce roc...Read full story
Where are they now? Izal Toilet Paper
Izal medicated toilet tissue? Don't make me laugh. If you don't remember it, you are lucky. This shiny, waterproof, abrasive product was routinely found in workplaces, hospitals, school toilets and public conveniences, probably intending to discou...Read full story
How to talk shit like a professional
Preface: This is another one of those "Jesus Budda self help advice columns". It's essentially shit. Which is good for the purposes of the article. Learning Materials: A human being with a voice box capable of emitting sounds(most likely yourself), a sarcastic tone, a light bulb (for use in darkened areas in which you need to see the person (s) you are about to talk shit to, a bag of drie...Read full story
Harry and Meghan post adorable photo of Archie's first POO
The Duke and Duchess of Sussex have posted an adorable new photograph of baby Archie Harrison's first POOP today - as Meghan, 37, celebrates her first Mother's Day with her son. The adorable single image shows the newborn's SOILED DIAPER or N...Read full story
Song celebrates streets of San Francisco
UPDATE: You can hear the http://www.midiworld.com/files/3230 without Pythonista!! Sidewalk, San Francisco, CA - The top music award for experimental music was captured at the annual Gastrointestinal Melodies Awards earlier today here in San Franc...Read full story
California Officials to Blow up Oroville Damn!
UPDATE: CALFISH is now evacuating the Salmon from below the Damn. According to spokes-fish Hal A. Bight, the fish, and their human worshippers, are stealthily exiting for high ground. “We like water, but a 100-foot wall of it moving at seventy-...Read full story
Dogwalker Jailed For Failing To Pick Up Dog Shit
A man in Scarborough was given a custodial sentence on Friday, after he told a judge he would have no intention of paying any fine levied against him for his failure to pick up a dog shit that his pet had left on one of the town's beaches. Ian Bra...Read full story
Queen Mother's Mummified Stool Fetches £7 Million
A perfectly preserved stool believed to have been passed by Queen Elizabeth, The Queen Mother, during the war, has been sold at Sotheby's auction house in London to a private American buyer for a cool 7 million dollars. The 7-inch, 14-ounce rocket...Read full story
Was Brian Jones really at the bottom of a swimming pool?
Sussex - (Mariane Faithfull Mars Bar Mess): Not really. But police have reopened the file on Rolling Stones wildman Brian Jones' 1969 drowning after an underworld tipoff. The guitarist was originally found bobbing up and down in a pool at Crotchf...Read full story
Old Man Shit Himself On Bus
There were squished-up faces aplenty this morning on a bus full of passengers going to work in Hull, after an old man aboard was caught short, and shit himself. The man, who declined to give his name, was sat on the 'circular' number 2 service tha...Read full story
Football Gossip: Borussia Dortmund Sniggers, Jobbygate, Craig Bellamy shock, Leeds pen?
Borussia Dortmund officials are sniggering at Chelsea's profligacy as it was made official that United States international Christian Pulisic is now a Chelsea player for a fee of £58m. Pulisic will remain at Dortmund until the end of the current sea...Read full story
Laxative Laced Cupcakes Put Pelosi on Pot
Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi and her staff spent the day in the bathroom Friday as Montezuma's Revenge hit with full force. A plate of laxative laced cupcakes delivered by an "anonymous fan" had the Congresswoman and office workers "on the runs...Read full story
Frozen elephant crap divulges elephant stress levels!
Scientists in India are rapidly discovering why elephants can become stressed by analysing their crap, it seems! Now if one has ever chased elephants on a safari, observed the poor creatures chained to their master's logs, being hunted by poachers...Read full story
Man with world's biggest arsehole shits penguin sized turd
A man from the Netherlands was relieved today after battling for 48 hours to crap out a turd the size of an adult King Penguin. Hans Van Flloyd Hasslebank is renowned throughout Holland for having a back passage big enough to take a Eurostar trai...Read full story
Man Shits Himself During World Record Fart Attempt
Mr Arnold Trumper was today being comforted by friends and family after a world record farting attempt ended in disaster. Mr Trumper from Dudley in the West Midlands was yesterday attempting to break the record for the world's longest fart. After...Read full story
"Shit happens" literally as California burglar leaves his DNA in the bog!
In California the clocks tick differently and so do their thieves especially after downing a hot, spicy Mexican taco or two before "pooping" off to work! A burglar who broke into a home in Thousand Oaks, LA, felt his belly rumble as he was loading...Read full story