Funny story: Queen Mother's Mummified Stool Fetches £7 Million

Queen Mother's Mummified Stool Fetches £7 Million

A perfectly preserved stool believed to have been passed by Queen Elizabeth, The Queen Mother, during the war, has been sold at Sotheby's auction house in London to a private American buyer for a cool 7 million dollars. The 7-inch, 14-ounce rocket...

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Funny story: Where are they now? Izal Toilet Paper

Where are they now? Izal Toilet Paper

Izal medicated toilet tissue? Don't make me laugh. If you don't remember it, you are lucky. This shiny, waterproof, abrasive product was routinely found in workplaces, hospitals, school toilets and public conveniences, probably intending to discou...

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Funny story: How to talk shit like a professional

How to talk shit like a professional

Preface: This is another one of those "Jesus Budda self help advice columns". It's essentially shit. Which is good for the purposes of the article. Learning Materials: A human being with a voice box capable of emitting sounds(most likely yourself), a sarcastic tone, a light bulb (for use in darkened areas in which you need to see the person (s) you are about to talk shit to, a bag of drie...

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Funny story: Was Brian Jones really at the bottom of a swimming pool?

Was Brian Jones really at the bottom of a swimming pool?

Sussex - (Mariane Faithfull Mars Bar Mess): Not really. But police have reopened the file on Rolling Stones wildman Brian Jones' 1969 drowning after an underworld tipoff. The guitarist was originally found bobbing up and down in a pool at Crotchf...

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Funny story: Trump Hurls Crap at Supporters

Trump Hurls Crap at Supporters

Milkforce and I snuck into the Trump Rally at Two Forks, Tennessee. We brought Stosh Armstrong with us for protection in case they started throwing punches. Stosh kept a low profile, staying about ten feet behind us in the crowd. It's not that he was...

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Funny story: "Shit happens" literally as California burglar leaves his DNA in the bog!

"Shit happens" literally as California burglar leaves his DNA in the bog!

In California the clocks tick differently and so do their thieves especially after downing a hot, spicy Mexican taco or two before "pooping" off to work! A burglar who broke into a home in Thousand Oaks, LA, felt his belly rumble as he was loading...

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Funny story: Man Shits Himself During World Record Fart Attempt

Man Shits Himself During World Record Fart Attempt

Mr Arnold Trumper was today being comforted by friends and family after a world record farting attempt ended in disaster. Mr Trumper from Dudley in the West Midlands was yesterday attempting to break the record for the world's longest fart. After...

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Funny story: Polly Shits Behind The Door

Polly Shits Behind The Door

Police in Yorkshire say they have apprehended a suspect in the case of a mysterious turd that was left behind a door at a local factory. Polly - no second name - was arrested last night after confessing to friends that it had been her who had laid...

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Funny story: Plumbers Find Turtle Heads Clogging Toilet

Plumbers Find Turtle Heads Clogging Toilet

Something is really polluting the water in Florida. According to Reefer-Rooter plumbers Harry Curler and Ted Touchingcloth, over 50% of the homes they visit to do some type of work or another, they find turtle heads clogging the toilets.

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Funny story: Crapper in the Crapper

Crapper in the Crapper

Shithole, New JoiseyThom Crapper, 42, the former superintendent of a New Joisey Skool District, took a leave of flatulence—uh, absence—after he was identified as the “mystery pooper” who left “deposits” on a rival high school's track. “I couldn't hel...

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Funny story: Scat Fetish Attacks on the Increase

Scat Fetish Attacks on the Increase

In London, further incidents of Happy Scatting have been reported to the police today by both victims and witnesses of this disturbing new craze.

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Funny story: Man Spotted Dog Turd 'Too Late'

Man Spotted Dog Turd 'Too Late'

An Englishman working as a teacher in the Thai capital of Bangkok, was left with egg on his face and shit on his shoe today, after he stepped on a dog turd. The man, Moys Kenwood, was walking around a market in the city when he spied the offending...

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Funny story: Immodium to Merge with Jose Cuervo

Immodium to Merge with Jose Cuervo

Initiating a big movement on Wall Street, the Immodium pharmaceutical brand, will be merging with the Cuervo Company to produce a hybrid tequila product which also aids in preventing diarrhea. A common leakage problem among irregular tequila dri...

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Funny story: Wisconsin Couple Test Relationship By Watching Each Other Use Bathroom

Wisconsin Couple Test Relationship By Watching Each Other Use Bathroom

A Wisconsin couples exercise in testing the strength of their relationship; prior to moving into together has failed, and the couple have now split up, with both parties refusing to speak to the other. In a tentative attempt to test the waters of...

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Funny story: Fart Causes Skid Mark, Divorce

Fart Causes Skid Mark, Divorce

A fart can be more trouble than it's worth sometimes, especially when it's a wet fart, and so it was when unemployed car worker, Tabib Dipthong of Dudley, dropped his guts after a tasty curry last Thursday. Poor Tabib, 34, had taken his lovely wif...

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Funny story: Bill Cosby Stool Sample Frowned Upon By Prison Doctor

Bill Cosby Stool Sample Frowned Upon By Prison Doctor

Bill Cosby, the former comedian who is currently serving a prison sentence for sex offences, is in trouble with the authorities again, after providing a stool sample that was 'less than clean'. Cosby, 81, was required to give the sample in accorda...

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Funny story: Russian Space Toilet Fails, Economic Crap Spreads to Outer Space!

Russian Space Toilet Fails, Economic Crap Spreads to Outer Space!

Cape Canaveral, Fl. / Plumbing News - Just when everyone thought it couldn't get any worse, news circulated today that the Russian Built toilet on the space station has shit the bed, and cosmonauts are up to their ass in the mess. Complicating the...

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Funny story: Man Fell Off Motorbike Into Pile Of Cow Dung

Man Fell Off Motorbike Into Pile Of Cow Dung

Poor weather conditions in the Battambang area that left some roads barely passable, and others extremely treacherous, were the cause of several accidents on Monday, and one, in particular, involving a man who fell from a motorbike into a pile of cow...

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Funny story: Isle of Wight News - Dog Walkers strike

Isle of Wight News - Dog Walkers strike

Residents of Newport are facing a bleak few days as the Newport Union of Dog Exercisers have unanimously agreed to go strike. "Industrial action is the only recourse for our members," said Jack Russell, head of NUDE. "In real terms, the amount we...

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Funny story: Yobbos invent frightening new method of assault

Yobbos invent frightening new method of assault

As if life on the streets was not bad enough these days, we have learned of a frightening new trend which is being adopted by gangs of yobs and hoodies, the length and breadth of the country. First there was 'mugging', then 'joy-riding'. More rece...

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